I’ve been to Goa with my husband twice now. The first time was two years ago, and we weren’t married then. The second time was last week, during the 2009 Mumbai Xpress Rickshaw Challenge. Both times, we had senseless encounters with the police.
On the first occasion, we were staying in Anjuna. As we were leaving our room one night, we were approached by a group of three undercover policemen. They pulled my husband aside and started questioning him in Hindi. I could understand most of what they were saying, but my Hindi wasn’t good enough at the time to speak. Their questions consisted of the typical “What are you doing here?, Where are you from?, Who is she?, Why are you with her?”. I just stood there and said nothing.
The policemen decided that they would search our room for drugs. Two of them went inside with my husband. The other remained with me, and started questioning me. “Who is the guy you’re with?, Where is he from?, How long have you known him?, What is his job?, Why are you with him?”.
And then, the policemen’s true intention was revealed. “If we find drugs in your room, we’ll put him in jail. How much are you willing to pay to prevent that from happening?”. I was stunned.
Not long after, the two policemen returned with my husband. “Look, we found this in your room”, one of them said. He produced some hash. “Where in the room did you find it?”, I demanded. By this stage, I was in confused disbelief. “They didn’t find it”, my husband said. “They planted it there”.
Fortunately, the police had started realising that we were actually a legitimate couple from Calcutta (where we lived at the time) having a peaceful holiday in Goa. After a while, they dropped the matter and let us go. I, however, remained very disturbed for the rest of the night. It was my first encounter with the Indian police, and I lost a great deal of respect for them.
Now, two years later, the police decided to question my husband again. We’d had dinner on Baga Beach with the organisers of the Rickshaw Challenge and a few other participants, and were all on our way back to our hotel. We were staying at the Taj Vivanta hotel in Panaji, and we were travelling together in one large car.
The police had set up a nakabandi (road block) on the road from Baga Beach. Upon seeing my husband in the car, and asking us where we were going, the policeman demanded that we pull over. (A young looking Indian guy, claiming to be staying at a luxury hotel with a bunch of foreigners — an unlikely story, I’m sure they were thinking).
The policeman told my husband to get out of the car, and took him to the side of the road. Everyone in the car was wondering what was happening. However, an additional two years of living in India had made me a lot wiser this time. It’s simply because he’s an Indian with foreigners, I told them.
Feeling very irritated by the situation, I got out of the car to deal with it myself.
“Yeh mera pati hai.” (This is my husband). “Kyaa baat hai?” (What is this matter?”), I demanded.
I stood there with my arms folded, glaring at the policeman. And yes, I was taller than him. He glared back at me. “Problem kyaa hai?” (What’s the problem?), I demanded to know. The glaring continued. “Kuch nahi” (nothing), he finally answered.
The whole interaction was done in less than a minute, and we got back into the car. By now, everyone’s wonderment had turned to astonishment. They were astonished that such a thing could happen, and astonished that I had dealt with it in such a way. It provided them with much excitement for the evening, and a new insight into “the real India”.
However, it sadly reminded me of the inequality that exists here and the difficulty of being married to an Indian. My husband joked that if he had a moustache, he’d be taken a lot more seriously. But would he? He also said that if he was a local, he might not have so many problems in Goa. But would he?
It does bother me (and surely must bother him) that as an Indian, he doesn’t get treated respectfully, while as a while woman, I do. I find it very insulting. I guess it’s some consolation, at least, that I can use it to our advantage.
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I don’t want to start a flame fest although I have plenty to say but clearly Anthia ji is unreasonably Indophobic and needs to stay wherever she is without ever thinking about India or Indians.
Thanks PGB, ever the diplomat.
I do feel that Anthia is obviously very aggrieved by what has happened to her husband.
Oh, as for my cooking, Anthia I’m sure yours would be better! I’m very much still learning and can’t even get my chapattis to be round!!
My cooking is very much edible though. It’s just not always to Indian standard.
