Indian Men Being Hand Fed By Mummy

by Sharell शारेल on June 1, 2009

in Culture Shock in India, Daily Life in India

My husband went to visit a friend yesterday afternoon. When he came back, I asked him “what all” happened there.

“Well,” he said, “when I arrived, my friend’s mum was feeding my friend his lunch.” Oh, you mean serving him his lunch? “No”, he replied. “his mum was feeding him his lunch with her hand”. And how old is your friend? “Around 30 years old”.

I’m fully aware that Indian mothers often hand feed their sons until they are quite old. However, I was shocked (and even a little appalled) that an adult man could still be getting hand fed by his mother!

Knowing that my husband, the eldest son, got treated like a chota raja (little king) when he was growing up, I asked him when his mother stopped feeding him. “When I was about 15 and started going out often”, he replied. And, do you think she’d still feed you now, at age 35, if you asked her to? “Yes, but she’d tell me it isn’t good”.

Hmmm. Now, I’m wondering what is normal in India in relation to this kind of behaviour. What will happen when the 30 year old Peter Pan man, who’s still being hand fed, gets married. Will his wife be expected to take over feeding duties? Or will his mother keep doing it? Or, will he finally become a grown up and start feeding himself?

All you Indian men out there, I’d love to hear about your situations. Do you still like to be hand fed? Or, up to what age did you get fed?

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© Copyright 2009 Sharell शारेल, Diary of a White Indian Housewife 2008-2014. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy and reproduce text or images without permission.

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{ 378 comments… read them below or add one }

Rabbit January 25, 2011 at 8:47 pm

St,

I agree it may be weird to watch these things – and i completely understand that bit. However i feel its unfair to say they are dependent etc etc. Trust me i have seen american men talk to their wives and mothers like they are worst than an acquaintance. The indian culture is a family first culture. They express love through a lot of avenues and trust me so far it has worked in favor of us. The west may have looked down upon us for it – however more and more research is supporting the indian way of making kids grow up. For instance – American men are 22 even among developed nations in math, 24th in science and geography and No 1 in over confidence (this is directly attributed to upbringing) – We are somewhere in between the all dominating chinese way and an all liberal west way of upbringing. I think our modest upbringing keeps us grounded yet infuses ambition and love and the importance of expressing that love.

Coolbogger – i think your comments from my side at least are completely ignored cause i feel this is a forum where we can have a sane – make our points discussion rather than curse each other. So i will give all your comments a pass – but on a different note are you german? i saw the “nicht” there. Ich spreche deutch aber nicht sehr gut :) – i did a bit of reading when i was in germany.

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coolblogger January 25, 2011 at 10:26 pm

@Rabbit
I didn’t mean to offend you. I wanted you to take it in lighter note. But your tone kinda struck me as a person who considers white women as trophy rather than a person and you went on defensive mode. And I dont agree with ur notion of “accepting love” as expression of love. But again everyone is entitled to their opinion.
No, I am not german and I dunno German as well. Nyet,Nicht,Nada – just expression :)

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coolblogger January 25, 2011 at 10:33 pm

And I dont agree with the statistics you had given here. Americans are more creative than Indians. Not just to blame the educational system or the population coupled with competition, but parental ties as well. I agree with NRN, that it is very easy to loose hope in India. But again no one wants to take risk, think different or question the book. Every parent carries plan for which they dont need to have, and they plan kids life in adulthood but not in their childhood. :)
When a graduate finishes his studies, he is given list of duties – right from sister’s marriage, payingoff debt taken by dad, and blah blah blah. He doesnt get any choice to decide for his future or decide what he wants to do.

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Mohit Gupta January 25, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Only loosers blame the system for their own incapabilities.If someone has talents , passion and vision anyone can succeed anywhere.

We have many examples.Biggest one is Mr Ambani and there are millions other.

“Americans are more creative than India”. Very generalised comment against Indians as usaual. There is nothing like “Citizens of A country are more creative than citizens of B”. One can be overwhelmed by success of Americans but should not loose common sense to forget the statics which clearly put Indian-Americans in UPPER CREST of American Society.And that status is obviously not got without creativity or talent.

Sister’s marriage , Dads debt dont hinder anyones path to success.Harbhajan Singh had seven sisters , Sehwag had big debt and Irfaan Pathan lived in a Mosque. I again say , Only loosers blame the system.

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surya January 26, 2011 at 10:20 pm

mohit,
happy independance day.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 3:58 am

Surya ,

Same to you.
But It was very unfortunate day as in J&K , wherever police saw men with Tri-color Indian flag they jumped to pull it from them and throw them in their police-van.

It was something only British-India have witnessed.

Three leaders of BJP were arrested in Jammu as they were going to hoist the flag in Srinagar.

Sad day ..!!

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Manny January 26, 2011 at 1:29 am

So what you are saying is, you are not creative, you are everything you describe Indians to be.

Maybe you are like that as an individual.. there is nothing in the water of India to make you what you have become?

;)

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coolblogger January 26, 2011 at 7:54 am

Listen to Obama’s speech today. Totally contrast to what you say about math and science and what he says about patents,entrepreneurs,inventors,etc, is all true.
No offense meant, but what Indians is have is all some dustcollecting puranas and epics which look for every oppurtunity to suppress and illtreat women :) Burning them to prove their virtue, marrying every spinster walking by ….yeah..

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Amit Desai January 26, 2011 at 9:00 am

You can compare India and U.S in terms of democratic values as both these countries are constitutionally democratic and may be compared for similarities (and differences). But if you are comparing India and U.S in terms of historical scriptures, then you are a logically disable person. The U.S didn’t exist 3000 years ago to have any epics or puranas that can be compared with India for greatness.

Compare Greek scriptures with Indian counterparts and show me where women were treated at par with men in ancient Greece, while suppressed in ancient India!

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St. January 26, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Hope you’re not blaming the U.S. for its relatively short history. That wouldn’t make sense.

The facts are, Indians are good at math, Americans need people good at math, so they outsource Indians. As a result, Indians come to the U.S. not to show off their acient knowledge, but to use/create brand new technologies. Little connection with history. Current global needs only. The same with Chinese. They don’t go to America to spread their culture but to work, sometimes very hard.

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coolblogger January 26, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Columbus mite have discovered America , but America was built by immigrants from all flavors of race. And only Indians are spreading their cunningness, manipulation, sobstories, blamegame,neoptism etc.,.
I didnt mean to insult the ancient history, what I wanted to insist is that for every discussion and every argument the only counterargument from any Indian men would be some quote from stoneage. Talk about levelling the playfield. If you really want to be proud about, accept the facts both negative and positive, do something in current era rather than spinning the same old wheel for everything :)

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Manny January 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

You must really hate your father!

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 9:15 pm

See ,

This out-of-the world girl is saying that ONLY INDIANS are cunning , manupulative neoptistic , etc , etc..

And what she talks about are just Gross-Generalisation against anything Indian.

Except one or two person , Nobody gives quote from stoneage(stupid girl , was paper inevented in stone age ?? )No wonder she dont even know what stoneage is..!!

Actually for her History of World started just when she arrived in US , and it will end there only.

Mostly all people here OPENLY accept that India have problems but she just cant see it.Because she is hell-bent on proving everything Indian wrong , shocking ,appalling , etc just because some of her personal experiences didnt go well.

And what the hell level playing is ?? US gained independence before 300 years.And India is just 61 years old.This is not level-playing.

She is just blid-worshipper of conutrymen of Uncle Sam and not open to anything good which belongs to India.

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Amit Desai January 27, 2011 at 3:36 pm

@ St., “…Indians come to the U.S. not to show off their acient knowledge, but to use/create brand new technologies. Little connection with history. Current global needs only….”

You think that Indians are there only to create/use technology due to the current global needs.

So, there is no “current global need” to be with an Indian, right? Why are you living with an Indian then?

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Coolblogger ,

Have you ever even SEEN any copy of VEDAS , PURANANS OR UPANISHAD??
You didnt thats why you blame them for illtreatment of woman in society.The facts is that ancient India treated its woman way better the any present country can think of (Todays India included).

Dont give examples of crime against women in present India to demonise Ancient Indian sciptures.Woman had very prominent and respected position and were supossed to be respected.

here are some examples..

YATRA NARIYASTU PUJYANTE , TATRA RAMANTE DEVTA means where women are respected , angel resides there.

and

“Matrivat pardareshu pardravyeshu loshthavat,
atamvat sarvabhuteshu , teh pashyat sah pandita”

means the one who respect other women as his mother , others money as scrap , consider othes people as himself, he is the real BRAHMIN or PANDIT.

Nobody , who dont respect women, wont write such things , so clearly Ancient India respected woman.

Regarding the suppression of woman it is only as bad or good in India as in America and I can present the Official Statistics to back it.

You like America and Americans thats fine.I like them too.But dont spread false propaganda about religious scriptures.

I have never seen such a person who is so ashamed of her roots and hates his country so much that can geralise to such an extent as every man here burn his bride. And still India’s population is growing .. Burnt bride are giving birth in Grave yards !!! hmmmm ???

Actually some people , without knowledge of long history of both the countries in question arrive in America and start comparing them.And Blame everything Indian without giving any consideration of the fact that its just 61 years since we got freedom and its been 300 years for America.Todays India is much advanced than what America was when it celebrated its 61st Independence day.

JISKO NA NIJ GAURAV TATHA NIJ DESH KA ABHIMAN HAI ,
WOH NAR NAHIN NAR-PASHU NIRA AUR MRITAK SAMAN HAI.”

get the translation of this from any American ,they are more willing to learn Hindi then Indians like you. ;)

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Mohit Gupta January 25, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Happy Independence Day

To all Indians who love and respect India and to those who are performing their duty abroad but still feel a connect with it.

To all citizens of world who respect the efforts India have put to be at where it is. From beeing a British Colony to an Independent Nation of great economical and political and prospects , who has 6th largest economy in the world.

To all who dont think of Independence as “Eating with own Hand”.

Anyway , India has got some problems , mostly because of proxy-monarchy of Gadhi clan and that is why Indians are beeing arrested and stopped from hoisting National Flag in India and precisely in Srinagar , Kashmir.

Either Give Kashmir to whomever or let them hoist flag there.

Jai Hind..!!!

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Rabbit January 25, 2011 at 8:52 pm

St,

I agree it may be weird to watch these things – and i completely understand that bit. However i feel its unfair to say they are dependent etc etc. Trust me i have seen american men talk to their wives and mothers like they are worst than an acquaintance. The indian culture is a family first culture. They express love through a lot of avenues and trust me so far it has worked in favor of us. The west may have looked down upon us for it – however more and more research is supporting the indian way of making kids grow up. For instance – American men are 22 even among developed nations in math, 24th in science and geography and No 1 in over confidence (this is directly attributed to upbringing) – We are somewhere in between the all dominating chinese way and an all liberal west way of upbringing. I think our modest upbringing keeps us grounded yet infuses ambition and love and the importance of expressing that love.

Coolbogger – i think your comments from my side at least are completely ignored cause i feel this is a forum where we can have a sane – make our points discussion rather than curse each other. So i will give all your comments a pass – but on a different note are you german? i saw the “nicht” there. Ich spreche deutch aber nicht sehr gut :) – i did a bit of reading when i was in germany.

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St. January 25, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Rabbit,

I agree that cultural misunderstanding leads to unfair judgement, but as I said, it is in human nature. If you look at it the other way round, it is also unfair to assume that all western kids are spoiled and not family-orinted.

I’m not saying that everything western is the best. And in the same way, I will not accept (like some people here claim) that everything that is Indian, needs to be the only proper way of doing things.

I agree on the fact that we are different, I don’t mind it. But I don’t respect rambles about someone’s superiority. Hope you see my point here.

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pmk prakram January 25, 2011 at 11:10 pm

sex sex sex every thing is ltru revolving around ! I am not defensive but just telling the simple truth !

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St. January 26, 2011 at 3:27 am

Too much porn? Come down to earth.

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Yeesh January 26, 2011 at 12:04 am

Your blog is really great. Keep it up. Just like u, I would like to know at what age do Indian men get fed till.

I am currently dating an Indian man/boy/little king and even though we live outside of India, he still has many expectations of how i should behave and what i should do/not do. I am still having difficulties understanding his expectations of me as a gf/future wife and it gets really really tough sometimes.

