I decided to go to my recently discovered favourite place again — the garden behind Inorbit mall — before doing the grocery shopping this afternoon. Knowing from experience that there would be a good chance of me receiving unwanted male attention, I went armed with some new street Hindi.
Chal nikal. Ek dega kaan ke niche. (Get lost. I’ll give you one below the ear).
Speaking like this is quite foreign to me, and not just because I’m a foreigner in this city. I’ve never spoken to anyone in such a way in my life. However, I have to do what I have to do here!
Sure enough, not long after I’d settled in to lying under a tree in the sunshine, a guy approached. I opened my eyes and saw him standing a short distance away, looking at me. Since I feel happy, healthy and capable at the moment, I was grateful to the marauding men of Mumbai for giving me the opportunity to try out my newly acquired vocabulary. I was very curious to see what response I’d get.
The guy kept looking at me. He inched closer. “Hello madam, any problem?” What a strange thing to ask, I thought. He was dressed in tracksuit pants, and was clearly not one of the security staff or garden caretakers.
“No”, I told him and shut my eyes again. I hoped that would be the end of it, but of course it wasn’t. He started saying something in Hindi about my chappals (shoes).
“Kyaa chahiye?”, I asked him. (What do you want?). “Kuch nahi (nothing)”, he replied as he sat down uninvited closely beside me. Sigh. Why sit down next to me if you don’t want anything, I thought. Only one thing to say then! “Chal nikal“. I glared at him and waved my arm at the same time, as if to shoo him away.
Amazingly, he promptly got up and removed himself without another word. Shame, because the best was yet to come!
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Oh yes, ifucanreadthisthenur2close, I know!
Nikaal would be telling the person to remove something (not themselves!). 
Nik, you obviously lack a sense of humour as you seem to have overlooked the humourous nature that this post was intended to have. Furthermore, as a male, I don’t expect you to understand what it’s like to receive unwanted attention on a daily basis, and have hands all over you when you don’t want them to be. I ignore beggars but it only seems to encourage them to keep tapping me on the leg, arms, and head with their filthy hands to get my attention. It is not pleasant. You have no idea what it is like to be a female in India (especially a white one), so I think you should reserve judgment. Speak from experience, or not at all!
You also seem to have overlooked my positive post about what attracts me to India, so please don’t write sweeping generalisations that every single one of my posts is negative. I write about my experiences here, good and bad. It is unfortunate that I have been experiencing plenty of bad ones lately. I’ve still tried to balance it out though. And obviously, I still see enough good in India to want to keep living here. Can’t say the same for you though.
Well done!
You could actually use “Chal Nikal” at most times. It’ll work, because these fine examples of Indian men are wimps trying their luck, so they’ll usually back off at the first sign of resistance, especially when there are other people around. You might never have to use the “Ek dega kaan ke neeche” bit.
Of course, on a lonely stretch of road, these same men suddenly develop a lot more courage and might need to be Maced, but I suppose that’s a universal story.
Cheers,
Quirky Indian
You make me laugh with visions of that, Quirky Indian. It kind of sounds like having to subdue a rabid animal!
Quirky will always be just that. Quirky. Humour at its best. Men are rabid. But of course.
Haha!
Hi Sharell,
Firstly Hope you guys are in good health by now !!
Thanks you replied back you gave me respect i`m honoured….
i believe in [b] “If you want respect you will have to give respect” [/b]
Back to Topic
I live in Mumbai and i am Indian man (25 wheatish 5′11 who still thinks he is 18).I Have
to agree daring is in our DNA but not all have attitude of street romeo like
STicky killer stare eyes + Approaching and when asked kya chiyaee ?Bummber replies
Nothing lol i thik i missed that part while speed reading blog!!!
Point is How often does an indian see a Foreigner light coloured attractive girl ?
It’s like once in Blue moon.Think like you are an celebrity.
I guess you must be like gone use to it when plls do light stare on you.