My children went to the police station with me to hear their lies about my husband’s death when he died. they saw the photos of the way he was treated. Indians cremated him without a cause of death given and took away my kids rights to see their father for last time. We were excluded by Indian authorities from every process.That is enough to give them a fair impression of India. don’t lecture me. I am sure I know what I am talking about in this position. Their impression is very mature and with an open mind. As for the students… they only lost money not their lives. If one student died it was random. Indians have had it tough and that should make them into better humans. Why so much corruption and murder that won’t stop? Even to their own people.
violent not passionate. Thanks for the lecture. Is Ronny your husband – you seem to defend him. What is your husband’s name anyway?
sorry you can’t block my comments – didn’t work. i am skillful at computers
Anthia ji, Well clearly Indians as a whole (which unfortunately includes your late husband as well) are a bunch of savages
.
We treat each other badly.
We are corrupt.
We are racist.
We are casteist.
What else is left to pile on please let us know I will add that to my list.
Anthia, I didn’t try to block your comments (and you’re actually not that skilled, because I approved the above one, it was in the moderation queue). I simply deleted an in appropriate one, and will continue to do so if you keep posting inappropriately.
Of course Ronny isn’t my husband. And I won’t be mentioning my husband’s name a) because it’s not relevant, and b) in my husband’s family’s tradition, wives don’t address their husbands by their names.
Your children have only been shown one side of India, that’s obviously why they don’t have a favourable view. If you in fact hated India as much as you say, you would never have come here in the first place and married an Indian guy. Your judgement is being clouded by the very unfortunate event that happened to your husband.
India still has a long way to go, admittedly some problems like corruption are ingrained. It’s not possible for these things to be changed overnight.
Faak Ronny, we suck man :twisted evil:
MDG – I know exactly what you mean. My outlook is similar to yours, and I get greatly upset by people who aren’t honest and trustworthy. Try not to be too bothered though, these sorts of incidents fortunately aren’t encountered all the time!
Faak. We suck, guys :Twisted-Evil:
I’m a teenager myself, eighteen years old. So by your logic, I am mature and open-minded, right?
I have never ever had a single bad experience in India. And please do not make a mockery of yourself on a public forum by lecturing on things like racism and tolerance. You’re an AUSTRALIAN. Australia has a long and violent history. We all know about how your ancestors massacred millions of aborigines. We all know about the racism that is such a basic part of Australian culture. Sure, we’re not the most perfect country in the world, but raising a stink about the crap in others’ houses isn’t going to clean up your own. Yes I am a PROUD ARGUMENTATIVE INDIAN. You give me stats about the bad things in my country, how about finding about glorious Australia for a change. Google.You’ll find plenty of ammo there.
Please ensure you know what you’re talking about before putting your size 10 foot in your size 1 mouth. (This is courtesy Fake IPL Player
)
You have a problem with Indian students coming and studying there. FYI, your cash-strapped, neglected Universities practically invite people from here to study there. Australia earns 750 million dollars a year from its education industry The average Australian may hate the modern Indian, but he needs him because he pays.Just open any Indian newspaper and satisfy yourself.
“Indians have had it tough and that should make them into better humans. Why so much corruption and murder that won’t stop? Even to their own people.”
Huh. Ever bothered comparing the comprehensive crime statistics in India and Australia? Do you Australia’s population? 20 million. Australia is practically a continent. India has a 1002 million people crammed into a piece of land the size of Texas.
I know youre still grappling with the question as to which is the more difficult to Police. Take your time. We Indians may be savage rapists , but we are a verryy patient lot :Twisted Evil:
As for the death of that husband of yours and your resulting plight, I am sorry I don’t feel much sympathy for a woman who is so hateful of my country and who raves so superbly. The former is something emotional. The latter is well, I don’t have much respect for people who crap to the ceiling in their own house and laugh at the filth in others’.
The main cause for all your “emotion” is that some Indian actually disagreed with you. You expected all of us to sit and tamely nod our heads while you continued with your diatribe. When an Australian woman says that she lives in India out of choice and isn’t regretting it, you start ranting. Carry on.
Although I don’t think you’d care. All you are here for is to sling mud.
Can’t be arsed reading through every single comment as a flame war seems to have started (a flame war? On the internet? Well I never…).
