How India Helped Me Find My Purpose in Life

by Sharell on June 23, 2009

in Featured Posts, Inspirational India, Work in India

I was reading a feature in the Mumbai Mirror yesterday, about six people who left their high paying professional jobs to follow their passion and pursue a career in cinema.

It made me start thinking of myself and the giant leap of faith I took. However, the big difference between me and those people was that I had no idea of the direction I wanted my life to go in when I left my job. And I was hardly enthusiastic about creating my new reality.

I had to be pushed by a crisis of mass proportion.

2005 wasn’t a very good year for me. In fact, it was the toughest year of my life. I’d been working in the same government office for 10 years. I was unfulfilled and unmotivated by my choice of career as an accountant, but I tolerated it because it paid very well. The only thing I enjoyed about my job was writing reports. In order to break the monotony of my life, I spent too much time partying, shopping, and taking long lunches. Life had fallen into a very predictable and unproductive pattern.

Then, my long term relationship came to a traumatic end. Along with it went all my plans for the future.

I was completely lost. Nothing of what remained of my life inspired me. I had no choice but reinvent myself. How though? My situation was made even more difficult by the fact that I hated change.

I decided that the only solution was to completely throw myself out of my comfort zone, open myself up to new possibilities, and accept every opportunity that came my way — no matter how much it scared me. And the best way to do it would be to go to India. Having travelled there twice already, I knew of no place that could challenge me more. To take my mind off my woes, I resolved to do community work for five weeks. I chose Kolkata simply because it was a place in India that I hadn’t been to.

I took six months long service leave from my job, left a friend in charge of my home, packed my bag, and boarded a flight.

Then, fate stepped in. Along with it started the long chain of events that led to me to be where I am today — living in Mumbai, married to an Indian guy, and writing about India travel for a living.

I met my husband-to-be within a week of arriving in Kolkata. I immediately felt comfortable with him. He had such a relaxed energy and lightness of being about him, and absolutely no pretenses. When he laughed and smiled, it was for real. And he did it often.

I deliberately spent very little time with him though, because I didn’t come to Kolkata to get involved with anyone. It was curious then that I left Kolkata, after my five weeks, with a heavy heart and the unmistakable feeling of unfinished business.

Back at home in Melbourne, I felt at even more of a loss. There was nothing to keep me there, so I threw caution and conservatism to the wind. Within a month, I was back in Kolkata to resume the adventure.

After staying there for three months, it was almost time for me to return to Melbourne again. I felt troubled. I dreaded having to resume my old life. But how could it ever be possible for me to remain in India? What would I do? I considered taking a call center job.

Then, one night as I was running late to meet my husband-to-be, I happened to cross paths with a friend from Melbourne. Incredibly, she asked me if I’d be willing to manage the guesthouse that she’d been leasing in Varkala Kerala, for the tourist season.

I’d always dreamed of running a quaint little guest house somewhere. Here was my opportunity!

At last, having the incentive I needed, I quit my job in Melbourne. I boarded a train with my husband-to-be, and our lives in 11 huge bags, and headed for Varkala. Like me, he also needed change in his life. We spent eight months there. He worked as a DJ in the beach shacks. We had a marvelous time. We even adopted a homeless dog. However, I discovered that running a guesthouse wasn’t really for me. I felt uncomfortable having strangers around me all the time, and having to interact with them.

It was in Delhi, on the way to Manali, that I had some inkling of where my future career might lie. I saw an advertisement for a writing course in a newspaper. That was it! I wanted to write! I’d always had some natural ability. In fact, my old boss often told me that I was the only person who prepared understandable reports.

What would I write about though? I had no idea, so I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.

My husband-to-be and I spent four months in Manali. I earned some money by selling unique items from India on Ebay. We also had a small shop in Manali. An opportunity came up to work on the set of a Bollywood movie that was being filmed nearby. We took it. However, I couldn’t see myself making a career from any of these things.

I was browsing the Internet for jobs one day, daydreaming about what I could do in India, when I came across a position that caught my attention. Content writer wanted for travel website. Of course, I couldn’t apply because I didn’t have an Indian work visa. However, it made my mind up. I would write about India! Always absorbing, often confounding, never boring, India.

I submitted some pieces to an article library website. They were accepted. I also signed up to the writing course that I saw advertised. Then, fate again stepped in — in a way that still amazes me.