Let me tell you it’s kind a like Every guy [let it be indian,asian,Caucasian] will
definately give a stare to attractive atleast once! I m Kind a hollywod fan and
i too do that but just single look say “she’s Hot nothing more”
” I apologize to you for all light stare we do But we are Guys ”
Now.
I bet you are Smiling
BWT GUy was pwned “what you want ?” reply Nothing
Perfect FAIL i think m still laughing while imaging the scene
And have to agree with what u did was Right !
Omg i cann’t breath m still laughing at the scene
Peace Out and Get well Soon ……
Rahul
“Point is How often does an indian see a Foreigner light coloured attractive girl ?”
… How often to Indian women get to see a foreigner light coloured attractive man?
Yet do they stalk and surround the goras in the parks?
How do Indian women express their interest in the tourist and ex-pat males that roam about India?
I think women generally prefer men on the darker skin shade then light.
As for stalking, I have known women to stalk a man they like. But in their own style and place.
I don’t think a guy who automatically associates a ring with an engaged/married woman would be the type who stalks women. Sindoor would be a better bet for such guys, usually the ‘Rajus’ from the BIMARU states of India. (No offence to anyone named Raju).
In response you clearly asked me as it’s right next to my comment
Before you read further Why u seems so offended !And pissed off !
I have just expressed my views on topic and
How often to Indian women get to see a foreigner light coloured attractive man?
Ask them[Indian Women] not me I`m straight
Yet do they stalk and surround the goras in the parks?
Ask them not me .They might may be !
I can express what guys do .There are guys who have limts and the one who are like weeds.
You asking question on what women wants to wrong guy !!!!!!
My be some India Girl can give response to that but i feel The way they re raised by parents ….Here it’s like You start to love your partner after
Marriage. Still marriage are based on like HE belongs to good family ok
wealthy+well educated a plus point. And parents agreee .Tey say girl
here is pic of you husband u like it !!! better like him hahahha
So i doubt if GIRL from good family would even approach Gora u talking about! MAy be hey meet and Love at first sight who knows
LOve is Blind
How do Indian women express their interest in the tourist and ex-pat males that roam about India?
Well in generalization i can say approach them “Begin with Hi”
Have to be confident No one likes Bummer.
Approach in proper place Not Park atleast coz level of difficulty will be
Extremely Hard Maximum
Start a light conversation and guess the level of his/her interest in you.
If he/she is interested in you definately it will be a good one.
MOst importantly look for ring
PS : Note Generalization The term i used !!
BWt if you don’t like my Comments Plz pass It was never intended for you Dear !!!
Sorry No offences to anyone!
@ Abdullah K.
Thanks man for your comment specially for cheche you are the witness .
Let me tell you uptill now I haven’t seen a foreign girl married to desi puts Sindoor
Usually they prefer Rings may be
Sharell Can en light us By do she prefers Sindoor.i guess No
Some how i have talent to guess i might be wrong!!
“I think women generally prefer men on the darker skin shade then light.”
Indian women want fair and handsome. Not darkies.
^^^
Whatever. It’s their choice. Just as many Westerners regard Indians as ” inferior” and prefer men/women of the same colour. Why do you seem so pissed?
Anyway, another kick-ass Bbay dialogue is : “Ghar mein maa behen nahin hai kya? (don’t you have a mother or any sisters?)
I guess it’s a kind of stereotype. White women are usually considered as “being of easy virtue”. A lot of it has got to do with the impressions we in India get of the west. Such as tabloid reports about Hollywood artistes, news about broken families and teenage pregnancies, and Hollywood flicks themselves. White women are considered promiscous and I suppose it makes such ppl want to try their luck
.
It’s just like how many white people still think Indians are all partially evolved Neanderthals with dysfunctional spinal-cords. It’s because most of the news they get about India is about dowry deaths, female infanticides and malnourished, lungi-clad villagers dancing with snakes.
Both classes are narrow-minded and are not inclined to broaden their horizons. Or maybe it applies to humans in general??