You should know that Goan police are widely regarded as the worst in India. They will lie, cheat and steal worse than the crooks they are supposedly fighting against. You need to apply Indians thinking when dealing with them, not, y’know, “logic”. If going to Goa, you need someone who speaks the local dialects, you need to be prepared to negotiate bribes rather than try to avoid them altogether and you need to be ready to get taken for a ride by the system.
Goa is not a good place for anyone any more. It has been polluted by socially lower class tourists (both Indian and foreign) and now resembles that which disgusts Leonardo Dicaprio in the movie ‘The Beach’ (best example I can think of, off the top of my head). It’s filled with spoilt school kids (like me, a few couple years ago) going to get high after board exams, filthy Indians tourists from backward states (you have never seen a bus full of ‘Bhai’s’ from Bihar who are all seeing the sea for the first time – it’s quite a sight) and low-end package holidayers from Europe. I love a good rave, don’t get me wrong, but most of the savvy tourists have forsaken Goa for other spots (Shiva Valley on the Karnataka Andra border, Pondicherry, Manipal, the mountains, etc…)
There are still lovely churches, restaurants and clubs in Goa, but the influx of budget tourists coupled with the now infamous police has all but ruined it.
The police, believe or not, are right to suspect a young, single Indian man traveling with a group of foreigners. But ‘suspecting’ and ‘harassing’, usually two very different things, are one and the same in India. I have seen many a foreign tourist get sweet-talked and conned by single, young Indian men. No excuses for this behaviour though. Similarly, no excuses for planting drugs on you.
Sigh, once again I find myself apologising on behalf of my country.
Anthia Mishra wrote
“”Indians have had it tough and that should make them into better humans. Why so much corruption and murder that won’t stop? Even to their own people.”"
Lol good joke……hahahahahahaha
600,000 IRAQIS DIED because of American-Aussie-British INVASION OF IRAQ…….
EQUAL OR MORE DIED in Afghanistan.
Millions and millions became orphan,widows, maimed for life……
Australia provided ONE OF THE LARGEST BATTALIONS of armed forces to do those gruesome killing………
And u lecture us about “murder”……….!!!!!!
What about “”stolen generations”" of aborigines???Which was nothing but a CULTURAL GENOCIDE……..!!!!
Dont lecture us on anything. You dont have any moral right.
@@ akshay
Excellent response. Keep it up brother.
@@@@shravan
i also agree with you.
Police in India is VERY CORRUPT just like any developing country.
God knows when police reforms will come……..!!
Cheers man
Eh, Sharell, there’s no point trying to reason with teh crazy.
Anthia: You just suggested that Lila Salter who was a part of Hare Krishna with her family and living ISKCON lifestyle were AS YOU PUT IT Note to ISKCON parents: your teenage kids want to stay in Vrindavan to do what teenagers do – hang out, party, have fun, flirt and smoke some high quality ganja
Me: Yeah, and? Where did I say she “misbehaved”? Hanging out, partying, having fun, flirting and smoking ganja are all normal Western teenage behaviours. Heck, I’m in my 30s and I still so some of that.
My point was that ISKCON parents are foolish enough to think that their kids are not normal teens and are saints of some sort who want to stay locked in some ashram room in Vrindavan like Mirabai singing and weeping over Giridhari Gopal.
Part of the blame belongs to Salter’s parents and Keeling’s mom.
PS: there is a tradition in ISKCON called “book distribution” where ISKCON members approach stangers in public places like airports, bus terminals, Wal-mart parking lots, etc, to try and sell them their guru’s (Prabhupada’s) books. Lila Salter’s mother had said she was proud that her daughter would approach strangers in the ISKCON Vrindavan temple grounds to sell books. Excuse me? You have your young teenage daughter approaching strange, unknown men in India? Even within a “temple compound” this is bad form, bad news and dangerous.
Again, parents need to wake up and smell the chai.
Some details about Parmanand Mishra’s tragic (and mysterious) death may be found at:
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2005/12/18/1134840742807.html
It is a sad story and I can imagine Anthia’s frustration. Let this not be about my-country-vs-your-country. It involves individuals from both countries caught up in a horrifying event. If, as the news report says, this was the second such death under similar circumstances, it is easy to suspect the police of some involvement or a cover-up.
