It’s the night before Christmas. I’m sitting alone in the apartment feeling really sad, and wishing I was back in Australia with my family and friends. I have no plans to celebrate Christmas at all. It’s making me so depressed.
The mood in Mumbai is still very somber after the terrorist attack a month ago. My husband will be working on Christmas Day (it’s not a public holiday in India). I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’ll be spending Christmas by myself, not doing anything festive at all.
This is the saddest and loneliest I’ve felt in a long time. It really doesn’t seem at all like Christmas. I remember I used to feel such excitement on Christmas Eve.
I really don’t want to be in India at the moment. I guess this is what it feels like to be homesick. I can’t summons enthusiasm for anything much, and I want to sleep all the time — either that or drink wine to make myself feel a bit more cheery.
I don’t want to question my decision in being in India but I can’t help it sometimes. The universe has been so good in giving me everything possible to make my life work out here, but I’m missing the things I gave up.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow. I was in Bombay for Xmas ’08. I was feeling the same was you. Alone in my flat, just wanting it to end.
Then I went for a walk. I waked through Bandra’s quaint (yet spectacularly modest) Christian quarter. Every house had its doors open – smells of roasts would waft out and sounds of Christmas carols made me feel better. A large family who were sitting down for their Xmas dinner saw me walking alone, brooding. They asked where I was going and asked me to join them.
That is the spirit of India, in my humble opinion. It made me feel better.
That is so heartwarming to hear, and yes, it’s definitely what makes India special.
I beg to differ. Christmas is a public holiday in India.