I love him to bits but honestly, the things he say sometimes can just be so hurtful. I too am an educated being and have my own thinking and opinions. Wish he wouldn’t just brush it aside. Did u also have such problems before marriage? If so, how did u deal with it?

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Sharell January 26, 2011 at 3:17 am

Hi Yeesh, welcome to the blog. :-) Thankfully, I have a really sweet guy who’s very easy going. He just lets me be myself and rarely complains. He’s not very opinionated at all. Hopefully, some others will be able to give you good advice. It sounds like he definitely needs to adjust a little and be more understanding of you.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Yeesh ,

Greeting.

Only if you can tell us what are the things he expect you to do then we can analyse the reason of it and the solution.

Even Indian girls complain of their boyfriend and husband like that.Similarily Indian guys also complain that their wife/gf are very posseisive , demanding , dominating , etc ,etc ..It is actaully beased on Individuality and not nationality.Many Indians , I know , give whole freedom to theri gf and expect nothing of her to do what he want.

I think , you should discuss it in details with your guy.And a little bit of adjustment will make things better.Its not as if he is trying to dominate you or anything.Its just he is conditioned to expect something from her girl out (our of culture and personal nature, both ) which is very Indian but you are taking it as intentional dominance, while he see it as her affectional protection.

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 12:33 am

St,

i see your point here completely. For now i am not saying we are better than the west. I am just defending the point that Indian men just cause they are hand fed are not really dependent. I am a classic example – i love my mother, dating a white girl, and have been a rocker all my life. I did do my engineering and MBA but not cause my mom wanted it – i just felt thats what i liked and did that. My mom infact never says anything to me of the likes of pressure and things like that. However she does get elated when i meet her lets say after a year and if i allow her to cook my childhood fav dish and also at times feed a few bites. It really does not mean much to me but to her, its like she is transported back in time when i was a lil kid and she was the mentor.

but your point taken – i dont think there is any right way or wrong way and we all must discuss these things more without any preconceived notions and also be ready to accept if we are wrong. I am not seeing that too much on this portal and both from us Indians and otherwise.

so wots your story like (if its not too personal?)

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St. January 26, 2011 at 3:36 am

Thanks, Rabbit. You are much more reliable than the whole bunch of braggers flying around this blog. I find it very valuable that you’re talking from your own experience of clash of cultures, instead of some theoretical blabber. It is also interesting to see hand feeding is understood by you.

You will find quite a few truths and legends about me on this blog already. I’m living in Germany, hang around many Indians (because of my job) and am in a relationship with an Indian guy (we met in the university).

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 3:47 am

Sweetie ,

The same thing I was trying to make you understand but you refused to accept .. Now you are talking sweet ..!!

Great Job Rabbit , well done ! ;) ;) Atlast she understood something about India

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St. January 26, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Don’t flatter yourself.

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Sweetheart ,

I am flattering Rabbit.

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St. January 26, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I think he doesn’t need your support, cutepie!

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Darling ,

I am not giving him any support but a person MUST be appreciated for a task done well.

This is what I like and learn about western ettiquettes.

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Sweetheart ,

I have a question for you.Serious.
Why OKT-FEST is celebrated in September ?

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St. January 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I don’t understand why you come up with questions that are only related to something other people have just said. Is that the creativity you were talking about?

It’s celebrated in September because after 2 litres of beer nobody cares what time of the year it is. For the rest, come and figure it out yourself.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Sweetie ,

Again , you are over-reacting. Do I have to creative to the extent of beeing crazy so that I ask question only about something which no one has talked about ?

Creativity and asking a geniune question about your culture are both different thing.You dont want to answer that is ok.

Question cant be created about a country.

Should I ask why “Merce dont fly” ? Is that a creative question. ;)

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 12:43 am

Coolblogger:

No problems we can start with a clean slate. I am not pushing statistics. They are all over media here in the US and they are by the US government (they show that before every movie in theater here) . there are also adds that portray ” i want to be geek and i am better” – to put america back on track with education and math and science because they are loosing to china and india

Infact emphasis on better parenting, disciplining and even small and important things like american women avoiding Brest feeding are expressed concerns by the US government – but like you said every country has its challenges, for us its poverty, population and several other factors like corruption, but fortunately parenting is not one of those. So again laying out an unbiased view.

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coolblogger January 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

You did your engineering, where did u do that? How many times original papers on virtualreality or fuzzylogic or anything is awarded over some copy material from Internet? How many people who cant do programming in lab get high scores in programming language papers? How many really had original projects in their final year? And you call them geeks?
Obama said, teach your kids that not the one who wins superbowl is winner but someone who wins science fair as well. Come on – how many competition in India for kids has works of kids? And how much emphasis is given on learning things for not only for exams?
Put a kid in some military recruit kinda facility for JEE in his 8th std and train him for 4 years where he is made to learn from morn 4 to nite 12 and ask him to take exam along with other potenial canditates- this is what you suggest for future generation?
And again he said “some countries who wants to lay roads can lay roads without any pbm and face no protest and no news about in newspapers , but how contagious and difficult democracy can be in US, not any citizen would trade places with any other nation – how much true – rite?
America – anything is possible. Working class -Joe Biden and person-who was working in dadz bar – John Boehner – can become speaker of house:) – One of kind State of the Union speech :)
But today almost all thro his speech he kinda sounded like he was under India’s spell :)

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Hahahaha ,

As if we are short of leaders so we have another one Mr Obama to listen to his views.Who has just lost by-election by great margins.

Only , incapable and jealous of entering IITs blame the entrance process.IIT is a brand.And everybody in India want to get in it.There is a test.And very fair one.If you have the guts.Clear it and show your mettle.Instead people start giving excuses like ” Oh its like military training , not innovative , etc etc.. ” hahaha ..as if Military is a bad Institution …

America na ho gaya sala swarga ho gaya , Obama na ho gaya bahgwan ho gaya … chato uski ..I dont care !!!

A joint Duke University – UC Berkeley study revealed that Indian immigrants have founded more engineering and technology companies from 1995 to 2005 than immigrants from the U.K., China, Taiwan and Japan combined. A University of California, Berkeley, study reported that one-third of the engineers in Silicon Valley are of Indian descent, while 7% of valley hi-tech firms are led by Indian CEOs.

Still Coolblogger say that Indians are less creative than Americans !! Fool.

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St. January 26, 2011 at 3:39 pm

What does professional achievement have to do with this creativity you’re talking about?

What is creative in competing to get a place at a research institution (where as you say there is a fair test for everyone)? We live in such times, when good science-oriented education opens many doors. You don’t need to be creative, just hardworking and focused. I’ve not seen a jobless engineer.

Nobody is underestimating Indian input in the recent scientific developments. But we all know, it’s due to hard work and many years of studies not “creativity” in its social sense.

Creative U.S citizen is the one who started as a beggar and ended up as CEO of some big company. Show me how many Indian ex-beggars run big companies. Creativity is about social change – in India such changes are close to non-existent. Once a low caste, always a low caste.

Don’t tell me that the majority of Indian engineers are from working class. Education in India is unreasonably expensive (as in the U.S.) and an upper-middle class Indian needs only brain and willingness to push his chances forward. The rest is provided for him. No creativity needed.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 6:03 am

Stephanie ,

Its difference of perception.For you creativity is different.For me its different.

For you creativity is in beeing a CEO after beein a begger.No doubt he is creative.
But for me all the persons who founded their company were also creative and risk-takers.Business is Creation.

But even a simple job of an engineer involves creativity.I use it many times.

But the one who Founded Hotmail , Mr Sabir Bhatia , an Indian software Engineer is also creative.

My first cousin Mr Akash Gupta founded a company AHA(Air Hostess Academy) in Delhi in 1997 with six student after quiting his job of Tourist Manager with his wife .And it was the first Institute of its own kind.He succeded.With in eight years his income rose from INR 10K/Month to INR 10 Million/Month and he was having branches in all big cities of India and two planned in Dubai and London.

Wont you call him creative ???

There are numerous such examples to prove that India is full of creative people.Your claim of non-existant creativity or social changes in India is just not factually correct.

Regarding the beggars !!! hahaha .. dear why do we have to be a begger first to become a CEO.?? We can start from anywhere ?

Ok. I am giving you an example of Mr Dhirubahi Ambani , who became India’s richest man from a small time worker in Yemen.

I can give more examples, but you have to be more open.

And please dont get me started on Caste-Evils and all ..its been enough of Caste and Sati-pratha- etc etc. and then

Prashanth will come and say ..We have to make a good name for Indians in the eyes of world even if it means beeing silent and tolerant for all the Caste-Crap whichh is thrown towards us.Thats just not me..!!

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St. January 27, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Two things, first:

American $ is not equal to Indian Rupee.
Its obvious that the cost of education will always be higher in the U.S. Think more of what can a not-really-rich Indian do with the Ruppees he has, in terms of his education. I agree that he can go to a less expensive school. But he might still need for example: additional tuition, monthly ticket, books, resources and that costs as well.

2:
Caste-crap, as you call it, is indeed crap. I’ve not seen any more effective society dividing and conflict creating invention than Indian case system.

I believe on a governmental level things are fine now, because democracy forces to empower all the people. And I know there are many important representatives and officials from all communities.

But go down the line to average citizens and try to tell me that caste does not decide upon your life. I’m sure you will never make friends with certain types of Indians because you trully believe they are lower in a hierarchy.

Saying that marriages are nowadays in majority inter-caste is a total crap. Only yesterday I had a chance to hear a discussion in my office of two Indian guys. One of them (PhD!) was claiming that he can only marry a Brahmin (he himself is a Brahmin) because quote “everything else is lower than him and it doesn’t suit his family to be seen as a descending power”.

If an educated person can say something as stupid as this, I don’t even want to imagine what people with anything below high school diploma will think about their own caste-position.

India is a colorful country, but its societal practices are pretty on the dark side.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Stepahnie ,

Seriously , you knowledge about India is very misguided and virtual.

I know that US $ is not equal to INR.But then you have to compare cost of education on some common parameters.You suggest , which one you would like to USE. Gold Prices or PPP(Purchasing Power Parity).

Whatever standards you take the cost of Education in India shall always be atleast 10 times CHEAPER than US.

Dont argue just for the sake of it.If you have wrong knowledge about India its better to get it correct than beeing adamant.

OK. You dont believe me then you can consult some other Indians in this blog.

Caste was not a “Dividing tool” but an intergration social mechanism. I again say you have to come to India how it worked in ancient India , though it is beeing used for political gains now.

If you want me to quote something bigger and more conflicting sytems , then (Pardon me , Prashanth ) I have to mention notion of SUPERIOR RACE and following conflict and Mass Murders of sections of society in Germany and Slavery Tradition in North America. Its better we dont discuss it as it will have no endings.

“I’m sure you will never make friends with certain types of Indians because you trully believe they are lower in a hierarchy. ”

ARE YOU JUST CRAZY ? You are typing anything which comes to your mind. Talk some sense yaar.How can you pass a judegment about me.??? Its stupidity..!!

I have friends from all walk of life they are Hindus/Muslim/Christian and from upper caste and from back-ward caste and from Scheduled caste and even dalits.

Should I give you names of All my friends and their number so their your gross misunderstadings can be corrected.

OH MY GOD ..!!! You are seriously knowing an India which really DONT EXIST.

Regarding marriage , I myself have said , that caste come in to play only when its a matter of marriage but not an issue while in school , offices , workplace , playground etc..

Yaar , we dont have separate schools of Brahmin and Shudra
We dont have separate offices for Brahmin and Shudra
We dont have separate Temples for Branhmin and Shudra
We dont have separate colonies for BRAHMINS and SHUDRA

And regarding that PHD person , I can only say he is totally stupid and ingnorant. Knowlege is irrelevant if he is not having wisdom to use it.

For such people , there is a very good saying in English.

“To know that Tomato is a fruit is KNOWLEDGE but not to put it in Fruit-Salad is WISDOM.”

I hope you tell him that Mohit is upset with you because for all his own narrow-mindedness he is infact negating all the progress India is witnessing back-home. ;)

India is colorfull country all because of its societal practice(Excluding some social evils).

Its how we see it . ;) Hehehehehe..!!!

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Amit Desai January 27, 2011 at 3:49 pm

@ St, “…Once a low caste, always a low caste…”

Half-truth often used to intensify the “anti-India” campaign.

@ St., “…Education in India is unreasonably expensive (as in the U.S.)…”

A fallacy. One can study in government school/college for as low as 400 Rs (10 U.S $) per year/semester.

