This time tomorrow, my husband and I will be on a train to Goa, in particular Arambol. It’s the first time we’ve taken a holiday together for almost a year, so I’m really looking forward it.
However, it’s more than just a holiday. I’m hoping it will be a spiritual experience. We’re going to be spending a week with our beloved Reiki teacher from Manali, who’s also in Goa for six months of the year.
Her gift is isn’t just restricted to Reiki. She’s a talented intuitive healer and also does powerful past life regressions, crystal healing, and tarot readings. This time it’s the past life regression and tarot readings I’m interested in.
One of the reasons why I like being in India is because my spiritual beliefs aren’t out of place here, like they are at home. People don’t mock me when I talk of things like prana (life energy), chakras (energy centres in the body), past lives, and other metaphysical things that I’ve come to believe in.
My beliefs have developed and concreted over the years to the point that I want answers. I want to know about my past lives. I want to uncover the past and put together the pieces of the present. Did I really live in India, like so many Indians that I meet seem to think? Have I already known my husband in a previous life time, like how it feels? I want to know about events in my past lives that are affecting me today. I want to know more about my purpose here, and my life’s mission.
I really feel ready for these discoveries. My husband is also keen to find out. Let’s see what happens!
Photo: courtesy of www.flickr.com user uriba
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inspirational India
For those of you who’ve been wondering about the outcome of my traipsing all over Kerala and Uttarakhand with Mahindra Homestays, here it is. The first Mahindra Homestays advertorials have been published in two Indian magazines — Outlook and India Today Travel Plus. And yes, the homestay experience really is as good as what the pictures show! India is an amazing place.
Advertorial in Outlook magazine, 15 March 2010 edition.
First page of advertorial in India Today Travel Plus magazine, March 2010 edition.
Second page of advertorial in India Today Travel Plus magazine, March 2010 edition
Third page of advertorial in India Today Travel Plus magazine, March 2010 edition.
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news & views,
Travel in India,
work
There was an interesting article in The Times of India on Sunday about which Indian city is the best for women. Women in eight major cities in India (Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Chennai, Delhi, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Mumbai, and Pune) were surveyed to find out how they felt about living in their city.
As I’ve always suspected, the answer as to the best Indian city for women depends on how you define “best”. Do you want to be able to feel comfortable wearing a sleeveless top or short skirt? Would you prefer to be able to go to pubs alone? Or walk down the street without being harassed? And feel safe walking in your city after dusk?
The best Indian city for women really varies greatly depending on the criteria.
In terms of safety, Chennai is the stand out city. Almost 75% of women polled said they feel safe walking after dusk, and over 85% said they had never been harassed in a public place or on public transport.
That’s quite exceptional. But could I happily live in Chennai? [click to continue…]
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news & views
Those who have been watching Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jayega will know that tonight is the big night that Rahul Mahajan will choose his bride from the final three contestants. They will then get married.
Rahul is hardly a “suitable boy” though. He is 34 years old. He is divorced, with his ex-wife citing violent behaviour as the chief reason. His family background is unstable, with his father being shot and killed by his own brother. And, his passport is being held in court because he’s facing charges of possessing a prohibited substance.
Of course, all these factors shouldn’t prevent someone from getting married again. But what girl from a “good family” would be allowed to marry him?
I was actually shocked, and a little appalled, to find out who the final three contestants are. Dimpy Ganguly (a 21 year old Bengali), Harpreet Chhabra (a 21 year old deeply religious Punjabi Sikh), and Nikunj Malik (a 25 year old possibly Jat Hindu from Haryana). Just for the record, Rahul Mahajan is a Hindu Maharastran.
In a real life situation, I can’t imagine that any of these families would consider an arranged marriage for their daughters to a man like Rahul Mahajan. Rahaul’s past aside, there are religious as well as age considerations to take into account. Where is the compatibility that arranged marriages are so well known for?
At least Nikunj Malik seems to be coming to her senses. She’s announced that she now doesn’t want to marry Rahul because of his smoking and flirting with other women. But with total nativity she goes on to say that she won’t walk out of the show if he choose her, but he must quit these activities because “these are the two things I will never allow”.
Well, we should all know that men don’t change just like that after marriage, even if they promise to!
So, what’s the deal with these contestants and their families? There would be no chance of an arranged marriage like this happening normally, and the families would probably threaten to disown their daughter if she proposed such a love marriage. Yet, they’ll give it the “okay” all for money and fame? It’s really quite tragic. And I hate to say it, doomed from the start. These young girls really have no idea what they’re getting themselves into, after the thrill has worn off.
Photo: NDTV promotional picture.
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news & views
Having grown up in country Australia, I’m not too bothered by insects and spiders. Therefore, seeing a few cockroaches in our kitchen here wasn’t really any cause for alarm. That was until I got up during the night recently, to get a drink.
There were cockroaches everywhere! All shapes and sizes. Running all over the floor, the kitchen bench, in the cupboards, and on the utensils. The darkness had brought them out of their hiding places, and they were ready to have fun.
I had to face the unpleasant fact that, as well as being under siege by mosquitoes, we had a cockroach infestation!
Before they could get away, I grabbed the insect spray and went on a rampage, killing every cockroach in sight. Then, I had to deal with the disgusting task of cleaning up the bodies.
I mentioned the situation to my husband and he told me about some chalk that it’s possible to buy. Apparently, if you draw a line with this chalk, the cockroaches won’t cross it. I laughed in disbelief. But, while doing the grocery shopping today, I accidentally came across such chalk.