Anthia, India should not be judged by this but it is undeniable that incidents such as this are a big part of life in India.
Kickass performance!
“Yeh mera pati hai.”
“Kyaa baat hai?”
“Problem kyaa hai?”
No wonder sunk the tail between his legs and felt doubly embarrassed for not even having a tail to do so.
Its funny how people have converted this comment section into a mudslinging match.
Indians are good.
Others are good.
Indians are sick.
Others too are sick.
Basically humans are good and humans are sick
And just to infuriate someone who used the term ‘argumentative’ a bit out of place (You can’t hate people for being argumentative
) (But I empathise with your plight), some ‘ARGUMENTATIVE INDIANS’ are making such lame arguments just to argue.
Police can be good. You may have met some good ones. But then think about it, police do love extra ‘side income’. They also love harassing young couples (even if all Indian) in name of culture. (Probably because their dada forced them into a frustrating arranged marriage
) (Or probably because they got into a frustrating arranged marriage by arrangement as no chick ever fell for their boorish nature and so they see red and go green at sight of young couples:P). Further they will also love to get any extra moolah out of a vulnerable foreigner in the name of Law which may not even exist (How will the foriegner know eh?). I am sure some of them salivate at sight of white women and so get extremely jealous of any other Indian in their company. In the case mentioned in the post, all these factors combined in a altogether synergistic way. So how could the policeman stop himself eh? 
And the second case is quite legitimate. If the husband had asserted himself like the wife did, probably the result would have been the same.
Some years ago me and my father were made to stop our car and interrogated. Of course following factors contributed:
1) We are a bit fair skinned. (Indian altogether)
2) I being an careless engineering student in those days had an unkempt few months old beard
3) I always have a weird blank expression.
4) With that expression I was casually looking at the approaching police checkpost.
5) City was on high alert due to some reason or other.
And yeah all ya
‘ARGHHHHumentative Indians” above, wait till the day corrupt police burn your bermudas
Sheesh! Arguing just to get silly ego kicks!
Wait your ego does deserve to be kicked. Real hard.
You are defending based on cruelties of Australians in general? Sure what you mentioned in your arguments is all eeeeevil. But pot calling kettle black doesn’t make the kettle white if it is really black, whether the pot be black blue or vibgyor
It does not make a sound argument. Only noise argument. Noise is a sound, but that quip of mine has no real significance
In fact who was bad first is a chicken and egg question that fuels all the wars of the world
I think I should stop this rant now. Your pathetic arguments don’t even deserve this much attention.
Lol……..Stupidosaur ends his argument saying:
“”"”"Your pathetic arguments don’t even deserve this much attention.”"”"”
Hahahhahaha…….after giving LONG ATTENTION this moron realized this.hahahahaha……..good hypocrisy.
“”"”"”"But pot calling kettle black doesn’t make the kettle white if it is really black, whether the pot be black blue or vibgyor “”"”"”"”"
If kettle calls pot black…….then pot will also call kettle black……….
No argument would have taken place if Kettle had not called pot black in the first place………
All countries are BLACK…….it will be good if we shut the hell up and worry more about our respective countries…..without finger pointing ….!!
“”"”wait till the day corrupt police burn your bermudas
”"”"”
Even if that happens, that will be MY PROBLEM with MY COUNTRY’S POLICE………not anyone else’s.
Other’s shouldnot interfere.
“You are defending based on cruelties of Australians in general? Sure what you mentioned in your arguments is all eeeeevil. But pot calling kettle black doesn’t make the kettle white if it is really black, whether the pot be black blue or vibgyor ”
Exactly. Nobody is defending anything. Just saying that no human being is really fit to give lectures on racism, whether Indian or Australian. Because every society is racist in its own way. But such nice civil words are for civilized guys who can digest conflicting opinions, not for people like Mishra. Just take the trouble of reading through every comment before you start yapping.
“Arguing to get ego-kicks.”