It’s the private schools/colleges that are expensive.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Amit,

She really dont dont anything about real India.That why I invite her to come over here atleast once. ;)

India have central universities like AMU , BHU , JNU and many goverment Engg College in which total tution for for four Years is around 6000-10,000 INR(=US $ 200 ).

I got one of the best schooling in Just INR 6,000-12,000 per annum including Boarding and Lodging. And mind it , it was not a goverment college. It was a Private School with Hostel facility and used to give meals in a day for not two , not three but FIVE TIMES A DAY.

Compare with this following fee structure in US.

Private Institutions (High Cost) $ 25,000
Private Institutions (Low Cost) $ 15,000
State Institutions (High Cost) $ 20,000
State Institutions (Low Cost) $ 10,000

US $ 200(India) against US $ 10,000(In US).

So , goin by the facts we can say that Education in US is 50 time (YES 50 TIMES ) more expensive than India, going by the nominal values of currency.

Whenever Stephanie say something about India , I wonder , why its always so wrong.And when someone corrects her or confronts her with proved and established fact and datas, she takes shelter under the argument that “this forum is anti-west”, when it is NOT.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Amit ,

Infact we have more strong counter-statement.

“Once a Black , Always a Black” That is more rigid and strict. ;)
Now they will come up and say”See Obama , a black , is our president”

Then I will say , No Problem ” We have had out “Low-Caste” president Mr K.R.Narayanan way back in 1997 ,when US didnt even think of Black president.

We have had DALIT chielf mininster in Mayawati in 1995 and she is still Chief-Minister of Uttar Pradesh, biggest state in India.

All talk of caste-evils in Indis are always exaggerated.India is the only country where ,there is reservation at such a large scale for the Lower Caste/Schedule Caste. Around 50% of all the seats in goverment offices and colleges are reserved for low-caste.It means Indians are geniunely working for the upliftment of the society.

Some rarest of rare incident ifn farthest rural area are exaggerated to such an extent in foreign media , people start believing that cast-discrimination is the character of society and is common in even metropolitan areas.THIS IS FALSE.Nobody even bothers about the caste of their friends , colleagues in social gathering.Its only when marriage is talked about , people, specially of older genration show their affilaition and affinity to their caste.

How many people in western countries know that even much-debated and hate “arrange marriages” are being done between different caste???

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Manny January 27, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Ambani was almost a beggar when he started…he then went on to become one of the top most industrialist of India. Duh!

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Coolblogger,

oops your questions again – here you go and this time all proven responses… :) – i also suggest tat you give points rather than rhetoric as it will help a more mature discussion.

way back in my engineering i used a refrigeration cycle and converted into a heat recovery unit (for laymen: a refrigerator + a heater / oven) . i sold several units but villages could not afford it so gave some free and finally let go. Won and award and highest project rank in my state.

Also you have to shake up your world sir/mam… innovation is not just products…. India is way ahead than US or Europe in SDLC, PLM, Services Innovation, BPO, GDC – Global Development Centers, Proactive Monitoring, Infrastructure in IT and Telecom and Engineering Services (second to China) – You will be surprised – US / Europe is a laggard in all of these and uses either China, India or Japan. ALso a classic example is when all banks across world failed the indian banking industry withstood the test of times.
Do your research. Also most awards won in US / Europe these days are either by Indians or Chinese. Again not criticizing things but its a fact.

i think this fight / argument is something you should take it with your government and not with us cause they openly acknowledge the same. Obama came looking for help to India in 2010 – not to help india… i suggest its time the egos get shaken up, the truth be accepted and lets all work towards a better world than this ignorance. The level has reached so much that most well known surgeons in US are Indians..

The success of the 40′s by the west and the success of weaponry is the only thing west can count on today.

also as far as products – give India some time.. its just 60 odd years of independence and we are already neck to neck and in pockets already ahead :)

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Rabbit ,

Well said.

On a side note , I think you consider coolblogger an American but she is an Indian woman working in US.

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coolblogger January 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm

You talk about rhetoric? Whtever u claim as success in BPO or IT or GDCs- it is because of cheap labor.Bite the bullet. And just like politiicans u r claiming the success of Indians in foreign nation as your own and economy boost with tax money from IT people as nation’s boost. How welcoming are you for the inventors and entrepreneurs in your homecountry?Why guys are ready to build shrine for Kalpana Chawla or Sunita Williams but not ready to improve ISRO or budding engineers?
Indian’s success or ther percentage in top fortune companies or innovations by them isnt success of India or Indians. They had taken asylum in other country when their motherland had givenup on them or ill treated them.
Personally I dont beleive in magic – all dumb and poor parents expecting their children be a prodigy and have his own career without any help from them , school or government and even if someone breaks all roadblocks and comesup expect him to spend his life and future on you . Fairness??!! How many Indian parents are ready to accept their kid for themselves without comparing him with neighbour. They dont make any attempt from their side, but magically expect him to break financial barriers and come up in life.
How many guys are allowed to pursue their dream ? Every parent want their kid to become a doctor or engineer – nothing else, are we still in stoneage where only jobs in world could be “hunter” or “gatherer”? How many atheletes had to forsake their interest and talent due to pressure from all directions in their school days?
As from Rich dad poor dad – If you are born poor it is not your fault , if your son is born poor it is definitely your fault.

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Manny January 26, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Don’t you have your own blog to spew your crap? Do you have to use Sharell’s blog to come and take a dump as well?

Sheesh!

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm

1. Not only cheap Labour but Quality of services.American companies wont compromise on Quality.And giving qaulity service in cheap prices is a part of competetin.Here Indian excels in their European Counterparts. INDIA WIN

2.If you can give bs statement that “Americans are more creative then Indians then one has to give Examaples of Indians who are successfull and creative , wherever they are(you excluded).

3.If you have the guts, come too India , it has as much as scope for Enterpreneurs as in America or Europe.But one should have spine of steel to excel.Your uncle OBAMA came in nov and gone with employment of 55,000 of your DEAR , POOR , AMERCIAN , BROTHERS.

4.Goverment dont make Shrine for Kalpana Chawla or anything but they have some relatives here and they are proud of their success whereever they were.

5. Who says ISRO is not improving.We are the one of the top five Space organisation.This year India has launched 11 satellites, including nine from other countries—and it became the first nation to launch satellites on one rocket.India became the fourth Nation after US, Russia and Japan to send a moon mission.Taking into consideration its budget, it is among the most efficient space organizations on the globe.

6. And quality of Enginner coming out of India was not good US/UK/Europe companies wouldnt have beeen hiring them or outsoursing the work to India even for free.Talk some sense.

7.Indians success in US companies in not of Indians?Then ? its of Chinese ? I mean you have closed door and have a one-point agenda and you suffer from heavy insecurity.You are not ready to given for any success or Hardwork to Indians and India.You are just sick.

8.ASYLUM ? Lady what has happened to you? there is difference between Immigration and Asylum:

“Asylum is an ancient juridical notion, under which a person persecuted for political opinions or religious beliefs in his or her own country may be protected by another sovereign authority, a foreign country”.

I think , No one on this blog , who live in a foreign country is so sick of his/her country or ill-treated as you are saying.They just peacefully and leagally migrated , just because of GOOD EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY and in a capitalist world it is fine.

9. Calling Indian parent DUMB and POOR wont make you an Einstein but you are definitely showing your spoiled character and have not really learned anything from the country of your current residence.Parents all over the world compare their kids with others and this is age of competetion.Sometime it is overboard.But it doesnt mean you abuse them like this.

10. Why the hell are you saying same word again and again .”STONE AGE” did you American manager just uttered this and you picked it up as weapon to malign India. Not all parents want their kids to become Doctors and Engineers.You are practically and completely wrong.

If your assumpeion were correct they how I see so many LAWYERS, ARMYMEN , TEACHERS , PLUBERS, DRIVERS, COOKS , CHEFS , MANAGERS , JOURNALIST , ENVIRONMENTALIST , PHOTOGRAPHERS , SPORTPERSONS , ETC ETC…in Numbers….!!! Did they came from America or central Asia or Mars or Moon or Pandaora …

And wanting their son to become an engineer make they come from STONE AGE ? I didnt heard if degree of B.Tech and MBBS were given in stone-age. Talk some sense lady.

11. The person who wrote “RICH DAD POOR DAD” was far more realistic and practical than you.Dont insult him by quoting him in a post which is irrational and full of negative generalisation against India.

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 10:01 pm

1. Not only cheap Labour but Quality of services.American companies wont compromise on Quality.And giving qaulity service in cheap prices is a part of competetion.Here Indians excels better than their European Counterparts.

2.If you can give bs statement that “Americans are more creative then Indians then one has to give Examaples of Indians who are successfull and creative , wherever they are(you excluded).

3.If you have the guts, come too India , it has as much as scope for Enterpreneurs as in America or Europe.But one should have spine of steel to excel.Your uncle OBAMA came in nov and gone with employment of 55,000 of your DEAR , POOR , AMERCIAN , BROTHERS.

4.Goverment dont make Shrine for Kalpana Chawla or anything but they have some relatives here and they are proud of their success whereever they were.

5. Who says ISRO is not improving.We are the one of the top five Space organisation.This year India has launched 11 satellites, including nine from other countries—and it became the first nation to launch satellites on one rocket.India became the fourth Nation after US, Russia and Japan to send a moon mission.Taking into consideration its budget, it is among the most efficient space organizations on the globe.

6. And quality of Enginner coming out of India was not good US/UK/Europe companies wouldnt have beeen hiring them or outsoursing the work to India even for free.Talk some sense.

7.Indians success in US companies in not of Indians?Then ? its of Chinese ? I mean you have closed door and have a one-point agenda and you suffer from heavy insecurity.You are not ready to given for any success or Hardwork to Indians and India.You are just sick.

8.ASYLUM ? Lady what has happened to you? there is difference between Immigration and Asylum:

“Asylum is an ancient juridical notion, under which a person persecuted for political opinions or religious beliefs in his or her own country may be protected by another sovereign authority, a foreign country”.

I think , No one on this blog , who live in a foreign country is so sick of his/her country or ill-treated as you are saying.They just peacefully and leagally migrated , just because of GOOD EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY and in a capitalist world it is fine.

9. Calling Indian parent DUMB and POOR wont make you an Einstein but you are definitely showing your spoiled character and have not really learned anything from the country of your current residence.Parents all over the world compare their kids with others and this is age of competetion.Sometime it is overboard.But it doesnt mean you abuse them like this.

10. Why the hell are you saying same word again and again .”STONE AGE” did you American manager just uttered this and you picked it up as weapon to malign India. Not all parents want their kids to become Doctors and Engineers.You are practically and completely wrong.

If your assumpeion were correct they how I see so many LAWYERS, ARMYMEN , TEACHERS , PLUBERS, DRIVERS, COOKS , CHEFS , MANAGERS , JOURNALIST , ENVIRONMENTALIST , PHOTOGRAPHERS , SPORTPERSONS , ETC ETC…in Numbers….!!! Did they came from America or central Asia or Mars or Moon or Pandaora …

And wanting their son to become an engineer make they come from STONE AGE ? I didnt heard if degree of B.Tech and MBBS were given in stone-age. Talk some sense lady.

11. The person who wrote “RICH DAD POOR DAD” was far more realistic and practical than you.Dont insult him by quoting him in a post which is irrational and full of negative generalisation against India.

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 3:31 pm

St,

thanks for the good words. Hope all turns out well for you… Life is a ride. Its good to know you are dating an Indian. I personally think dating itself is a challenge these days- across any culture. We are all so much more knowledgeable, less patient and so much more inquisitive that sometime its great and sometimes its miserable.

on a separate note i am fond of Germany. did a lil bit of german in school days and traveled a lil. Life is an Oct Fest… Drink it up girl… as far as relationships they may or may not work – but will always teach us something… sometimes good / sometimes bad :)

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St. January 26, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Life is a lesson in itself Rabbit. Any relationship teaches us something new, intercultural one does that with double force. ;)

Btw, I don’t know if you can still call it dating… we’re living together for 5 years and not really planning on any change in that department.

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Amit Desai January 26, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Holy grave, The man who tolerated you for 5 yrs must have gone through a lot. my sympathies are with your man.

:-P

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St. January 26, 2011 at 9:28 pm

You really must be jealous/self unfulfilled, considering how much attention you pay to the posts where I reveal some personal story.