Not long after I’d moved to Mumbai, I received an email from a complete stranger who wrote for the same article library website. Apparently, she’d read my India travel articles and really enjoyed them.

If I wasn’t working full time, she said, I should apply for a position that was going at About.com (a New York Times company). They were looking for someone to write their India travel website. In particular, they wanted someone who either lived in India, or visited there frequently.

Needless to say, I applied and after a tough selection process, got the job. It was obviously meant to be.

A year later, I still can’t believe my good fortune. Work doesn’t feel like work anymore. The days pass so quickly. Whenever someone asks me about my job, I’m happy to say I can always give a positive and excited reply.

It hasn’t been an easy journey though. At times, I’ve felt sick with fear and uncertainty. I’ve questioned giving up my comfortable, stable life in Australia. I earn a fraction of what I did previously, and live in a flat a quarter of the size of my old house. I also miss being close to my family and friends. However, I can’t deny that I feel motivated and inspired like never before.

My life definitely hasn’t turned out like I planned — but in a way it’s so much better. It’s also given me the belief that we really can create our own reality, and that the universe will support us. Reassuringly, I feel like I’ve been rewarded for my courage in daring to do something different.

Some days living in India can be unbelievably difficult. Despite this, I know in my heart that this country is responsible for my life being so fulfilling now. It’s given me a home, a husband, and the opportunity to experiment and find my purpose in life. India has also coloured my life with knowledge and learning, as it slowly reveals itself to me a little more every day.

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{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }

D. Jain metrolandmiscellany.blogspot.com June 23, 2009 at 2:31 am

Wonderful! I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks!

Sarah merlinsarah.blogspot.com June 23, 2009 at 3:16 am

Wow, its interesting to read this as I’m in a similar position. I am 30 and don’t know what to do with my life! I work part-time in an unfulfilling often frustrating job. We live comfortably but I am looking for something more. My husband is content here, but I feel drawn to India–I would love to move for a year (or two or three) but he says he “just got here” (immigrated from India to Canada 2 years ago). I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do with my life and just feel the monotomy of it all.

Thanks for sharing this…atleast someone has been able to find something that makes them happy, and get paid for it!

Tamara June 23, 2009 at 6:31 am

Such a great, honest post. Thanks :)

Auroracoda auroracoda.wordpress.com June 23, 2009 at 9:43 am

Oh Sharell…how I loved this post!

As the day for my moving to India draws closer (October end), I am beginning to have fears of whether or not I can make it there. Will I be accepted, will I learn the language, will I regain my independent nature, so many thoughts criss-cross my brain.

I know I will be happy because I’ll be with Bear. I’m also very excited about my new home there and all the opportunities I will have to change. To be a different and better version of ‘me’. Will I be a writer, will I finish my ‘novel’, will I be a photographer, will I volunteer with women’s groups or a humane society…so many exciting opportunities!

But for a US girl who is a bit ’spoiled’ by Indian standards, I am still nervous that I will fail in some way. Reading your blogs always helps me to know that I will be fine. That I will have you (and your Gori group) there to talk to and learn from.

Essentially, reading your blog eases my fears. Thank you so much. HUG

PS: I LOVE the pic of you and the poochie! I can’t wait to get there and talk Bear into taking me to the local shelters to find one of our own! hehe

Sharell June 23, 2009 at 10:38 am

Aurora, I really understand what you’re going through. It is sooooo scary. I have no doubt that you’ll be fine though and I’m glad I can provide some reassurance for you. It does take a while to find your feet (my first year settling into life in Mumbai was tough, but I remember back and so was my first year living in Melbourne — I shifted there from the country after I finished university) but if you come with an open mind and are prepared to adapt, you won’t fail. And like you said, being with Bear will make it all worthwhile. I’m actually really excited about this opportunity for you! It really sounds like you need a complete change of scenery and the chance to see what new direction you life can take. I think there often comes a time when we become so stale in our usual environment, but the motivation just isn’t there to do anything about it because we get too comfortable (like I was!). You have the right spirit, recognising all the possibilities that lay ahead for you! I can’t wait to see what you end up doing. :-D

Sharell June 23, 2009 at 10:51 am

Sarah — I really hope that an opportunity for something more interesting comes up for you. Maybe you won’t need such a big change as I did to get you on the right track! Maybe just an extended trip to India might inspire you enough? I really never thought I’d find any direction in life. I just expected to keep going through the motions with what I was doing. I wasn’t even motivated to change. So I guess I needed a huge push! If you start trying out different hobbies or different things that interest you, maybe you might start getting some clarity. You’re fortunate that if you live comfortably, maybe you could take some time off work (say a few months) and devote it to new activities.