Krazy Lines Plus, in an International Pack!
My curiosity got the better of me, and I bought it. So, tonight, it looks like I’m going to be an artist, with my kitchen as the canvas. I don’t know if it will work to keep the cockroaches away, but it’s worth a try. If anyone has any other solutions for getting rid of cockroaches, which doesn’t involved them dying somewhere in the depths of my cupboards, please do tell me.
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challenges in India
Two evenings ago there was a knock on the door. It was one of the watchmen. He started speaking animatedly in Hindi. Apparently, the housing society secretary had issued a notice about all the water theft going on in the complex. And apparently, quite a bit of it had been taking place from our garden tap.
With Holi approaching, it was imperative that something be done about the problem.
The solution? A lockable tap!
The next afternoon, the watchman and a workman returned with a bright red lockable tap and it was duly installed.
I love it! What an ingenious idea.
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funny India photos
With just a week remaining on my “X” visa, it was time to return yet again to the Foreigner’s Regional Registration Office yesterday. The task: to get a visa extension and apply for my Person of Indian Origin (PIO) card.
Naturally, I was dreading the trip because no matter how much you plan, it never goes to plan at the FRRO! There is always an extra piece of paperwork needed.
I prepared for all contingencies. I consulted the FRRO website and I armed myself with reams of photocopies of every conceivable document — Leave & Licence agreement (lease on our home), both passports (husband and I), visa, resident’s permit, marriage certificate. And then there was the PIO application. More photocopies of the above documents, and three completed copies of the application form. The form said to fill in duplicate, but of course to confuse matters, the conflicting advice on the FRRO website required triplicate. I even took my husband along with me, in case he was needed to sign anything.
Not being morning people, we arrived at midday. In our defense, it did take us two hours to travel there! The reception area looked strangely devoid of foreigners. Soon enough, I realised that the set up had been changed and the queue was now cordoned off down the adjoining hall. Policemen were barking orders about where to go. My husband took a peek into the main waiting area. “It’s chaos in there”, he commented. “The room is full, and people are sitting on top of each other”. [click to continue…]
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bureaucracy,
news & views
Today, I’m very happy mention the success of a special initiative in Australia to protest against the recent spate of violence towards Indians. Yesterday, Vindaloo Against Violence saw over 17,000 people enjoy Indian food at over 400 Indian restaurants, workplaces, schools and universities across Australia.
The campaign was created by a woman called Mia Northrop, 35-year-old digital media professional. She wanted to find a peaceful way of showing the Indian community that they are valued in Australia, and of demonstrating that violence is not acceptable.
Indian restaurants were packed full of diners, and the Victorian Parliament even switched its menu to Indian cuisine to support the event.
Pleasingly, some Indian restaurateurs who were interviewed didn’t feel that Australia was a particularly racist country, and they reported only having welcoming experiences there. For them, it was more about protesting against any violence, rather than that just against the Indian community.
Regardless, it’s heartwarming that this level of support has been shown towards the Indian community. And lets hope that the police take it seriously, and increase their efforts to control the violence problem that’s plaguing Australia.
Photo: courtesy of www.flickr.com user Dickson@flickr
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news & views
Another day, another question!
Today a reader wrote to me and wanted to know about the cultural differences that were attractions, and also challenges, in my cross cultural relationship. I also asked my husband these questions, to try and present a balanced view. Here are our answers.
1. What aspects of the cultural differences were part of the ‘attraction’ between you and your partner?
- Me: Spiritual outlook (the principles of Hinduism reflect my way of thinking more than any other religion), family unity, commitment to marriage.
- Him: The way westerners think independently, and the fact that westerners are capable of doing things on their own, and are quite self sufficient. (I’m not sure that this is a typical Indian outlook though!)
2. What aspects of the cultural differences were ‘challenges’ to the relationship?
- People’s views about race and skin colour (this includes stereotypical views from both cultures), and negative perceptions of love marriages (Indian culture).
- My lack of “adjustability”. I don’t “go with the flow” easily. For example: I tend to get irritated by the everyday difficulties of life in India, and I’m not very accommodating at times. I don’t like it if people turn up unannounced. Or if things don’t go properly to plan. And I like to know all the details.
- The lack of emphasis on time in India. I get quite bothered if he’s not on time and doesn’t let me know if he’s going to be late.
- Me wanting him to contribute more to the household chores, like a western man would.
- I feel like a bit inferior because I don’t always have food prepared, like a typical Indian wife would. However, my husband says it’s not really an issue for him.
- There are other cultural factors, such as the general behaviour of Indian people, that have caused indirect challenges in our relationship. For example, I don’t react well to people’s inquisitiveness and invasion of my privacy. This then creates disharmony.
I think that our answers are quite influenced by the fact that my husband thinks and behaves in quite a non-traditional manner. For example: he doesn’t wish to live with his parents, he drinks alcohol and is also fine with me drinking it, and he likes his space and privacy.
Would anyone else in cross-cultural relationships like to share their attractions and challenges?
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answers to questions
One of the readers of this blog has had a question on her mind for some time now. And although she’s been reading this blog frequently, she still hasn’t got a proper answer for it. In particular, she’d like to address her question to Indian males.
She asks: “Do Indian men in general really like white women? I suppose there are people who do and who don’t, obviously, but I mean in general. Do they find white women attractive? When they stare, why exactly is it for? Is it because they like what they see or is it because they see white woman as some sort of alien/freak who landed in India?”
Your perspectives would be appreciated!
Photo: courtesy of www.flickr.com user Arpana Sanjay
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answers to questions