Keep on trying. You still sound desperate and miserable.

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Mohit Gupta January 26, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Why would he be jealous ?

He is dating a more beautifull white girl than you.Sweetie. ;)

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surya January 26, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Stefani certainly deserves some slack here, now that we know she is living with an indian. she is expected to have some personal issues india centric. shifting gears and becoming good listeners is the right move for the diaspora. Not that she wants to or we want her to, but then she should feel comfortable enough to open up here.
There is a thin line between patriotism and jingoism, that applies uniformly to all- indians, germans and americans.A day will come the borders wil get blurred; I must say the international unions will help expedite reaching that seemingly impossible goal.I must complement that Europe is already making rapid progress on those lines.

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St. January 26, 2011 at 11:16 pm

I suggest a visit. To a shrink. Probably American one.

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St. January 26, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Hahahhaa!

Listen to yourself, seriously. Oh now you know not only how I look but also some Amit’s imaginary manipulation-born chick?

Mental health problem?
You really have nothing better to say.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 1:42 am

Stephanie ,

I know beacuse Amit is dating some ex Miss Germany. ;) and you are not. So its obvious she is more beautifull than you and smart also. :) :) :)

Oh ! Mental Health .. but I know that It were Germans and specifically Bavarians who were celebrating henious murder of 12 million people in Europe. ;) its very obvious who was having mental health problems and who is still carrying the after-effect of that disaster.. ;)

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 2:52 am

@Mohit

Stop spilling that shit onto this blog and repeatedly coming up with Hitler and Holocaust stuff. Do you really have to bring that topic now? It is a very sensitive and controversial topic here..Also be careful when you travel in Europe…If you bring this topic, you will probably pay heavily for that…Also, you will probably get to know about what others feel about you.

Also, when you post, think twice….Hitler is not a Bavarian…He was born in present day Austria! Some of your posts are good and you might be having good knowledge of Hindi, but don’t try to act like a smart @rse, by displaying your incorrect knowledge of other countries/culture and coming up with your own theories/facts. Peace, bro! :P

@St.

You don’t sound like a typical German..I’m happy about that, but don’t get easily provoked for petty stuff, that is addressed to you and come back provoking the guy, who addressed you!

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 3:30 am

Prashanth

Bade bhaiya ,

You dont let go of any opportunity to scold me. Do you ? ;)

I know its a sensitive issue.Reality is always sensitive.A crazy guy with whole country behind him ,butchered humans including woman and Childern like cattles.And when I point that out then you blame me.

Some guys shamelessly repeat “Indian Caste System” and “Sati Pratha” as the biggest evil without showing any signs of sensitivity. But when I mentioned the biggest crime of human history then your sensitivites are hurt as if I have done wrong and not NAZIs.

Its not relevant if Hitler was born in Austria or Agra.What relevant is what he did.

And did I say that Hitler was Bavarian? I just said Bavarians supported this act.

Pakistan’s President Gen Parvej Mussharaf was born in New-Delhi. Does it abslove him of all the crimes he did against India. ???

My mentioning of that is not to suggest that present-days germans are like that but obly to counter the accusation that Indian society was this and this and this..

By the way , when will you advise something to stephanie to behave.Where is BIG B now ?? ;)

And I just have only knowledge of Hindi ? ;( :( :( I thought I was smart arse.I or anyone here is not a proffesional Historian.We all gather our facts from Internet or wikipedia.So when source of our information is SAME then how can I be wrong and you right ??

And yes , I am not that stupid that I will discuss HOLOCAUST with germans on my honeymoon.We Indians know how to be manupulative in foreign country.I will behave like an smart act lest OMISCIENT and OMNIPOTENT Europeans put me behind bars for spreading Fascism just because I wear a locket of SWASTIKA. ;)

Peace bro ..!!

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 4:05 am

@Mohit

I was not trying to justify what Hitler and his troupe did. I was wondering if it is really necessary to bring this topic, when you both are having a lighter, teasing conversation.
————
“By the way , when will you advise something to stephanie to behave.Where is BIG B now ??”

I already wrote something addressed to her, in the same reply, but in a softer way, as communication between people of different cultures/countries is often misunderstood. So, I took you for a ride! :P

As a fellow Indian, I can understand that you are being naive, but for others you are a right-winger…and probably bring bad reputation for other Indians, who are tolerant and can understand other cultures.
——-
“We Indians know how to be manupulative in foreign country.”

Many Indians like you, think that they are smart @rse’s, which is utterly wrong…Indeed, others can manipulate you, easily! Anyways, ‘Good Luck’ for your Europe trip..where you will probably realize that you get more respect in Germany, than in Italy!

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 4:52 am

Prashanth ,

Why do you take everything so seriously ??As if I am really going to go on a manipulation spree in Europe.

That was sarcastic in tone.You know I follow all rules even in India.So, you can expect me to behave in foreign countries.

I pay my taxes and bill on time.NEVER jump a red signal and wait for the green even when its 5 AM or 11 Pm and no vehicle is around. I never break a que. I talk to people politely and more so with persons of lower socio-economic status.

I dont give in to a corrupt police officer.I have had three encounters with police in last twoo month and at every ocassion I offered them to challan me for irrelevant charges.But they let me go as that wouldnt go in their pocket and was interested in Hard-Cash. Hard luck to them ..!!! Good citizen I am..!!

So , if I am so law-abiding citizen in India which doesnt push too much for application of rules.I will definitely behave better in foreign countries with more public-civic understanding. :) :)

Unfortunately my trip exclused Germany so I wont be able to compare Italy and Germany but seriously I care a damn about someone giving me respect or not.I just bother only if someone is crossing the line of decency.If they do.they will get best out of me, even in Europe, I really dont care.I know how things can work your way if YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT.

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 5:11 am

@Mohit

“Why do you take everything so seriously ??As if I am really going to go on a manipulation spree in Europe.”

I’m not being serious, but I’m trying to make a good impression of Indians. Behaving responsibly and working good, I already made enough Germans impressed with Indian culture/technology. Also, there are probably hundreds of other users watching you and me here. So, when you keep flooding the forum with your inane comments, they readily make an impression that we are not so mature or open-minded. I don’t need anyone’s support, but being tolerant and keeping your behavior in check, is always a good trait.
————-
“Unfortunately my trip exclused Germany so I wont be able to compare Italy and Germany”

True, but you are going to German speaking part of Switzerland…and it is not much different from Germany.
——————
“I know how things can work your way if YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT.”

I traveled alone to different countries and did all kinds of things….Also, walked all alone in narrow, dark alleys…So, you don’t have to teach me how to handle different set of people!

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 5:30 am

Peashanth

““I know how things can work your way if YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT.”

I traveled alone to different countries and did all kinds of things….Also, walked all alone in narrow, dark alleys…So, you don’t have to teach me how to handle different set of people!

———————————————————

I am not teaching you anything.I am just speaking for myself that I know how to handle things.

I also know from what you wrote that you are much more travelled than me in various countries.

Have you done sky-diving ever ?

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 5:58 am

“Have you done sky-diving ever ?”

@Mohit

I know why you are asking. You can do that in Switzerland, but you are going there in February (peak winter). So, you can’t do that! But it’s your honeymoon…So, I think you made a right decision, as it’s cozy and romantic (You better take good number of Viagra pills…HAHA :P). Also, it is less touristic. So, you get better service and also cheaper rates. If I was you, I would stay closer to Interlaken (around the lake – specially in winter, as there are very few tourists). It’s also nice to walk around those 2 huge lakes. If you want to see Lucerne, you can take a short train ride from there.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Prashanth ,

Viagra ??? hahahaha…

Dont you think its for for people who are either old or have erectile dysfunction. ? I am none of them. :)

Beacuse I believe in DESI things like Almonds and Chyawanprash and not to forget SHILAJEET. ;) or you can try “SANDE KA OIL”.

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Amit Desai January 27, 2011 at 3:16 am

Stefanie,

You said you’re 25 female from Germany who is in a relationship with an Indian for last 5 years. It means you started dating your Indian man when you were 20, right!

I guess you lost your mind at a pretty young age or you are losing you mind now!
:-P

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St. January 27, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Again, I’m “impressed” with your ability to count from 1 to 5.
Well done!

I see you still can’t get over the fact, that I live with an Indian (and that for 5 years) without him needing to manipulate anyone or pretend anything.

Jealousy is indeed a funny thing to watch.

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Coolblogger:

“0″ was discovered in India. The basic principle / fuel / or knowledge on which all innovation is based on. It was taught by indians to the white when they were breaking heads in the cave. (similarly whites also taught us a lot of things) – i always give unbiased views

also i work for an Indian company and my firm fuels innovation that helps India. I cannot disclose all details here for obvious reason. But again i head their business in south east US and more from BD side

Being low cost is not bad – look at it this way – americans were stealing more wealth from their own people for work that India / China and Japan can do it at a better cost. (Toyota did that with their cars – factpry model was an incidental innovation trying to reduce manf cost, so was kaizen and 6 sigma – all incidental innovations when cost was being reduced)

if you are an indian – why so much hatred??? But anyways i will leave that to you.

if you remember the movie 3 idiots – there was a simple example of scientist spending millions of dollars for a pen that could work in space – like he said they cld have just used a pencil… ;) So lets keep it simple and do the right kind of innovation

lastly innovation is a culture and indians are risk averse – they are not less intelligent – they are just risk averse.

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coolblogger January 26, 2011 at 10:51 pm

I agree with you 100% on the risk-averse. Every1 wants to follow the herd and want everything done easy way. Thtz wht translates to major pbms, bribery,plagirism,lack of creativeness etc.,
O- is this what you could come up for counter argument? Even if divide by zero is solved you wanna play the same tune. This is wht I am talking about. :)
It is like , ” I may have 20 arrears today , but I scored first rank in my school during my kindergarden days when the guy who scored 0 in maths may be working in NASA today”.
For the record – I love my dad and to me he is a perfect gentleman and rolemodel and I am thankful for him for everything I am. I like republicans better than democrats though I am not political.I dont INDIA or INDIANS,- I may just hate the cliche set by those and adamancy to acknowledge the flaws and pushing every1 under the sun to follow that age-old obsolete ideas.
And as far Chetan Bhagat – if he hadnt been an IIT,IIM guy I dont guess he would have sold so many books. We have shrunken our mindset for heroworship.
And this pencil story I remember hearing it as america-russia and somehow it go plagiarised to hero of Indian-hindi movie.
:)

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 10:38 pm

St,

to me living in is a marriage – just without some paperwork ;) . I am living in too. Toast on that! :)

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St. January 26, 2011 at 11:21 pm

:) I Totally agree.

You’re like a fresh breeze this blog community desperately needs.

Just wait and see how moraly “superior” ones try to lynch you for that by commenting below.

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Coolblogger:

one more point i missed: Nowhere you are saying indians are less intelligent or less innovative – you are blaming the system – and the system is you and me. We are getting what we want.

Your arguments are like – Americans are in general obese cause there are Mc Donalds here… well there are mc donalds cause you want them there… you need them there….

the system is you and me… lets try and change… no point pointing fingers.

also american education system is all screwed up for schools and under grads – its awesome only for post grads and you will be surprised how many of these professors are actually non Americans.

again 3 idiots is a classic example… lets change the system no ones stopping us from learning anything… no one…

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Rabbit January 26, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Coolblogger: all newton really discovered was law of universal gravitation and everything else every other discovery was there on – you think thats a waste? or its like the school kid example you pointed out. Ponder on the significance of Zero – just for a few more seconds. If you are a quarter as intelligent as your blogs (and i think you are quite impressive) you will realize what i am saying.

an abstract form an article:

“A cycle that runs on water and land, a scooter-powered flour mill, a solar mosquito killer, a cycle-powered washing machine — these are just a few of the over 100,000 outstanding innovations that have come from school dropouts and poor people from rural India.