Tammy June 23, 2009 at 10:57 am

Sharell, this is a great post and I love your blog, have been reading it for a while now. I moved to Mumbai from London last August and it has been a roller coaster ride…I wanted to know what writing course you took? Could you please give me the details. I would be very grateful. Thanks! Keep writing, learning and being happy. Tammy :)

Sharell June 23, 2009 at 11:14 am

Hi Tammy, thank you. :-D The course I took was a creative writing correspondence course from The Writers Bureau. They’re actually based in the UK. More information is available on their website: http://www.writersbureau.com/

What happens is that they send you all the study material, and you have to submit assignments. It’s quite comprehensive. Funny thing was, I didn’t even complete the course — infact, I didn’t even submit one assignment because I got the job with About.com and was totally preoccupied with it! It’s really useful to have the study material on hand though. It’s interesting reading. Good luck! What are you doing in Mumbai at the moment?

Ganga vegeyum.wordpress.com June 23, 2009 at 2:57 pm

I love yr blog, thank you so much for sharing your life with us. I have been to South India many many times, and yr story here confirms what I have always thought – be careful what you wish for in India, for it will most certainly come true. Best of luck, and take care.

PGB June 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm

hmmm .. kept trying till you found what worked for you … takes a lot of (im)patience and guts ;) . good post. glad you found our calling.

shalini June 23, 2009 at 3:32 pm

hey, it was truly enriching to read about your entire journey and thought process……..well i admire your strength and ability to take such drastic decisions in life !!!

Way to go girl !!!!

shalini June 23, 2009 at 3:39 pm

BTW—— loved ur new pic its damn sweet !!!

MDG myindianlove.com June 24, 2009 at 9:10 am

Sharell,

I just had to write and let you know I’ve been reading your blogs here and there, and I love your honesty. You seem like a very sweet person! I am also involved with an Indian man, but I’m not sure at this point if I can fathom living in India like you are doing. As I think someone mentioned before, it’s great to read a blog from a female in a relationship with an Indian man who actually LIVES in India. What a great perspective! Thanks for sharing! And thanks for having a website that is a joy to read!

Sharell June 24, 2009 at 9:25 am

Hi MDG, welcome and thanks so much! :-) It’s true that living in India definitely isn’t for everyone! I just had a quick read of your blog and hopefully it sounds like you won’t have to contend with it since your Indian man loves life in the States so much. I had to laugh over his description of India though, “Its like I’m living in a jungle with animals around me”. I really feel that way sometimes too! And there are so many animals… everywhere, usually sitting perched on things!! :-P

Tammy June 24, 2009 at 9:52 am

Sharell,

Thanks SO much for sharing that information – I will definitely check it out. I moved to Mumbai last summer – the end of August, so almost a year now (gosh, how time flies!) I got married in December and have been working at setting up an office for the same company that I worked for in the UK. It was a lot of work initially, but now I am pretty much done with the set up. Unfortunately with the economic slow down there is a hiring freeze and so we are just two people in a big office…it can get very isolating… I have always wanted to do something more creative and would love to write better, not necessarily to get published, but more for myself, that is why I was interested in where you did your course. Thanks again for the info. Have a great day. T :)

I will keep checking in on your blog – you have great stories and write well

Anwesa anwesananda.blogspot.com June 24, 2009 at 7:56 pm

i just loved this post of yours…sumtyms,life’s not good 4 us,its better dan wat we dreamt of…

Gori Girl gorigirl.com June 25, 2009 at 12:27 am

Love the pup (I’m such a sucker for dogs of all sorts!). I think it’s very easy to fall into a stale lifestyle of office work and regular suburban living – in fact, Aditya and I are sort of in such a lifestyle at the moment, although it’s just stepping stone to more exciting adventures. Of course, I don’t think American suburban living is “stale” to Aditya – anymore than Mumbai suburban living seems to be to you.