Given what I have observed, I find that hard to believe.
The emergence of men’s fairness creams in the Indian market doesn’t mean that Indian women developed a craving for lighter skinned men. If anything, it means that corporates found an opportunity to make some more money and are cashing on it. Enter sponsored surveys that want dark skinned men to believe that “75% of women from XYZ prefer fair complexioned men”. And wait till insecure men fall for it and start buying tubes and tubes of ‘fairness’ creams.
Up to an extent, a similar corporate propaganda drives the female fairness cream market as well. Does anyone honestly believe that a beautiful woman is going to be rejected as a model, actress or an air hostess just because of a darker skin?
Akshay, you left out an important piece of that translation (don’t you have a mother or sisters IN THE HOUSE?!).
Anyway, I’m definitely adding it to my vocabulary. Thank you! Ah, gotta love Bombay Hindi. 
It’s humans in general, for sure. Abdullah intelligently summed it up just recently in another post (the one on Indians and racism) by saying:
How do Indian women express their interest in the tourist and ex-pat males that roam about India?
Talk in broken English with irritating American accent
“Hi, I’m XYZ. Welcome Ind-yeah. Which countrrry sirrr???”
Bemused Tourist : I hope this is India .
You’re right Rahul, us western girls prefer wedding rings to sindoor. For me, a wedding ring is personally meaningful to me. (It comes back to that culture thing again!). I tried to wear sindoor a few times to family gatherings but found it messy to put on. And it couldn’t be seen anyway, because I part my hair on the side. I do like to wear bindis though. I’ll also wear a mangal sutra at times, but mostly only to family functions. I wear toe rings all the time though. And bangles sometimes. I find wearing too much jewelry irritating though. It gets in the way!
Oh, and I’m very glad my husband always wears a wedding ring too!
Speaking of Mangal sutra , it is called a ‘licence’ in mumbaiya slang. General rule is people wont look at you from that ‘angle’ if you carry (hang )your ‘licence’
Next time when you visit the park , take your licence with you. I bet no one will come near you.
Oh! And I have not worn a wedding ring in the 25 years I have been married.. after forgetting it in the bathroom, and loosing a couple, I just found them a pain to wear! Many women in the US have mistaken my marital status, and surprised to find I am married to the same lady, but without a ring!
So a conversation beginning with a garden behind Inorbit mall turns to wedding rings. Sweet.
@Ramit Come oN guys !! Are you teasing me lol…… I was the one to start it ! Honestly if you do web research Ring this definately comes to Mind coz it’s one of western culture
and it’s Good.
@ Che Che
Sorry I was not in good mood yesterday and may be you too hence you gave Answer to my Question as Question for Question!
If if hurt you by my words Forgive me if u can !!
Raat gai Baat gai [Night has passed so let the matter go ]
Hope we are good !
Peace Out I like you …
@Akshay
Your last comment ……
Foreigner do Understand English we speak .No need to fake accent.
Bemused Tourist knows he/she is in India ,You know where you are so why the crap?
How do Indian women express their interest in the tourist and ex-pat males that roam about India?
In My view A simple conversation can score in this like say approach
Excuse me [pause] …..(tourist)Yes and
[ u say] I noticed you and just wanted to meet you !
Bam you can take conversation from there to any direction!
I have ability to guess mood of person but if you do it on wrong moment like when he/she is frustrated Then it will Backfire and you will be Scewed!
SharellJi allow me to corrupt your Hindi vocabulary a little bit
Word “Ji” pronounced as “gee” Like if you are with inlaws you can say
momJI or papaJI (father in law) the “JI” kind a gives an additional respect.[Respect in sense u treating them as elders]
Works with UncleJi ,WatchmanJi virtually everywhere with name !
**Warning don’t you this magical “JI” never on Hubby coz it doesn’t fit in there.
Google is your best Friend you can find lots of Indian slang meaning
and Bombay Hindi words hahahah.
