My mother in law and me.
My mother-in-law came to visit the other night, to check out our apartment. It was her first visit. She lives in central Mumbai, and doesn’t get out to the suburbs very often.
As happens in India, she only gave us a couple of hours notice about her impending arrival. My husband had to be at work, leaving me to entertain her by myself.
I was terrified. All my fears about not being good enough, and not being Indian, came to the surface. And how was I going to talk to her? She only speaks a few words of English. I get so self conscious when I have to speak Hindi.
The first thing that she did when she arrived was conduct a thorough inspection of the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator. She also wanted to see if I had any Indian cookbooks. Obviously, her first priority was making sure that her son was being properly fed.
However, I felt surprisingly comfortable with her presence. She’s always joking and laughing. She brought me some fish, marinated in homemade masala (spices) and ready to cook. I could even understand most of what she said. Well, at least I thought I could. Sometimes, I have a habit of making it up if I don’t understand!
She was so funny. She told me how she had learned to say “come here” in English. But then a friend asked her, what if you need to tell someone to “go there”. Her solution? She would go there first, then tell them to come!
I can see where my husband gets his happy nature from.
By the time she left. I really was sad to see her go.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Hillarious, the “come here” business! Funnily, one of my cousins, when she was a little girl, said the same thing years back.
thats so sweet…….
This is very nice. I remember having to entertain my mother in law alone the first couple of times – it is stressful! It helps to have a friendly, funny mother in law, though, which it seems you do!
Hey Gori Wife, welcome! It’s great to come across another one of us.
You’ve got a really fascinating blog. I love your beautiful wedding photos. I’ll get mine up here eventually too!
You make me miss my MIL, who passed away nearly 4 years ago. She was quiet and gentle, and always did her best to make me feel like her daughter rather than her daughter-in-law. We always spoke in Hindi because she was very shy about her (quite good) English, and very understanding about my mistakes!
I love your blog – I’ve sometimes wondered if I should write one, but the field of foreign bahus living in India is pretty well covered, it seems! (I’ve been in Delhi for most of the 16 years we’ve been married.)
Frances, that’s so sad about your mother in law. You really must miss her. She sounds like a wonderful, warm person. An absolute treasure. My mother in law makes me feel very included too, and is always asking my husband to bring me to visit. She loves having me around. I just wish I could talk with her properly though. I’m so limited by my Hindi, which doesn’t yet extend to in depth conversations. I’m so inspired to hear that you spoke to your MIL in Hindi, AND that you’ve been living in Delhi for so long! I don’t think there can ever be enough blogs in this field because everyone has such different experiences.
Sharell,ur MIL seems to be a jovial,sweet & kind person!
U r lukin beautiful in da red sari!Ur MIL luks lyk da typical Indian “saas”,wid badi si bindi,chubby-chubby & really sweet & cute,almost mother-like!My MIL is also lyk dat.My MIL also dus dat,da first place wer she goes after cumin home is da kitchen.If v tell her 2 rest 4 smtym in da bedroom,den enter da kitchen,she’ll say da kitchen is da home for every women & da kind of peace a woman gets in da kitchen,she dusnt ghet anywer in da houz.Den wen I cook,she keeps a check on me,occasionally giving tips how 2 make dis or dat.I know,till date(I hav bn married for almost 9 yrs)wenevr I serve da food,afterwards wen I clean da kitchen,she observes me-wedr I’m doin all da duties (a loving wife is supossed 2 do) properly or not!Not da t she dusnt trust me,but hota hai,she is worried bout her son & wants 2 ensure dat he is well kept & mainly,well fed in her absence.
opps.. its iss so hilarious to read this blog
Imagine how hilarious my actual life is then!