I heard chanting, and saw a large group of people emerge from the apartment building. They were carrying something colourful through the courtyard. Since the Ganesh Chaturthi festival is on at the moment, thought it must be a Ganpatti statue being taken away for immersion. I eagerly looked out of the window, hoping to catch a better glimpse.
However, instead of seeing the cheerful face of Lord Ganesh, I saw the impassive face of a deceased body. The people were mourners, parading the body on its way to be cremated. I was shocked and disturbed.
For me, the public display of death in India is one of the most confronting things I’ve encountered here. More confronting than poverty. I’d never seen a dead body, let alone one with the face exposed, before coming to India.
I guess I find it so confronting because it’s a blatant reminder that we are not, in our current form, immortal. One day, my mother and father will resemble that dead person on the stretcher. I will too.
In the West, like most things, death is a much more private affair. Rarely do we get to see the dead body, even at the funeral. It’s usually kept locked away in the casket. Sometimes, it’s hard to imagine that the body of the loved one is really in there.
My husband, as the eldest son, is going to have to perform the funeral rites when his father passes away. This includes lighting the funeral pyre. I just can’t imagine how traumatic it will be. Initially, I was viewing it from husband’s perspective. But I’ve realised that I’ll probably have to see the body at some stage. Just thinking about it is upsetting me.
There’s no point dwelling on it now though. I’ll have to deal with it when the time comes. Hopefully, by that time, I’ll have become a lot more comfortable with the concept of death in India.
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That is really tough. I suppose when it’s what you’re used to seeing though, it stops bothering you after a while.
I guess it would be hard to see your parent’s dead body and perform the funeral rites. When my husband’s dad died, he was unable to get to India quickly enough, and even though he’s the only son, he missed out on it. It was really hard for him. But it’s something we all have to go through eventually…
Hey Sharell
You know i purposefully dont look at dead bodies . It scares the hell out of me.
You see ,when somebody dies in India, entire neighbourhood joins in. Everyone joins the mourning irrespective of the differences they might have had with the person when they lived. It simply means publicly “Bury the hatchet” once the person is dead.
Have you noticed that once a person dies…..everyone wears WHITE. This white-the symbol of peace- symbolizes just this.
Actually I was there when my dad performed the funeral rites after his dad passed away. Of course I was more worried about throwing the “Rolex” into the grave. (In some parts of the country, you will have to dispose certain personal things of the person along with the body.)
And it’s not exactly “Bury the Hatchet” for the wife of the deceased. You will have to be well traveled to know that.
I have often wondered about this too. In the west I think people try and soften the harsh edges of death with the use of funeral parlors(affording some privacy),undertakers to dress up the body, and preserve it( with formaldehyde) for a few days until family and friends have had a chance to say final goodbye’s. Given the hot weather in India, and non-use of preservatives,it is a practical matter to dispose of the body, without much delay.
If practices similar (to the west)emerged in India, a vast amount of resources would have to be tied up… not something that makes sense in India.
However, Indian families do go through a 13 day mourning period with many rituals to ease their entry back into normal day to day activities.
As for viewing the body of the deceased, in any culture, I think it is a form of therapy and a way to know that the spirit of the person you love has gone from it’s human shell. For me, burying my father in the earth, per his wishes, was horrible, but being able to see his body and know that it wasn’t really him anymore made it easier.
In the mean time, it is good to remember to love your loved ones as much as you can and appreciate the time you have together.
I do not understand western ethics. You guys eat meat like a lot, and then spend crazy money on pets. And after killing 60 million people in World War you talk of human rights. After colonising the world, you talk of democracy. After crucifying christ, you cant see dead body.
Um… maybe we’re learning from the past and trying to improve?
I don’t know if you’ve observed the whole procession. You’ll find a lots of shocking practices (I mean, Shocking for you). The body is carried publicly to the grave yard in a procession fashion where only men carry (on shoulders) and walk with the body and women are stop right at the street. From where I’m from, we also pay a bunch of street people to dance and play drums in front of the procession. Except for them everyone will be sad and these guys also get paid to get drunk before dancing. I don’t remember the reason but that’s how it is done.
Also after the elder son/husband is lights the pyre, the body can suddenly sit up, freaking the hell out of people. This is because the muscles contract from the sudden heat. (Imagine this! Anyone standing next to the graveyard will get nightmares. Typically people are on their feet ready to run) The graveyard guy then hits the body with a stick to lay it down.
Sorry if the details are too gruesome.
My God, it is gruesome and somewhat bizarre!! For once in my life, I’m thankful that I’m a woman, and will be spared from most of it.
Hi! I am from Europe. We actually put the body in the funeral parlor and everybody can say good-bye. Usually the coffin is open so that ppl can see the whole body. A twenty years ago the dead body was put on public display in the house. So everybody would come to the home and see the deceased. Nowadays, this practice is forbidden. (I guess the body would start to stink or something)
Personally, I do not have a problem to see the body of a dead person. I have already seen a couple of them. Maybe if you are not used to it, it can be a little bit scary, but after all everybody is mortal.
After describing something gruesome I thought I will tell this. This was reported in newspapers sometime back.
A family concluded that their old man had passed away after attempts to wake him up in the morning failed. The family were not surprised as it was something they were expecting. A ceremony was arranged quickly and by evening they were carrying the old man’s body in a procession to grave yard with band music. Suddenly the dead man sits up confused asking where he was. And the whole party ran screaming dropping the old man. It seems the man had fainted earlier and woke up to the band music.
And there were many instances where the relatives had gathered for death and had been crying next to the body, the dead person suddenly wakes up freaking every one out.
Three reasons why these incidents happen: 1) People don’t call doctor to confirm death. They just conclude if someone doesn’t wake up he is dead 2) They are always expecting old people to die anytime 3) No one double checks after the first one concludes the person is dead and starts bawling. They just join them.
This ties in with the word ‘Pariah’
In tamil language,
Paray means announcer ( of death )
The death drummers and death dancers are from the Pariah caste
and this work is believed to be bad karma, even though they get money for it
In Varanasi, the Dom ( cremation caste ) extorts a lot of money
about Rs.50,000
The Dom rajah is very rich, but the work is considered bad karma
Raju:
That was hilarious! (and true)
In Africa in the old days, dead bodies were simply left on the savannah for the lions to consume. This is very environmentally friendly since nothing gets wasted and no use of chemicals or preservatives is required.
It also depends on the person’s religious beliefs. For example if you go to a Catholic funeral in India, it can be very similar to a Catholic funeral in the United States or Western Europe. Among Hindus who belong to the Lingayat caste, the body is buried in a seating position.
So there are diverse funeral customs across India.
When my grandfather died, I felt the need to see its body. I wash shocked and relieved at the same time, because that dead body was not him. The flesh, the shape of the face was not the same. It was just an empty body, a vessel. His spirit and my memories of him were somewhere else. While it was hard to realise he was truely gone, it was a relief to see the body that would be burried was not him… if that makes any sense.
Cecy, it actually does make quite a bit of sense when you put it like that. When I think about it that way, viewing the dead body could be a really positive thing. I know when I go to funerals of loved ones I’m always caught up in memories of them when they were alive. Maybe if I’d seen their deceased body their funeral wouldn’t be so difficult to deal with.