Although some of the innovations, like the powered-flour mill made a debut – a good majority of these brilliant ideas and products are yet to be recognized and made commercial

Thanks to the relentless efforts of the National Innovation Foundation, under the guidance of Professor Anil K Gupta, these innovations are changing the stereotype perceptions of rural India, which is a picture of poverty and degradation.”

we have a long way to go… but at least we are going up – help us move up… being bitter will either leave you behind or … leave you behind :)

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coolblogger January 27, 2011 at 12:10 am

let me thnk first for the compliments. I am not undermining the zero invention. You arent reading me rite. We are dwelling on past all time screaming loud to acknowledge something done by our forefathers instead of following the path and add more things to it. Scientist invent, it is job of engineers to use the formula and morph and multiply it , thatz y we say “engineers make the world”. We arent doing tht. Say if americans keep screaming about internet everyday and stop making any changes to it. :)
One more thing I would like to contradict with you. I dont feel american education in school level is flawed. It is short and precise and teaches little and lets the kid explore more unlike Indian educational system where you are made to read a lot which maynt be practical at all. Bill Gates was 13 when he tried tic-tac-toe program. I dont remember his cool quotes in “Road ahead” . Again “Wings of fire” as well. I need to dust those. My favorites.
If any idea or innovation is born in an Indian mind, it needs foreign nation to be watered and nurtured. And if u dont carry a degree u r worth a dime in India.

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 2:33 am

@Coolblogger

I’ve been holding myself back from replying to your repeated questioning of why some of us are posting something which happened ages back (like the invention of Zero, etc), but now I feel like I’ve some patience (just saw Obama’s State of the Union and got some inspiration and energy, to post some shit…haha) to answer why I posted something related to India’s history. I’m only justifying myself and others who posted information, without any nationalistic overtones/undertones. Here I go:

1) First off, India has an age old history, which many people know nothing of ..or just ignorant. So, it is important in reminding ‘em of our history, which might also help in getting rid of inferiority complex’. Also, to prove that intelligence or IQ quotient is not related to climatic or tropical conditions and people with brown/dark skin are also intelligent. Indeed, it’s not related to color or any other external factor, that is much talked about.

2) You see most of these comments related to history, coming from people living outside India. Why?…Because they know that India/Indians are treated like shit, in much of the western world..and not given enough respect/importance…So, it is also important to show that we played an important role in history and development of the world. Of course, as you say, it’s not important to dwell in past, but also work hard, for the future…which we are indeed doing. I, for one, am not inferior to anyone and treat everyone with equal respect.

3) Many of the people in India don’t have proper access to information..or just don’t know how to access that. So, it is sometimes important to post some historical shit, to inspire ‘em and make ‘em knowledgeable…and invent some shit! :P

Finally, it is important to be responsible and try your best in posting correct information, as it is accessible to any person, in the world, who has a box with internet connection. It is also important for the person reading it, to interpret it correctly. So, you have to try your best, in posting this, without creating any nationalism and undermining other people/culture. After living and traveling in other countries, I consider myself a world citizen, but I’m connected to my home (India) and relate to that. That’s one of the reasons why I post that, to make my home, a better place, than it is now! Finally, there’s only 1 race and that is human race. Salute! :P

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coolblogger January 27, 2011 at 3:10 am

@Prashanth
-I agree with your views and let me share my response. The typical response from Indians as far I have noted is personal attacks or spreading some rumors or name-calling or swearing in native language or teasing and poking. Really?
1. So, enlightening someone with past I am not sure how it is going to help us unless they talk about your nation. I dont mind sharing but it looks like that’s all we have and nothing else. If someone is blaming ur capability with your nationality -jokes are on them, hit a block button :) But I agree with the reasoning.
2. I dont think so. I cant vouch for all countries. Middleeast -ofcourse. But practically , Indians are treated better as an indiviual for himself in western countries better than India. During Australia racist attacks, when I read “Look at the data. Indians are safer in this country than they are in their own country,” from Simon, I felt really bad and was quite enraged. But itz te fact. Only in India, every achievement and failure is tagged with familyname, community, caste, state, language and everything else other than the indiviual.
3.Funny and I agree :)
And I am not trying to paint a bad picture about India, I am just sharing my view which alltime contradicts. I really feel bad when I read posts like, “dont post bad about India”,”go back to your country”, “you know nothing ” , “publicity stunt”, and swearing and namecalling and take up job of blog police :)
Very few people with neutral occasional show up and if they are gals – come on.. And at this range – we would be left with nothing but old epics and puranas alone. :(

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 3:38 am

@Coolblogger

True, but you don’t have to be so skeptical/critical/pessimistic of India. India, sometimes feels really incredible and is a mix of everything. As someone said, you can see the most horrible thing and the most happiest thing, side by side, in India. You are probably affected by something that happened to you, for which you can blame your folks, but painting all of us Indians, with the same brush?!?!…Think about it! :)

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coolblogger January 27, 2011 at 3:55 am

@Prashanth
And thnx for lessons on how to think and what to post :)
Some choose to ignore and accept atrocities and I dont thatz te difference and I’ll make the call about me whether I am pessimistic or about my troubled past(?!).

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Amit Desai January 27, 2011 at 4:29 am

No prashanth, there is another (better) race, it’s formula1.

@ coolblogger,

You have to snap out of your weird nostagia and stop thinking about Indians or going to India, seriously! Becasue nothing’s not going to change easily. You don’t seem to understand simple facts about cultures. A country like India (or China or Greece) carry a huge baggage of “old wisdom” for thousands of years. Your “new wisdom” (of American ideals) would not work in India so readily. Isn’t copying of foreign ideals “plagiarism” too? Why are you hell bent on changing Indians and trying to make them what you think they should be? Start changing your self first. Learn to lead people if you really want to change them!

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 4:33 am

“No prashanth, there is another (better) race, it’s formula1.”

@Amit

I know about that race, as I’ve been to Monte Carlo F1 Race.

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 4:59 am

Prashanth ,

And I even dont have to go to Monte Carlo.This year in October , In Greater Noida , India’s First F1 track is coming up with first F1 Race for Indian circuit. So exciting ..!!! : )

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prashanth January 27, 2011 at 5:17 am

@Mohit

Yes, but Monte Carlo is something different..All the ‘French Riviera’ coast (Nice, Antibes, Cannes, St.Tropez, etc) is good and the typical Southern French villages are cosy.

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Rabbit January 27, 2011 at 12:30 am

Coolblogger:

i will share an abstract below and also share the link (i dint write it and there are many such links): My point is problems are everywhere and even in america and even more than in India.

“The modern American educational system is filled with an assortment of problems. Many students are not learning much at all. Most students are graduating with less knowledge and capability than similar students in other industrialized countries. Classroom disruptions are surprisingly common, and in some Classrooms, nearly continuous. School violence is rampant, including the many violent incidents we all hear about in the news. Even violence and other incidents on school buses is a tremendous problem”

Link: http://mb-soft.com/public/school.html

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Rabbit January 27, 2011 at 12:32 am

St,

will i get beaten up bad… i have an helmet on already… :)
Na i don think i will get bashed… how about a bet… if i lose i buy you a “pseudo” vodka (?) and if you lose – you buy me a pseudo “Scotch”

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St. January 27, 2011 at 1:04 am

You’re kinda right, since you’re an Indian, they will assume your lifestyle is only temporary and try to bring you back to the “only proper track”.

And because this commenting forum is mostly “anti-western” you’re not into that critical situation :)

Bet accepted.

Just don’t be too polite to people only to win :)

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 2:03 am

Stephanie ,

This forum is not anti-western.But since you made a big issue of Hand-feeding it has become Anti-Indian.And coolblogger is definitely giving you good support.

Now the problem is that when we defend or correct you on something , you think its anti-western.Thats not correct.Thats very natural to defend something which belongs to the group of people or region , we are connected.

No-one is going to bash Rabbit for a live-in relation.India is not what mostly its is portryaed in western media.Similarily US/UK/Europe is not what its portrayed in Indian media.

For examples , Indian law has been passed to give some rights to a woman live-in partner as equivalent to wife.

Homosexuality has been legalised in India , when many states in US and many countries in Europe and North/South America dont approve it legally.

Sometimes reality comes out differently than what we assume because of our persnal incounter with a person of any country or community.

Your personal experiences were very different from what actually happens in India , but if It will be very difficult for you to accept.Because you will trust what you have experienced more than what I say.

Its nobody fault actually. I was really just teasing you ;) No hard feelings. Have a good day and life ..sweetheart .. It was fun talking to you ..really …you are nice girl. ;)

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 3:01 am

Stephanie ,

This forum or blog is not anti-west.You may have got this impression because you was confronted and corrected whenever you stated some false and non-existing stereotypes about Indians specially mothers.

If correcting something which was not true about India/Indians is beeing anti-west then so be it. or Quote something VERY EXPLICIT said by majority of commentator which can come under the level “ANTI-WEST”.

No rabbit will not be bashed. Because no Indian in this forum is from Saudi Arabia. ;)

Information about India in westerm media is not always correct or precise inn the same way Western countries are not always portayed correctly in Indian media.

India has given most of the right to a women in LIVE-IN relation which a legally wife have , by law.

India has legalised homosexuallity when still many of the states of USA and many of the countries of America/Europe dont approve it.

Reality is sometime very opposite to what we assume about a set or group of peope on the basis of our interaction or encounter with a person belonging to same group or set.

It become very difficult for us to accept the reality because we think what we have experienced personally should be the ultimate truth and basic tendency of people of group in question.And we ignore the real truth.

It is not fault of you or me but human nature to trust our personal experiences to form positive or negative generalisation.

Most Muslim countries HATE AMERICA for non-existing reasons.And a study done after 9/11 says that most of the americans dont even know why OSAMA hates them so much.They are unaware of real reasons.

46% of the Americans think that OSAMA hates Americans because of their liberal society and lifestyle according to that study . That was so naive on their part.They are not aware of real issues and this comes from mis-communication and mis-understandings and lack of awareness.

So dialogue and mix-up with different culture is required to get the reality.

I was infact intentionally teasing you in some post.No hard feeling. :) You are a nice girl.Have a good day and life ..

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Rabbit January 27, 2011 at 12:44 am
coolblogger January 27, 2011 at 7:26 am

Let me give you a real life incident. In south of India there is one place which is known for caste fights every fortnight. No government servant of any dept would like to work there. And the attempt taken to change the notoriety was “not to file or document, no FIR any case including murder”. China was successful to coverup a huge crime against humanity but it wasnt documented. In US, everything is documented and blown out of proportion whereas it is much worse in other countries.
About creativity – let me share a story I read long ago not sure whether it happened for real. Spain queen threw party for Columbus for his discovery. And some poopers were undermining Columbus’s achievement saying there is nothing gr8 in this, anyone can ride a boat and it is going to hit land. And Columbus took a boiled egg and asked people to make it stand on its top, everyone tried no one could do it. After every1 gave up he peeled some portion and placed it on top and it stood. repeating something someone had already done isnt gr8 but who thinks it in first place – :) Personally I feel I am not very creative, I envy folks who think afresh -not from top universities but from humble beginings . We indians always focus on results and hero should always be the winner ,we never appreciate the effort,- this is one major thing which needs whole lot of improvement , atleast they could start with movies. Hollywood movies dont focus on climax with winning but with a message.
I dont hate India or hindi, people say that smart people can learn languages fast, I am not cut for it. I seriously lack in that department. I tried german but all I could reach was Danke, Guten tag. Same with any other language and finally gave up. Some cant sing, some cant dance ,I cant learn new language. This is my limitation.
For others => I didnt have troubled childhood or I do I hate India and I am not doing charity . I am not exchanging my views to malign some country , so dont advice me to shut up. If you really have something to say , spare anything about me and be open to discuss .

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Rabbit January 27, 2011 at 1:11 am

lol… Na na…. am not too polite. I think each culture has something unique to offer. something good, something not so good. Also i dont care who bashes me… worst case we will sponsor each other a pseudo “drink” in any case :) – i also feel some of the indians have also posted very valid point of views.

i thought this forum is or should be a unique bond between india and west – where did this west bashing / india bashing came from??? i think i need to catch up with all the posts…

i personally feel we are all discussing certain disagreement points – and that does not give us really a right to curse / bash in any case. Let me read al posts….

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Rabbit January 27, 2011 at 3:15 am

St,

yeah lot of hatred here :( …. but hope it will all set right by itself….
btw… did you meet his parents etc… how did that go…(if i may ask) … again if this is too personal feel free to shut me up :)

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St. January 28, 2011 at 4:21 pm

No, I don’t mind the question. It’s not a secret as such.

