Indians Ruining It for Other Indians

by Sharell on September 16, 2009

in Adjusting to India, Culture Shock in India

Last night, my husband, friend and I caught up with another friend who was visiting from Kolkata. We went to his hotel to collect him from his room. To my surprise, we were stopped by the staff at the front desk.

“Sorry but you can’t go up”. “Kyaa?“. “Yes, we are sorry but we can’t allow you to all go up to the room. You’ll have to wait here”. The friend who was with us had already visited the other friend in his room a couple of times, so it wasn’t like the staff were unfamiliar with him.

“What’s the problem?” I inquired. Our friend was paying over 3,000 rupees per night for his hotel room. Yet, he wasn’t allowed to have other people in his room for five minutes? “We are sorry madam, but it’s the rules”. Ah, the rules. “Well show me where it’s written then”. The staff failed to produce any written rules, so I ignored them and proceeded to the room anyway. They did nothing to stop me. My husband is very placid and didn’t want to make a bigger scene than what I already had, so he remained in the lobby. (I’m sure, I must often be a source of embarrassment to him!).

Of course, our friend wasn’t impressed when I mentioned to him what happened. He promptly went down to the lobby, told the staff off, and brought my husband back to the room.

Now, I’m wondering what behaviour must have gone on in the past for the hotel to introduce such a rule. Could it be that I seemed like a prostitute, going to the room with a group of Indian guys? I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s happened before.

Earlier this year, when another friend was visiting from Delhi, my husband, friend’s brother and I were heading up to his business class hotel room in Bandra. A male guest stopped us in the lobby and asked if I was a prostitute. It turned out that the guy was with a prostitute, which he was taking to his hotel room. Obviously, he thought a white one would be better. (You don’t want to know what choice Hindi I uttered on that occasion!)

When my husband and I were visiting Delhi, a few years ago before we were married, one budget hotel in Paharganj refused to let him on the premises. Apparently, Indian men had been coming into the hotel, making nuisances of themselves, and hassling the foreign guests.

Then, of course there’s the difficulty Indians have to face when traveling, and getting visas to visit other countries. Requirements are strict, and in many cases the applicant has to apply in person. I’ve read that a lot of this has to do with the immigration risk that Indians pose. Many of them have, in the past, visited family in other countries and knowingly overstayed their visas.

It’s all such a shame because there are so many decent Indians. Yet, everyone else has to suffer because of the bad behaviour of the rest.

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{ 101 comments… read them below or add one }

B. Kaur December 7, 2009 at 11:13 pm

Wow… a lot of heated up conversations here :-)

Well I just wanted to give my 2 cents by saying that sexual assault does happen everywhere. There is no America is better than India in this case. I’ve been living in New York ever since a child and I can name NUMEROUS occasions of such cases, not only media reported but personally experienced events. Just recently, my best friend was traveling in the cramped up subway to go to her office in the City in the morning and a man tried to touch/rub her thighs and inner parts!!! This is just a couple of months ago. This is just one example of many many more.
However, yes, we all have to agree that the system here is better to handle a situation, which is why I can understand why someone would say that America is better for a female than India. For example, if I was traveling alone in New York City at say 11pm and God forbid something happened, I could very easily call 911 and the police would come right away to my safety whereas in India, anything could happen to me, I would have nowhere to turn to and no one would even know. Even the filing a complaint process would be tedious and horrifying.

But guys, we all have to realize that India has been independent and on its own feet to make its own systems for MERELY 60 years whereas the US for example has been on its own for over 200 years!!!! Give India 200 years and then see the change. India has come a LOOONNNGGGG way from 1947 to 2009, which is why we can see even more and more beautiful hearted people like Sharell in India’s cities. Even personally speaking, I see such a drastic difference in the lifestyle of my cousin sister living in India today and my elder sister’s life back in the 80’s. India is progressing and it is all visible.

However, even more importantly everyone, I don’t think it’s right to just point fingers at each other. I believe that all the countries can learn from each other. I was born in India but grew up in New York since I was about 11. I truly respect both the countries because I believe both have its positives and negatives. I’m thankful to India for giving me such beautiful culture and values which I live and cherish even today and I’m thankful to the US for giving me an open mind to accept every culture because I grew up among the Latinos, the Blacks, the Russians, the Whites and more. As someone wise once said, “Learn team work from the Japanese, Precision from the Germans, Presentation and Marketing from the Americans, Frankness and Warmth from the Africans, Etiquette and Manners from the British and Human and Spiritual Values from the Indians.”

Instead of focusing on the negatives of others, let’s look within ourselves to see how we can improve. I love India and I know it has a lot to improve on but I also know that it is improvING. I just pray that the culture and values don’t get lost on the way to becoming a modern Indian. God Bless…

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