“Oh, and I’m very glad my husband always wears a wedding ring too!”
That shows how much He loves you and he even respects the Cultural
you know!
You are Lucky to have understanding Husband like that !You understand him ,He understands you Thats the One of STRONGEST pillar of
Successful Marriage !Made for Each other from Heaven.
I am single all i said is from Experience i gained from Internet ,I kind a do lots of research!!!
Sorry for long post i make will try to shorten up in future but all comes
Direct from Heart! I have so much to say
I thing enough for today
Have a Happy Weekends
Peace Out
Rahul
I read my post and just noticed
Gee not to sound like Ghee [which is unsalted butter]
Ji= Gi [has to sound like G in medium long extended ]
Damm it
Ask your husband i think he can explain better way! I tried …
Hi Rahul, I know I’m very fortunate. My husband is like my best friend, and me like his. Somehow, we just manage to meet perfectly in the middle (although we do of course have cultural clashes at times — such as when I get frustrated over him wanting to stop and ask for directions, which usually turn out to be wrong, all the time).
It’s so lovely how his wedding ring has such meaning to him (he says he never wants to take it off). I’m very lucky. I’d be a little upset if he was one of those men who didn’t like wearing a wedding ring (we have them in the west too, don’t worry Boston123).
Oh, I know all about “ji”. It is a very useful word. Sometimes, I use it when I meet an older, well respected person for the first time. “Namaste ji”.
As for speaking English, if only Indians would understand my Australian accented English. I’ve had to adopt a rather ridiculous sounding melodious Indian accent to be understood here. And speak slowly. If only Hindi speakers would return the favour to me, and speak slowly!
Rahul, it was a general comment not pointed at anyone in particular but thanks for noticing.
Appreciate it. 
Nice guy you got there Sharell who wants to wear his wedding ring all the time. If only my wife could say that about me!
As a woman I can imagine how infuriating it must be to be ogled at or hassled, each time you step out of the house but maybe as some readers have pointed out wearing some more obvious ” signs of marriage” may alleviate the problem to some extent, Sharell. Have you tried discussing this with your husband?
In the same vein, I wonder if you are aware that hassling and passing of racist comments occurs in Australia too, to a noticable extent and though it is of a different nature to the kind faced by you, it can be just as irritating. Many Indians and others asians like Chinese face this, though it is not gender-based, men and women can get it in equal doses. BUT we too have learned to give as good as we get to passing comments or loud shouts at traffic lights e.g. ” go back to your country” or ” curry munchers” to the Indians and ” slopies” and ” chinkies” to the Chinese.
My children who were born here, have faced these racist comments too!! Once a kindly looking old lady came up to my son as he was parking his car, with Hindi Bhangra music playing on his sound-system and told him to start listening to English music in Australia, in loud & rude bigoted words. My son having grown up here, retaliated with such choice words that I think she will cross the road next time she sees an Indian person.
Thus you see, you should face up to those ogling men bravely as you have been doing upto now and not give it a second’s thought. Just think, In Australia at least you don’t face racism of the kind some of us do, just as I, in India don’t face unwelcome attentions of the magnitude you do.
Take care and have a nice trip.
I think you were very brave.
HI Sharell, Good one on ya…
I think you’re definitely very brave to try out a new country & its people. I’m Indian, my wife’s indian but we live in dubai cos my wife doesn’t like India. How hypocritical is that ??
Anyway good stuff that you’ve written. When I start to write my bloody pen (the keyboard) starts going here and there and i forget what i started to write about.
Wish I could have a writing sense just like you writers do.. (being able to explain very clearly and informatively what you want to say)..
Nice blogs….When’s the book coming out ???
Hi Jeetendra, gee, I think I’d prefer India to Dubai!
The book is under negotiation at the moment. Hopefully 2010 will bring it to fruition!
You’re writing a book? Hey no one told us!
This is something ridiculous which happens in every City. I think unless good education and thinking are made available to all such things will continue. Another reason is the closed society.
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