I didn’t meet my bf’s parents. He told them about me straight after our 1st date and from the start they were more than negative. First of all, they didn’t want him to find a girl himself. They always thought it’s their “right” to decide for a guy, who is now almost 30 btw. Second, they consider opinions of relatives and neighbours more important than the happiness of their son. Finally, they are as well racist. They think every white girl is a prostitute or something of that sort, even though they did not speak to a single white person in their entire life.

For my luck and their curse, my bf has always been very open and frank about his intentions. There were phases of emotional blackmail, attempt to disown, etc. It all ended quite recently when my bf decided that he had enough of this narrow-mindness and unnecessary drama. He told them ‘my way or the highway’ and well, they chose highway. Obvious downside of it is that my bf will never have a good relationship with his parents (it’s now hardly existent) but the great part is that he turned out to be an extremely loyal and strong man.
Honestly, our life is much simpler now. We continue to live as we want without the toxic baggage. But I do have good relations with his cousins and friends (so basically our generation). I think the mentality of the older part of the family is just like a brick wall. It will never change.

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Mohit Gupta January 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Stephanie ,

“They choose highway” means they broke up ties with their son ??? hmm ??

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St. January 28, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Not completely, they are too weak to even stick to their own threats. They contact him sporadically. The conversations are not long or important in their content though. They also don’t discuss anything related to our relationship or “alternative future”. However, they already declared that they will never come to Germany or elswhere and they refused to accept our kids if/when we have any.

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Mohit Gupta January 28, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Stephanie…

About kids , I can bet that whenever you guys have kids , most probably , they(prents) will rush to Germany forgetting what has happened in the past..Its very natual for Indian Parents to act this way.

There is a saying in Hindi

“Sood , mool se badhkar hota hai.” means Interest is more important than principle and in this case you bf is “principle” and your son(would be/present) is “interest” .. ;)

Just a guess , but as I dont know them personally , you know better. btw from which state of India your bf is ???

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St. January 28, 2011 at 8:51 pm

I don’t think so Mohit. I like sticking to the values one has and my bf as well. As I said, his parents are racist (and I’m fully aware of the gravity of this word). I will never accept a situation in which they try to make contact with our kids ignoring me at the same time. It’s just outside of discussion. And because I know that they won’t ever respect white people (and my kids will be half white) I don’t see a point why such “grandparents” should ever come and visit. Besides, it’s us who dictate the rules. Not parents who only pretend to care.

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Mohit Gupta January 28, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Stephanie ,

The day you become mother, their attitude towards you will change definitely.What you call racism is , I think , ignorance and a natural resistance towards you just because you belong to a different community , nation and race.That will fade up with time.

My cousin married a muslim guy against her parents wishes after 3 year of courtship but after sometime parents had to accept them.And things had worse to the extent of police cases against each other.Now its just a normal marriage forgetting all the past animosity.

On the other hand my one cousin dated a Russian in London and was about to marry her.And his parents had no problem.They were quite fine.Even when both his parents come from small and conservative towns of UP and PUNJAB.

So , just dont bother.It will be happy ending. :)

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St. January 28, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Mohit, I know you have good intentions, but honestly, it has been 5 years and anyone with sanity would not want to keep in touch with people who have ignored and disrespected you for so long.

I really don’t care if they change their mind or not. They had their chance and they blew it. I have nothing against them keeping it touch with their son, but with me they are through.

I cannot respect people who don’t respect me. In this part of the world one earns respect through actions, it’s not given for granted because of age or family hierarchy. A broken mirror can be glued, but there will be always nasty cracks on it.

As I said, I’m fine with how it is. Life is too precious to waste it on people who are not even worth your attention. I have a great guy and only that matters.

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coolblogger January 28, 2011 at 10:13 pm

@St
” Life is too precious to waste it on people who are not even worth your attention”
“I cannot respect people who don’t respect me. In this part of the world one earns respect through actions, it’s not given for granted because of age or family hierarchy.”
” A broken mirror can be glued, but there will be always nasty cracks on it. ”
Bravo…:)

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 1:03 am

Stephanie ,

“A broken mirror can be glued, but there will be always nasty cracks on it. ”

Quite good. It is very same with a Hindi song written by poet and lyricist Gulzaar and sung by Great Ghazal Singer Mr Jagjeet Singh.It follows as..

“Gaanth agar lag jaye to phir rishte ho ya dori,
Lakh karo koshish khulne mein waqt to lagta hai.”

Means if there is a knot(or bitterness) , be it relations or thread , it takes long to open it(sweeten ) it.

Another one is couplet wriiten by great Saint Rahim .He says.

“Rahiman dhaga prem ka. Mat todo chhitkay. Toote se fir naa jurre. Jdere gaanth padi jaaye.”

means

Do not break by snapping the thread that is love. Once broken , it would not join. If it does join , there would be a knot.

I think the latter one by Rahim is more similar to what you said about mirrors.

So , now , officially we can conclude and justify the ID you are using “St” which ch means “Saint” and I think SURYA also pointed ot that earlier.

We can now say “Saint Stefanie” :)

My idea is not to bore you but just want to point out that basic human emotions and their expression using daily-life examles are almost same across generations, cultures , language and Nations. ;)

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Mohit Gupta January 27, 2011 at 5:40 pm

All Bloggers ,

Following is a link which depicts the reason of why Japan has been a Silent Economic Superpower and everything in US is not perfect or incorrigible.

http://moneymorning.com/2008/12/23/us-ceo/

Thats why I respects Japanese more than any other developed countries.They are just awesome.

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Rabbit January 28, 2011 at 12:09 am

@ Coolblogger:

i love responding to your blogs. My current fav is ST and MANNY right now – as i am still to understand you better :) – i am saying this so that we avoid any confusion so – on any response – as far as offense – None taken, None Given ? ok :)

1) leave your bias aside for a min: i am not criticizing whites or america and just saying compare apple to apple

think from below points:
1) India has castism – the whole world has racism. Talk to people living in shady areas of brooklyn, newark – you get shot for 2-3 dollars can you beat that? none of the criminals usually get caught. Leave civilians even cops get shot. So much that US had to deploy African american cops to ensure african americans dont think white boys kicking their @rse (point being such cases exist everywhere – what has that got to do with Innovation???? )
2) Language learning is tougher than math or science and uses more complex brain functions (logical and analytical and more) and hence indicated that usually multiple language personnel are more intelligent (usually – so not always)
3) you gave an example of the kid and success – what if a person scores full marks in kindergarten but fails eventually and then the other one fails before but goes to NASA – this is your example ( if you read your statement you yourself are indicating that going to NASA is sign of intelligence – well 50% of NASA employees are indians… so i think there is too much of self contradiction there from your side. I dont think Nasa is a sign of intelligence but anyways.
4) when you meet foreigners usually you meet cream ala cream and you compare avg day to day india with these working class foreigners you meet. Its unfair. You will be surprised that in small towns in america there is still home schooling and inspite of 20 years of schooling the person knows much less than an avg 5th grader in india.

Compare: The comfort, the money, the lifestyle, the structure etc etc in america / europe or any other less populated developed nation to a completely screwed up system in India and yet indians are shining or are trying to shine. Why dont you hear so much of the vietnamese? or the malay? or sri lankans? just a thought?

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coolblogger January 28, 2011 at 1:19 am

I love responding your comments as well, so it is mutual :) You talk sense and u r quite a charmer arent u? You have all the pickup lines ..:)
I am not biased. If you see the comments, it is definitely not the comments from me which is hated by non-indians and definitely my comments are the ones which put India in bad light. Some people who try to defend it do that and they dig their own grave. Believe got to believe in give respect and take respect.
Dont worry general comments or notions or disagreements wouldnt push my hotbutton unless u take at swing at my family or my background and assume things and build virtual castles or when people try to unshrink me. I am not exchanging my views to win any argument, so it wont bother me if people refute unless they force me to follow their path or tell me what to do.
1. Did I ever mention that America is a perfect place? India proclaims “Unity in diversity” but in actual I find more diversity and yet efficient way of management of that in US better than in India. The people who feel that they are discriminated they dont want to come out of it, they want to have pityparty everyday for the same and this is not only in India but with the community you had mentioned before as well.
In Newark airport, these guys were asking for bribe for my overluggage and I refused to give him the money and wanted to pay the overbaggae charge. He got mad , and one time one guy asked me bad word in hindi because he wanted to scold some indians I told him to say “Vathematharam”. Not different from India.:)
3. You are reading things just like others here. Juz an expression. Whether NASA is sign of intelligence or not it is definitely not the only sign of intelligence and those Indians and their contribution isnt to be dedicated to India.:)
4. My communication isnt only with wht u mention. I do volunteer and stuff and meet people and participate in public , community activities . And I am not giving statistics I am jus expressing my views. And I am not vouching for all american kids. As per my acquaintance with american kids – I noticed that they know what they are doing. Indian kids they may be good but applying something in black&white in real life is very difficult with them. They have ranking system which is more like ratrace and no one pays interest to know what they are learning. Whatever they learn is shortterm and JEE I was talking about is not about IIT but the training facility in Andrapradesh. This way you are forcing something and letting them to compete with or compete for without levelling the playfield and thereby manipulate the system.
I never mentioned that India or Indians aretotally screwedup. You simply expect everyone to sing kudos for India, come on people ..give some freedom to brickbats as well.:)

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Manny January 28, 2011 at 1:32 am

The “not so coolblogger” is not there to debate.. .She like an Evangelical is there out to spam her biased and prejudiced views and lies!

:)

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Manny January 28, 2011 at 1:33 am

She even runs an effing Blog dissing desi men.. How perverted must that be! ;)

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Mohit Gupta January 28, 2011 at 1:51 am

Jesus ,

Hilarious ! Bushious ! Billious ! and finally Oh ! Bamious !!!

Height of rigidity and misconception and overconfidence.!!

As India needs an Arundhati Roy , “www.whiteindianhousewife.com” need a “Coolblogger” and this is unalterable and ultimate truth of life of this blog and bloggers here.

Sooner we accept , better for us. ;)

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Amit Desai January 28, 2011 at 3:20 am

@ coolblogger, “…India proclaims “Unity in diversity” but in actual I find more diversity and yet efficient way of management of that in US better than in India…”

U.S is more diverse than India? Let’s see!

1. India has 25 official languages, and hundred of spoken languages, and thousands of dialects/sublects.
- How many languages and dialects does U.S have?
2. India has 29 states, each with a distinct language and/or sub-culture.
- How many U.S states do have distinct languages and/or sub-cultures.
3. India is home to all major religions (except Jeudaism probably) and have public/government holidays for each religion.
- Does U.S have public holidays for each major religion?
4. India is home to millions of festivals/celebrations.
- How many diverse festivals do Americans have or celebrate?
5. India is also home to a complex society/subsocieties, from thousands of tribes to subcastes?
- Check information regarding tribal people in U.S.

Just because U.S is racially diverse, doesnt mean it is more diverse than India.

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Manny January 28, 2011 at 3:21 am

You make too much sense for her dude! Tone it down! :)

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coolblogger January 28, 2011 at 3:46 am

@Amit
I agree with diversity, one thing I would like to share is, in US each state has its own governance,own laws, right from tax,transport , gaymarraige and everything.
1.50 states and lotza languages. But again I dont think it is totally language dependent. Main languages are English and Spanish.
2. Distinct state and subculture? You know the facts, so.. One thing which differs is that no state owns up its culture or language or anything. Any immigrant or any person from any state can fit in anywhere. Try that in Kerala in India:)
3. Not sure whether I can try this. You know the obvious answer.
4. You gotto be kidding me. No festival or no function is celebrated with ethnic or religion based. I would be surprised if 50% of americans go to church for christmas. Easter – Easter egghunt and Easter bunny, Christmas – Santa and gifts, Columbus day,July 4? And holidays are always on mondays or fridays – so u explain me the significance.:)
5.To gotto be kidding me. Once people and community is open and accept indiviuals for who they are , then I guess there u have your answer.

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Amit Desai January 28, 2011 at 4:50 am

In U.S, each state has its own laws-governance. It’s similar in India (though not exactly same). For example, two adjacent states of India, Gujarat & Maharastra, have completely different policies on alcohol and municiple/residential property laws. In Kerala, you can open up a meat shop almost anywhere. In Gujarat, you have to get licence before selling meat, especially beef and there are many other condition applied.

And you can also live in many states in India without knowing the first language.

Mumbai, for example, where significant number of people speak other languages than marathi (Gujarati, Hindi, Punjabi, English are as popular as Marathi).