Funny. That’s what I was thinking about you
Anthia, I read the link about your husband that was provided here by another commenter and I want to offer you my sincere condolences. What you and your children have gone through is amongst one of the worst things that can happen to human beings. Do you have any idea at all who or what might have been behind his death? When you went to India with him do you recall seeing anyone following him or perhaps hearing from family members about an old grudge someone may have held against him or old jealousies?
That some people here like Gori Girl and others have insinuated that you were crazy or of not sound mind due to your justifed rage that has arisen out of intense grief is just amongst the most inhumane and uncompassionate attitudes I have ever witnessed in my life.
God forbid if something tragic like this were to happen to them. I wonder how well they would hold up?
Just the fact that you are able to talk about it and discuss it on the internet is proof of your inner strength.
I pray that justice will be brought about you reach the closure that you seek.
Ms Mishra,
Sincerest condolences on your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine how devastating such an event was. I hope you and your family get some closure soon.
That said, I do think that the stereotyping and name calling is simply uncalled for.
Goridevi (aka white Godess) ,
I don’t see any supporting evidence to your claim about Gorigirl. Things seem to have gotten out of control only after Ms Mishra started well I am not sure what to call it, may be grief driven irrational angst? I think some commenters especially Sharell handled the situation exceptionally well, considering the implications of the accusations made.
Thank you AM. This is quite a difficult matter, which I wasn’t too sure at all how to handle. It’s one thing to be grief driven but another to start offending other readers.
Goridevi, just for your information, Anthia believes that the Indian police murdered her husband. As she wrote a number of comments above. ” The police lied to me and I know that they murdered him along with the hotel people….. I think sometimes they killed him because he lived with me in australia and he became Australian citizen….why are they killing someone for their religion and caste?” (I’ve edited out quite a bit of the other detail that she wrote, but you can read it for yourself if you scroll up). Obviously, it’s a very distressing situation because she hasn’t been able to get proper answers about her husband’s death.
” Goa is Not a Good Place for Indian-Foreigner Couples ”
by the title, i must assume that you have done extensive resarch on this issue…listened to many cases…( so it must be true… )….
it was very good of you to handle the situation ( with the policeman ) in a bold manner…..but still , be a little careful….goa is still a relatively peaceful place….there are places far more hazardous….!!
Hi Monty, as you can tell from the post it’s not based on research, it’s based on my personal experience. I’ve had no problems at all when I’ve been to Goa by myself/with other foreigners. Neither has my husband had problems when he’s been there with his friends or Indian ex-girlfriend.
you sound biased towards Ronny. okay
And PGB you are obviously one of those rich little boys with a computer in his hands who has time on his hands while mummy makes your food and washes your backside
Anthia — please, no more personal attacks on people! If I sound biased it is because you are directly insulting people. It’s one thing to have a debate, but another to say derogatory things about people. As far as I’m aware, PGB lives in a totally different country to his family.
@ Sharell
In the last few years in Goa, there is an influx of foreign prostitutes, especially from East European countries. Seeing an Indian guy (your husband) with a white woman (you) at night, the police assumed what is usual in Goa. He probably expected a bribe so that you can go ‘scot free’. You changed the tables by coming out and challenging the police, who then realised that you were a genuine couple, not a prostitute and her client. It is just a case of ethnic profiling than any actual racism.
Goans generally aren’t targeted with this problem much, as European-Goan couples are a lot more common than Caucasian-Indian couples.
Goodness, a prostitute, now I’ll be sure to wear my mangal sutra (sindoor and bindi!) next time I’m in Goa with my husband!!
Here’s my contribution to the ruckus (hopefully you will concede my comment):
Ronny and PGB, the topsy turvy toads, probably lost their jobs in the recession–or simply are mama’s boys–who are trolling here to start online conflagrations.
Their assiduous pursuits to denigrate anyone who has the slightest critique of India–that raucous, misogynistic, patriarchal part of the planet I was raised in–suffices to show that they are nothing more than polemic, pugnacious, pricks (just to stay with “P”)…and nothing less than a complete failure of the human intellect.