I think the greatest difficulty is in striking the balance between comfort/stability and excitement/innovation in our everyday lives – especially when you have a couple with two very different backgrounds. Having a purpose in life is key – but making each person’s purposes compatible can be difficult since most people have more than one goal or purpose, and they’re often at odds with one another. I’ve been thinking about this topic more and more since reading Slate’s review of Cristina Nehring’s A Vindication of Love: Reclaiming Romance for the Twenty-First Century. The book’s blurb is “A thinking-person’s guide to romantic love, a bold and challenging book that makes the case for love in an age both cynical about and fearful of strong passion” – which makes me think that I’ll probably dislike the book, but that it’d be good for me to read it.

Era erasundar.wordpress.com June 25, 2009 at 2:33 am

Congratulations on finding your place in life. Life really is about experiences and people. Enjoy it all.

Jurate agirlfromforeign.blogspot.com June 25, 2009 at 11:00 am

Great story, really enjoyed reading it! Made me think and rethink, and think some more :) I am still working to find my place here.

And adorable picture! :)

Ronny June 25, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Hi Sharell,
Simply amazing.Almost like a fairytale.
i just loved your description of India:
“Always absorbing, often confounding, never boring, India.”

shalini shalink.wassup.in June 26, 2009 at 7:01 pm

Haven’t heard from you in a couple of days…….. kinda missing your posts !! hope to see ya soon !!!

Kishore June 26, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Hi Sharell,
So you are now mumbaikar, I used to be 10 years ago. But I have made a habit of visiting every year. Well you have inspired lot of folks by walking through your life experience.
Did you enjoy rain on juhu beach eating pav vada? Or went to khandala in rainy season?
Keep posting from amchi Mumbai.

Thanks

Kishore

Sharell June 28, 2009 at 12:20 am

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. I really have trouble believing that I’m leading my own life. At times I feel like I’ve been picked up and dropped into someone else’s life. It just astonishes me that I’ve managed to transform my life in such a way, especially because I always considered myself to be quite timid! It is definitely more than I ever dreamed possible. I really do hope that people get some inspiration from it because if someone like me can do something like this, so can many other people.

Shalini — I’m back now! :-) I’d gone out of town for a few days.

Kishore — Two years ago during the monsoon, I ate pav bhaji on Juhu beach huddled amongst the snack stands while the rain poured down. Thanks for reminding me of that!

shalini shalink.wassup.in June 29, 2009 at 10:25 am

oh great…….. love to hear more from you !!!

harvey July 1, 2009 at 7:41 pm

Discovered your blog today. made an interesting read.
Carry on with the good job!
Although not at all sharing any salient features of life with you (except your height) identify a lot with you.
Thanks!

Kirsty Ashton July 4, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Nice blog was very interesting! I am also living in India in Jodhpur as I married an Indian citizen. I am from the UK and met my husband in the airforce over there. I moved here to be with him! How do you cope with the heat???!!!! I’ve been thinking of writing myself to make my stories of good use!!! Great to read about somebody with similar experiences! :)

Sharell July 4, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Hi Kirsty, wow, Jodhpur — it must get so unbearably hot there during the summer. Mumbai isn’t too bad, the temperature is usually only around 35 degrees at its warmest but the humidity can get really high. I find myself avoiding going outside for days because beads of sweat appear without me even moving! It’s so very tiring, as I’m sure you’ve experienced as well. You should definitely write. If you do, I’d love to read your stories. :-) I’m sure you must have some fascinating ones!

Ady July 6, 2009 at 10:56 pm

Sharell,

I don’t know how to thank all these lines. I adore India, but in the same time, it scares me. More then 2 years, there is in my life a question: India or Europe,,,,,, and I don’t know yet the answer. I beg you, give me courage to choose India. Tell it to me, it is possible. Everything what gives sense to my life is there, but I am scared to go for it.

Thank you!!!

Sharell July 7, 2009 at 12:10 am

Hi Ady, definitely choose India! If you know in your heart that India is what appeals to you, then India is the place you should go. Most people feel fear when they take a step into the unknown. It’s natural and very common. My god, I was terrified! But there’s a saying “Courage is not lack of fear, it is taking action despite the fear”. Life is all about growing and learning, and we can’t do that by giving into our fears. If we do give into our fears, then they think they’ve won and they stay there and take over. :-( Also remember nothing in life is permanent. Coming to India is not an irreversible decision. And fear is not a permanent emotion. If you don’t like it here, you can always go back home or go to Europe. The important thing is coming to India and trying it, then you’ll never regret not taking the chance.