How many people were driven off who didn’t speak Marathi? How many people are still there who barely speak Marathi?
Did you ever live in Mumbai?

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Mohit Gupta January 28, 2011 at 5:07 am

Amit,

Also , we have different rates for Sale Taxes and VAT rates which decide the price of commodities.
Deisel and Petrol Prices are different.
Car prices are different.
Land acquisition Laws are different.Infact everything is different which dont belongs to Central Government laws and Tax-rules.

So , states have as much differnt laws in India as in US.These differences are attributed to system of governance and not because of any inherent character of Nation.

When giving examples of US/UK and comparing it with India , we often forget that most of Indian constituion is just slighly modified version of British-Law in colonial days.

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coolblogger January 28, 2011 at 8:27 pm

@Amit
- Let me ask u same Q someone asked sometime before. Which camp are you in? You are giving me butchershop example – is that to support my argument or urs?
You ask me whether I stayed in Mumbai to comment about Mumbhai,take it in lighternote, so when you guys talk about 0 where you sitting next to Aryabhatta doing PR job for him?
States in south of India always feel out of place and want separate country because of the govt structure in India. All important departments are controlled by central which is slightly inclined towards … [Hope I dont start any bonfire here]
Only when the pbm crosses states I guess it should come under central law unless it is preferrable to have state based laws and central can have watch over it.
Anyone who wants to start a business or get patent need to go lot of trouble in India , govt doesnt make it easy. G.D.Naidu gave up some of his inventions and gave away couple of things free to other nations because he couldnt handle license and govt restrictions. [I dont remember exact quotes] Read any entreprener history in India, rag to riches isnt tough because of personal or financial challenges – the main enemy is always the government.
The tax for IT field should be the best example, – punish the people who try to change the economy :)

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Amit Desai January 29, 2011 at 10:35 am

@ coolblogger, “…Let me ask u same Q someone asked sometime before. Which camp are you in?…”

I had already clearified that I’m in no camp.

I intentionally gave you the example of butchershop that can be used to support your argument or anyone else’s depending on the context. There is no right or wrong answer.

If India has useless government restrictions, who do you think can change those laws, Ukranians?

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 11:54 am

Amit ,

Its better to stirke you head against wall than expecting her to talk sensible abou India.So be prepared with bandages while talking.

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 4:29 pm

All South Indians ,

One , Independent , mature , cool and creative woman has given following Statement.

“States in south of India always feel out of place and want separate country because of the govt structure in India.”

Please let us know the credibility of this statement.Most of the South-Indians I communicated dont feel it so.Regarding the most imporatant Department , it should be noted that TELECOM which is one of the most important department was Given to Mr A. RAJA who is from Tamil Nadu.

The grvaity of the statement is that it simply assume most of the south Indians SEPARATIST. ??

Is that so ? And if not ,the why the hell can she be the representative of South-Indians and give statement on their behalf , which amount to TREASON.

Till now , she was just having cultural and intellectual bias against India.But now she is having some really serious political issues , which aims to destablise republic of India.

I mean , its fine you dont like India and now you have gone to the place of your choice to settle.Atleast now , you should be content with your life instead of Giving Anti-India/Indians statemnt which do no good to anyone.

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Manny January 29, 2011 at 8:17 pm

I suspect she is a Pakistani. Could be.

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Manny January 29, 2011 at 9:23 pm

After what happened to Tamils in Sri Lanka, I doubt the Tamils in India want to “separate”! Moreoever they are all busy converting themselves to Christianity to stick it the Rama worshiping Aryans of the north!! Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face!

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Manny January 29, 2011 at 8:19 pm

“the main enemy is always the government.”

Yes..the Nehru lefti built govt that has been on power 89% of the time since independence!

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surya January 29, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Mohit, she has a stun gun and keeps using it relentlessly for ‘shock and awe’ effect. Telugus are as separatists as Gujaratis are. Next shocker from her will be that ‘all indians want to join china’.

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Manny January 29, 2011 at 9:26 pm

She could be easily recruited by the ISI! A Low hanging fruit for them! :)

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Mohit Gupta January 30, 2011 at 2:35 am

manny
, may be non-resident overseas agent of ISI. :)

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coolblogger January 28, 2011 at 4:01 am

One more I like to share, you do have ethnic neighbourhoods though u dont have states. They are taking measures to change that. The community and the counties work together to change tht. They lure mixed races and quite affluent afro-americans to move to white neighbourhoods and work very hard on that.
Again, here I go again- wht are we doing in India? Driving off people from Blore and Mumbai because they dont speak Marati.:)
You can survive in US without knowing english – I have seen many cases and many races personally. :)

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prashanth January 29, 2011 at 4:32 am

“well 50% of NASA employees are indians”

@Rabbit

Until last year, it was 30%. Now, you claim that to be 50%. Where did you get this information? Did some rocket scientist come and tell you this? ..If you don’t know the exact information, don’t hype it…Indians are already known for hyping things..So, you are just making it worse!

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Amit Desai January 29, 2011 at 6:07 am

So true prashanth. In fact, from what I know, all Asians accout for only 5 percent in NASA. It makes more sense because 5% is proportional to the total population of Asians (which is roughly 5%) in the U.S.

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Its neither 30 , nor 50. Actually the whole issue is misleading and confusing.I tried to found out the truth and found followings ‘facts’ which , again, may vary from the actual truth.

1. Around 5% “NASA EMPLOYEES” are Asians.So the number of Indians would obviuosly be less than that.
But around 25-30% of “NASA SCIENTIST” are Indians.
Simply all “NASA EMPLOYEES” are not “SCIENTIST” ;)

2. In 2003 , Mr Bill Gates said that not all of Employees but 20% employees of “Engineering Division” are of Indian descent.

Find more truth …

SATYAM EVA JAYTE..!!

:) :) :)

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Amit Desai January 30, 2011 at 9:04 am

With less than 1% of Indians/Indo-Americans in the U.S, it’s very unlikely to have 20-25% in NASA.

I see many Indians driving cabs and managing restaurants/stores in the U.S. It seems that some of these hard-working Indians must be doing night shifts (as scientists) in NASA to have some side income, right? Haha.

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Mohit Gupta January 30, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Yeah !

May be , Its what India is all about , mulititasking .;)

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Manny January 28, 2011 at 1:27 am

These are Indian men! I am sure many of them were handfed by their mothers well into their adult life.

:)

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Response-by-Taj-employees-to-26/11-a-case-study-at-Harvard/articleshow/7370800.cms

BOSTON: The heroic response by employees of Mumbai’s landmark Taj Hotel during the 26/11 terror attacks is now a case study at Harvard Business School that focuses on the staff’s selfless service for its customers and how they went beyond their call of duty to save lives.

The multimedia case study ‘Terror at the Taj Bombay: Customer-Centric Leadership’ by HBS professor Rohit Deshpande documents “the bravery and resourcefulness shown by rank-and-file employees” during the attack.

The study mainly focuses on “why did the Taj employees stay at their posts (during the attacks), jeopardising their safety in order to save hotel guests” and how can that level of loyalty and dedication be replicated elsewhere.

A dozen Taj employees died trying to save the lives of the hotel guests during the attacks.

“Not even the senior managers could explain the behaviour of these employees,” Deshpande is quoted as saying in HBS Working Knowledge, a forum on the faculty’s research and ideas.

Deshpande said even though the employees “knew all the back exits” in the hotel and could have easily fled the building, some stayed back to help the guests.

“The natural human instinct would be to flee. These are people who instinctively did the right thing. And in the process, some of them, unfortunately, gave their lives to save guests.”

A documentary-style account of events, the case includes video interviews with hotel staff and footage of the attack.

It shows how leadership displayed by people in the bottom rank to the top levels in the organisational hierarchy helped in saving lives.

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Manny January 28, 2011 at 3:14 am

It also focuses on the hotel’s history, its approach to recruiting and training employees, the Indian culture’s “guest is God” philosophy and how the hotel would recover after the attacks.

Another key concept of the study is that in India and the developing world, “there is a much more paternalistic equation between employer and employee that creates a kinship.”

Deshpande said Taj employees felt a sense of loyalty to the hotel as well as a sense of responsibility to the guests.

He cites the example of a general manager who insisted on staying put and help direct a response to the attack even after learning that his wife and sons had died in a fire on the hotel’s top floor.

“Nothing in the employees’ training could have prepared them for such an unprecedented situation,” Deshpande said.

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Rabbit January 28, 2011 at 2:06 am

@ Coolblogger – points well taken…. i think we are on same page but may be a paragraph away… :)

1) my kewl pick up lines…lol… thanks or dont know what to say. I still remember the first white girl i ever asked for a date – it was so similar to the first indian girl i ever asked for a date… and trust me in either case i was shittin bricks – lol so this i will take as my over achievement :) love you for this.

2) I dont know all the elements of cultures and hence wanted to seek St’s guidance on how it so that i can be a better man for my girlfriend… or atleast try to – so basically its a little selfish (or very selfish) however i am sure St. wont mind considering its for a good cause. I will wait for St – to kick my lil butt on it…;)

3) i agree with you on many of the points and i will refute india on many things and here are a few:
a) poverty and the fact no one cares it exists
b) lack of govt empathy
c) lack of infusion or focus on risk taking

but more or less they are systemic failures which i and you are responsible – thats all i am saying – and its not lack of intelligence

also some positives on white girls:

1) they say things the way they are
2) white girls – actually are not what indians think they are – they almost always believe in family values , love, culture etc etc – infact many a times much much more than an avg indian woman … but again my views…

PS: There will be no personal attack from me to you or anyone or has been… I feel we are all at Gods mercy and i would not want any crap i say to come back biting to me… yes again selfish / fear whatever – but thats what i feel.

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Rabbit January 28, 2011 at 5:04 am

@ Manny

That’s a very interesting article. Share more info as you find on this. I am amazed with the anstract would like to see the Analysis bit by Harvard.

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Mohit Gupta January 28, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Sonia jee ,

How surprising is that guys at Italian Visa consulate who were never “fed by mothers” and are ‘mature’ and ‘independent’ could not take a decsion on my tourist VISA in 23 days when the max time mentioned of their site is 15 days.

Even when this is off-season. How amazing is that? And people blame red-tapism of India. ;)

Now , I just want them to take a decision to either refuse or grant Visa but return my passport so that I can plan for somewhere else.PLEASE.

Sharell , I hope sonia ji read this blog. :)

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surya January 28, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Mhit,
is this at Delhi consulate ? Does it have to do with your working in the middle east ?!! The terror factor in the equation maybe playing a larger role than it usually appears.
An Indian with a decent job gets US visa without any delay, I see a plenty of visitors coming here on 6 months visas. Students will have to face some of hurdles though.

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prashanth January 28, 2011 at 11:13 pm

@Surya

Working in Middle-East usually doesn’t have any effect on getting a visa to Europe (unless you worked in some creepy companies or places, in Middle-East). The fact is that European visas usually take good enough time, as they don’t take it easy, in the immigration department. Also, in Mohit’s case, he is applying for a visa to multiple countries. So, it takes some time. He should have planned for it much in advance. Also, European firms work in a much different way, than the American/Indian firms (specially firms, which have American influence). It took good enough time for me to get a visa too, although I was offered a direct job, from a German company, when I was working in India.

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 12:14 am

Surya ,

I am not working in middle east.I worked in Middle East just for one year and came back.Now I am working in a company in Noida for last three year and its a pretty decent job and salary.

I dont think its about terrorism or middleeast.Infact its easier to immigrate to US/UK/Europe if you are working in UAE and not a muslim. :)

In my case ,its just have to do with illegal immigration.That is fine.

But my point is that 15 days is enough time to refuse or grant visa.And its the official maximum time mentioned on thier website.

They should care that only 9 days are left and I have to plan it otherwise if they refuse.And cancel tickets and hotel booking and apply for another destination.For that I need my passport.I dont need a visa.I will most probably go to Russia now , if they reject my visa , as my flight is through moscow but still it would cost me big fortue as I have purchased everything.

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 12:30 am

And this is happening when , at the direction of VFS Global , I have submitted my wedding card and Engagement Pic.What more proof they want.? They have just spoiled my mood.

Yeah its at Delhi Embassy , more over they dont tell you the reason of refusal , if they reject your Visa application.

Prashanth ,

I think after the Schengen Treaty , this whole issue of multiple countries should not be so important.If that is so , then what is the relevance of Schengen Visa. ?