The kind of altercation you, Sharell, unfortunately had with the cops is more prevalent in India than people think. Happens to Muslims, other minorities, and possibly to anyone who does not work for the government (my dad did, which is why he would throw a “title” at the cops to shut them up). These are typical incidents in India, when viewed from afar, would seem to violate every prerogative westerners hold dear.
As I have said in previous posts, India’s philosophies regarding civil rights, women’s rights, civilized discourse, “freedom of speech,” and racial equality are poorly evolved: which is why people like Ronny act like dumb animals, even to widows.
PS: I am not sure why you would steadfastly oppose any criticism of India or support gruesome boneheads like Ronny. Seriously, have you seen one good post from that category-five moron?
Anthia Mishra’s story was indubitably poignant, to say the very least.
etx214087012/DDN( Darkest Dude Never)
“”who are trolling here to start online conflagrations. “”
Do u want OFFLINE one??…come over here.
Its YOU who is doing all the trolling here….Mr.”mofo”…..let me expose u
SHARELL PLZ LOOK AT THIS LINK…….how this monkey of an animal GOT BANNED from Gorigirl’s blog
http://gorigirl.com/indianfied-chicken-pot-pie
Did u forget MR.JERK how u got BANNED FROM GORI-GIRL’S blog????
Mr.Troll…..people like u are not born in trees….people like u SWING FROM THEM (monkey).You went to a dog show and WON.
“”"”"which is why people like Ronny act like dumb animals, even to widows. “”"”"”
i have seen lots of animals…….but never in my life did i ever see a SHAMELESS ANIMAL like u……..
“”"”These are typical incidents in India, when viewed from afar, would seem to violate every prerogative westerners hold dear. “”"”"
We DONT GIVE A DAMM what “westerners hold dear”…..”KALE ANGREEZ” is the term best suited for u…….
SHARELL PLZ LOOK AT THIS LINK…….how this monkey of an animal GOT BANNED from Gorigirl’s blog
http://gorigirl.com/indianfied-chicken-pot-pie
LOOK AT THE COMMENT SECTION.
How this asshole ABUSED ALL YOUR friends.
“”Seriously, have you seen one good post from that category-five moron?”"
Mr.LEVEL ONE “intellectual idiot” STOP SHEDDING YOUR “FAKE” TEARS for this woman.
Your mentality is VERY WELL EXPOSED in the comment section of the link i provided.
“”Seriously, have you seen one good post from that category-five moron?”"
We are also SEARCHING for “one good post” from a category-one “INTELLECTUAL IDIOT” “ANTI-INDIA JERK” like you.
U dont have the BALLS to utter these things ANYWHERE ELSE in India’s blogosphere. Bcoz u know u will get a THRASHING OF YOUR LIFETIME if u do.
“”patriarchal part of the planet I was raised in–”"
Mr.Darkest Dude NEVER does not like “”patriarchal part of the planet”".
He needs to see a DOMINATRIX…….
lol
“Ronny and PGB, the topsy turvy toads, probably lost their jobs in the recession–or simply are mama’s boys–who are trolling here to start online conflagrations.
Their assiduous pursuits to denigrate anyone who has the slightest critique of India–that raucous, misogynistic, patriarchal part of the planet I was raised in–suffices to show that they are nothing more than polemic, pugnacious, pricks (just to stay with “P”)…and nothing less than a
complete failure of the human intellect. ”
Excellent. You have a great imagination. Polemic,pugnacious,pricks!!!
Like your earlier drivel, this is another load of crap from a low IQ imbecile with nothing constructive to do. But atleast have the decency not to write all this on someone else’s platform. Create your own blog. “Indiaaasuxx” would be a great title, don’t you think?
And for all your professed values and freedom from India’s “drawbacks”, you embody the Indian trait I loathe the most. The inability to digest conflicting opinions. The one who gets all jumpy when someone doesn’t conform to his philosophy. It is what makes you all jumpy and causes you to hurl personal insults like “topsy-turvy toads” and “gruesome boneheads”. I’m really grateful such Indians left. Please don’t come back. You’re doing us a huge favour.
Sigh. I’m closing this for comments now. Let’s all focus on the fun Ganpatti festivities!
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