Not sure if you’re into personal development at all, but I found this article on courage really inspiring when I was feeling scared about coming to India. It’s quite in depth. Hopefully, it might help you or someone else. http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/courage-to-live-consciously.htm

Kirsty Ashton July 13, 2009 at 12:20 am

Hi Sharell,
Thanks for the reply, yes I do have millions of stories to tell, every day is an interesting event here! Yes the heat is unbearable in Jodhpur reaching 45 degrees celcius, I really am not coping well. I think it must be much better in mumbai, and I’ve heard its more like the western world there. Here in Jodhpur people stare at me like some kind of zoo animal, don’t think they’ve seen a white woman before!
Would it be possible to mail you in private as it would be really great to talk to someone in similar situation to me, especially from a western perspective?!!!
Thanks, Kirsty :)

Padma padmasmusings.blogspot.com July 23, 2009 at 8:34 am

This is a beautiful post :)

Rajan July 30, 2009 at 11:31 am

Do I envy your job? Do I ? OMG!! Here I am, training to be a fashion designer in some far off land. I so wish I had your job. Grrrr…

Sharell July 30, 2009 at 1:56 pm

But I suffered 10 years in a stuffy government accounting office before I found a job I enjoyed… I think that’s much worse than studying fashion designing! :-P

Deepak Mohan disorientedoutoffocus.blogspot.com July 31, 2009 at 3:15 am

Lovely blog :)

Irene August 8, 2009 at 3:16 pm

“It’s also given me the belief that we really can create our own reality, and that the universe will support us. Reassuringly, I feel like I’ve been rewarded for my courage in daring to do something different.”

Thank you for this profound observation – as a parent of grown up “kids” it is easy to fear for them when I see them taking decisions and doing things that seem “illogical, irresponsible, crazy” to me – Of course I forget I did those things to my parents too ;-) . I am finding that what you say is so true, the universe does support them when they step out into the unknown – and they do seem to get rewarded. My job now is to relax and enjoy watching their lives unfold and if requested, support them where needed. I love your story. Feeling gratitude is the secret to finding happiness in life.

Sharell August 8, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Thanks for your wonderful perspective Irene. I can imagine it would be so difficult being a parent. I would be very concerned about my children’s decisions and wellbeing, as I’m sure my parents have been concerned about mine! It would be very hard to sit back and watch them make “crazy” decisions. It’s reassuring to know that they have been rewarded for their efforts though. That’s all we can do — put our trust in the universe! I hope I can keep that in mind if/when I become a parent. :-)

Jaya August 18, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Sharell,

I was moved after reading your post. Its such a true life adventure that inspired me. You have instilled the motivation that a jack of many trades has more options to choose from than being a master of one. I have always felt that I’m not super skilled in one area. But now I learnt that having my hand on many things will be a help when i want to switch over.

Jaya

Sharell August 19, 2009 at 10:51 am

Hi Jaya, I’m glad to know you liked the post. It’s always so satisfying to read something and come away feeling inspired! :-) Some people seem to know what they want to do with their lives from a young age. Others need to experiment a bit! For sure, it sounds like you’ve enabled plenty of options for yourself, which is a great thing. It’s also like that saying, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket”!

Neha ms-nehagandhi.blogspot.com August 21, 2009 at 7:32 pm

wow…its such a beautiful post…
it exudes so much positivity….i think u r a great person :) and its a very common saying in India ” good things happen to good people ” :)

Sharell August 21, 2009 at 7:37 pm

Thank you so much Neha. And welcome to my blog! I really hope you keep enjoying it. :-D

Arunabh Das August 24, 2009 at 10:56 am

Way to go!! More power to you. – Arunabh Das

Srivalli cooking4allseasons.blogspot.com September 7, 2009 at 3:23 pm

This is very inspiring!…great to know the happy ending..:)

Amit November 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Hi Sharell

Love your blog. Reminds me of home. missing home now.
Everything is simplistically chaotic and colourfully messy

Amit

leon dhapa.com December 5, 2009 at 11:19 pm

just stumble upon your site and enjoyed reading your amazing life story in india :)

Mallika January 29, 2010 at 12:22 am

Loved this writeup..and your other posts too:)

Sharell January 29, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Thanks so much, Mallika! I’m so happy to know that. :-D

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