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prashanth January 29, 2011 at 1:13 am

“I think after the Schengen Treaty , this whole issue of multiple countries should not be so important.If that is so , then what is the relevance of Schengen Visa. ?”

@Mohit

True, but that doesn’t mean they will issue the visa’s, easily and in short time. Schengen Visa was implemented to create easy flow of traffic, tourists, trade, etc through different countries..Also, the European Union and the Euro currency was created for that purpose. Almost all countries benefit from this, as people travel/trade easily and it improves the economy. Switzerland, Italy and Austria, for example rely heavily on tourism.

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 1:34 am

Prashanth

Hey , I am not asking VISA in short time. Its been 24 days.Its not a short time. And what do you mean by “easily” ? I have given them all the documents mentioned in their Form and supported it with optional document and have given them enough time to DECIDE.If the guy at embassy cant take a decision in 24 days , he is not eligible enough to be there.

Yaar kabhi to meri bhi baat maan liya karo ;)

Why do you always justify everything done by western countries even if they are wrong and working against their own written rules.

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prashanth January 29, 2011 at 2:00 am

@Mohit

Why do you always think that I’m justifying the western countries…I’m just stating the facts here! By ‘easily’, I meant it’s not that easy to get into conservative, Xenophobic Europe. They are not that easy in the immigration department (specially in these times, when there are economy problems, unemployment, terrorism and growing Islamophobia). When it is a problem for you, call ‘em or shoot an e-mail, asking why it is taking time and how long would that take..but remember not to be rude.

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 2:10 am

Prashanth

I have Already E-mailed them asking innocently and politely about the whereabout of my Passport.Guys at VFS say , Its with Italian Embassy and Italian Embassy doesnt respond me.

I got a chance to talk to someone from the Embassy but he just said ” Embassy is closed now , call on monday ” when it was only 3:40 PM.

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prashanth January 29, 2011 at 1:08 am

“I will most probably go to Russia now”

@Mohit

I wouldn’t go to Russia now, as it would be too cold!

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 1:27 am

Prashath ,

I have no other option now. ;(

I know the temperature will be Min -10 Degree and Max 0 Deg. .But I cant let me be robbed of my money and fun as My ticket to Rome via Moscow is non-refundable.(I am cursing myself for that ;) ).And I have too utilise that at any cost or I will be at big loss.

I think its fun to exprience different climate.Poeple form Europe go to sunny location in Winter. And I am going to Freezy location from a sunny location. Thats the fate of mine and FUN ! : ) : ) :)

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prashanth January 29, 2011 at 1:53 am

@Mohit

True…As someone who’s living in Delhi, you can probably bear -10, but I’m not sure if you can cope up -20, which is normal in February.

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Mohit Gupta January 29, 2011 at 2:02 am

-20 is not normal min temp but record min for february,which is ocassional .

Lets see what happens with my Italy Visa.

Recent communication with Italy Embassy by someone in EA ministry of India(who is known to me) suggested they may give my VISA on 7th feb , just 4 days before my departure and day of marriage. hahaha..

Do they want a party ..? or its the effect of India’s civic and working culture on Romans. ??? hahaha..

I think guys at Italian consulate are more serious about

“While in India do as Indians do.” ;)

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LA January 29, 2011 at 5:13 am

Hope you get your visa in time! Also, I’d check how exactly they define “non-refundable.” It may mean that while you won’t get money back, the airline will give you credit that you can use later, typically within 12 mo.

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Sharell January 30, 2011 at 3:51 pm

That is awful, Mohit. :-( I feel your pain and know how stressful it is after almost running short of time to get my husband’s visa organised. Really hope it comes through for you soon. Some people say that India and Italy are similar when it comes to inefficiency and red tape. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome for you. You really don’t need this stress before your wedding…

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Rabbit January 30, 2011 at 11:52 am

Sorry for delay guys i was on business travel and that sucked most of my weekend…

36% (as of 2008) of NASA Scientist are Indians. I stand corrected on numbers i gave and i guess i should have researched that better.

In my views this is something to be proud of yet something we must ponder further on cause – if so much talent exist why is the same not being focused on making our own system better, rather than just being focused on blaming the system. So in my view we are no less in intelligence however we are not as good in marketing, and selling ourselves… Below success rates further make me worry…

38% doctors in US are indians, 34% employees at Microsoft, 28% at IBM, 17% at Intel are Indians (as on net). Close to 40% of silicon valley start ups are by indians. Also the first commercial internet chat success was by an indian.

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Mohit Gupta January 30, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Rabbit ,

Indian professionals in the US truly make India proud, but the statistics quoted by you to highlight their contributions are either overstated or unverifiable.

Infact , in 2008 , Minister of State for Human Resource Development D. Purandeswari had sought to reveal same statistics in the Rajya Sabha, the upper house, ascribing impressive numbers to Indians who are contributors to the US’ knowledge economy.

According to Vivek Wadhwa, a Harvard fellow and Duke University professor, estimated the number of Indians at Microsoft operations at 10 percent at best and not 34 percent as suggested.

The data on doctors evokes similar answer, with a spokesperson for the American Medical Association saying out of 900,000 doctors in the US, 720,000 actually see patients and of them 48,000 have degrees from India.

This places the share of Indian doctors in the US at 10 percent – the largest among all physicians educated in the US, but not 38 percent as stated.

This also corroborates the data available with the American Association of Physicians of Indian Origin (AAPI), that claims a membership of more than 40,000 doctors and another 15,000 medical students and residents.

Nonetheless, Indians have a good share in the US knowledge economy with Wadhwa’s research suggesting that 15.5 percent of all Silicon Valley tech start-ups had Indians as key founders, with a nationwide average of close to seven percent.

Another field where Indian Americans have a lion’s share of the market is the hospitality sector, as revealed by the statistics with the Asian American Hotel Owners Association (AAHOA).

The association claims a membership of 8,000, who together own more than 22,000 hotels, with one million rooms, that represent over 50 percent of the economy lodging properties and 37 percent of all hotel properties in the US.

But other Figures like “38% doctors in US are indians, 34% employees at Microsoft, 28% at IBM, 17% at Intel are Indians (as on net). Close to 40% of silicon valley start ups are by indians” are inflated , unvarifiable and part of a benevolent yet misleading chain-mails doing the rounds over the net in years.

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Rabbit January 30, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Mohit,

refer below link for my data – i have not given any numbers by my self and there are several links that indicate that on the web.

http://www.defence.pk/forums/current-events-social-issues/10359-36-scientists-nasa-indians-govt-survey.html

abstract below:

“The extent to which desis have made an impact in the US was reeled off in the Rajya Sabha — as many as 12% scientists and 38% doctors in the US are Indians, and in Nasa, 36% or almost 4 out of 10 scientists are Indians.

If that’s not proof enough of Indian scientific and corporate prowess, digest this: 34% employees at Microsoft, 28% at IBM, 17% at Intel and 13% at Xerox are Indians”

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Mohit Gupta January 31, 2011 at 5:53 am

Rabbit ,

I am very proud of Indians all over the world.And I am not saying that you have yourself made these figures.We all gather information from net but sometimes it comes out wrong.

I am just saying that figures are highly inflated and a part of net hoax to which even Indian goverment fall prey.

Even the link you have provided tells the same story.And when you scroll down on that link, you will find a conflicting report by same TOI which refutes all the claims made by HR Minister of India.

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Rabbit January 30, 2011 at 1:42 pm

@ Mohit…

Forgot one point – i understand that numbers are unverifiable and also there are lot of spams circulating, just like the link i shared (may be a spam may be not) but let me ask you a simple question which country national by the proportion of their population you think are highest in NASA, Microsoft, Google etc…

just to clarify.. for instance aferican americans in US and number of aferican americans in NASA, Google etc, Italian Americans in US vs Italian Americans in NASA, Mexicans in US vs mexicans in NASA… etc … is it not a clear answer even if % is as low as 5% or as high as 36%???

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Manny January 30, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Indians would do well anywhere when they are taken out from the system created by the Nehru left socialist jerks!

so basically take the desi out of India and plant them in a desert or a forest or a mountain range of Canada, US, Oz or anywhere in Africa along with the lions, they would come out on top with their own initiatives.

The Nehru family fuedals have tied 1.3 billions with promise that they need to depend on this evil family!

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Mohit Gupta January 31, 2011 at 6:03 am

No doubt about it. India-Americans stands out clear winner as the most successfull migrants in US , be it education , financial status or Business.

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vic January 31, 2011 at 6:36 pm

It makes sense why American Indians would be the most successful. The U.S is very far from India so only the people that can afford to come here do so. The other group that do so are ones that come here for jobs and they already have a good education.

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Rabbit February 1, 2011 at 7:20 am

@ Vic – some points you may appreciate:

1) IF THE BEST INDIANS ARE HERE in US / EUROPE: then why is the US worried and why the govt has acknowledged that they are falling behind in math, science, overall education, and competitiveness to india and china – and this to IN SPITE OF THE INFUSION OF THE BEST TALENTS FROM these countries??? (by your logic US should not worry at all?)
2) LANGUAGE: All this education is done by Indians in a language that’s not their first language (lets face this – most parents also do not spk this language at home – mine dont or atleast dint 20 yrs ago?). Yes we are taught english and we are masters – however its still not our first language – in fact many score poor in English and very high in math and science in GRE (pre 2003/4 format)
3) Now try making Americans study their entire education in french, german,hindi etc along with English – what do you think will happen?
4) US EDUCATION FORMAT IS UNKNOWN TO INDIANS then why is that the Inidan students also beat many others – infact the ones who have qualified the same GMAT / GRE etc and also these Indians, have never ever done the US education system – infact they are the product of the same pathetic system that everyone is cursing and criticizing ? – they still outperform. Try plugging in an europen or an american in any other educational system?
5) another truth about immigration is that each Indian here contributes to several blue collar jobs without any, trust me without creating any social / criminal unrest and hence the reason why USIC is so keen on getting Indians here either as students or as jobs – its not just education and intelligence its also the culture.

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Vivek April 28, 2011 at 5:37 pm

I got fed till I was 12 year old. When I was late for school, I would say, “Mom, you feed me, I’ll pack the bag”

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Sharell May 1, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Cute! :-)

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Ms.M May 28, 2011 at 9:27 am

Having lived with 3 Indians and currently dating one. I have to say I was pretty shocked to discover this actually does happen. One roommate of mine was in this situation with his mother and absolutely perplexed as to how to survive esp. in the kitchen while he was here in the states. Not that he couldn’t feed himself just that he couldn’t cook and was always saying he would be happy to be home to his mom. I will hand it to him though he did try to learn to cook. I guess it is a cultural difference for sure but as Westerners I think we sort of expect men to be less pampered and India is a place that as you have said before caters to ones “position” in society.

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Harold July 11, 2011 at 10:31 am

I am an East Indian guy, age 41, grown up in USA. My mother still feeds me with her hand.

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Perry February 4, 2012 at 5:27 am

Hi
I am living in US past 20 years and married with 2 kids. when I visit back home Mumbai, some day my mother feeds me few morsels just to show affections.
No my wife never fed me excep during maharashtrian matrimonial ceremony. My younger 2 year daughter though loves to put a spoon in my mouth when I am feeding her.

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LK November 6, 2013 at 12:05 pm

my friend’s husband is from Delhi, and he has always insisted on hand-feeding their son, who is now 7. He also insists that he must be alone in the bedroom with the son for 30 minutes every night to ‘put him to sleep,’ and in the daytime when the son is playing, the father will start to give him little massages all over his body. He insists all this is “cultural” and part of India’s ‘culture of family’. My friend (the American mother) buys into all this cultural stuff. I have to say, from the perspective of their American friends, it all seems rather pervy. Also, it’s no wonder, really, that the boy is very very immature compared to his peers.

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wikitheeks November 7, 2013 at 10:44 am

“He also insists that he must be alone in the bedroom with the son for 30 minutes every night to ‘put him to sleep,”

Red Flag!!!

This is NOT cultural and it is not normal.

A father “insisting” to the mother that he be alone every night for 30 minutes with their child to “put him to sleep”?!?!?

What happens if the mom wants to join and want to put the child to sleep also, the father denies her?!

Tell your friend she needs to spy on her husband at this time and if she sees him touching the child inappropriately that this is NOT “cultural” (though he may try to convince her it is).

It sounds like the father could possibly be an incestuous pedophile.

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