Civilised, Well Mannered Indians?

by Sharell on October 13, 2009

in Culture Shock in India

Photo courtesy of www.flickr.com user Paul Keller

Photo courtesy of www.flickr.com user Paul Keller

The Commonwealth Games are coming to Delhi and residents have been told by the Home Minister to improve their manners. So, what are the grievances against Dilliwalas? There are seemingly many. They include:

  • young men spitting, urinating, defecating, pushing, shoving, leering at young women.
  • pushing to the front of queues.
  • boasting loudly of one’s political or civil service connections.
  • taking seats from disabled or elderly passengers on trains.
  • throwing household rubbish onto the streets.
  • motorists who dangerously weave in and out of lines and cut off fellow motorists.
  • wedding parties jam that the roads with elephants, horses and brass bands without a care for their fellow residents.

Now, I don’t think that these example of bad manners are limited to the folk of Delhi. No matter where I go in India, I’m witness to the same behaviour. Pushing in line and having disregard for queues seems to be a favorite. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve told people, in various situations, to wait their turn and not be so bad mannered.

Every time, without fail, when I’m getting my vegetables weighed at Hypercity, an overweight auntie will walk up to the counter and try to hand her single item to the clerk for weighing — as if I’m not there! Now, I wouldn’t mind if she said, “excuse me, I only have one item, would you mind if I get it weighed?”. But no, she will barge in as if I don’t exist. Not only that, I’ve seen mothers telling their children to do it for them. Fortunately, the clerks are not accommodating and always draw their attention to the fact that there is a line.

Indian commentators have suggested that since Delhi’s rude and aggressive culture had developed over decades, it would be difficult to change in one year.

Pavan K. Varma, a senior Indian diplomat and author of Being Indian (which, by the way, I’ve read and think explains a lot of Indian behaviour) says, “the basic fact is that all Indians, by and large, lack civic sense. We keep our own yard clean but don’t give a damn about outside or the park next door. It’s the individualistic nature of Indians”.

In my view, as long as mothers fail to teach their children manners and consideration for others, the uncivilised culture will be difficult to change at all.

Take for example, the current Diwali festivities. Children have commandeered the apartment complex courtyard, right outside my window, every morning and evening for days now. They continually let off crackers and aimlessly fire Diwali guns (when they aren’t stalking residents with them) — and Diwali hasn’t even started. The noise is loud and endless. I can’t think, and I can’t write. There are laws against noise pollution, but no one seems to care. Again, mothers are encouraging children in their behaviour. The small ones who are scared of the noise are being told by their mothers not to worry.

There’s a good reason why small children are scared, and people need to pay attention to it! People need to start showing consideration for others around them. But how do they do that if they’re not taught to? Where do they learn good etiquette from?

As a friend of mine recently said to me, there are so many smart Indians who do care and have the potential to bring about change, but most of them no longer live in India. Well, I’m very glad to have learned from those who comment on my blog, that there are indeed intelligent people in India who care enough to make a difference.

Hopefully, the change will come.

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{ 155 comments… read them below or add one }

Abdullah K. March 2, 2010 at 10:09 pm

As the saying goes, “There are lies, damned lies and then there are statistics.”

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Amit Desai March 3, 2010 at 5:04 am

With regards to information technology, we say, no information is much better than inaccurate information, as inaccurate information would only lead you toward making wrong assumptions and decisions.

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Evil Cathy geminievil.blogspot.com March 3, 2010 at 4:40 pm

@Amit I know there are flaws in statistics…that is why I have only ever quoted one site/one source. And on one topic.

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Evil Cathy geminievil.blogspot.com March 3, 2010 at 7:10 pm

Oops wrong post…that will teach me to chat and try and argue with Amit at the same time…

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jay March 16, 2010 at 10:24 pm

yes i agree, havent seen many civilised well mannered indians unless sadly they are westernised. Most of them fight for reasons dat are bizzare for example they fight for this slum city called mumbai. whenever i happen to visit mumbai i realise people there have no manners they don’t even stop at traffic signals or walk on footpaths or follow lane discipline they instead spit everywhere, throw dirt everywhere, rude to any and everyone plus migrants keep coming to mumbai and stay illegally in slums. They don’t obey laws whether the law is about civic sense or any other. maybe this is the culture of this country. However its difficult to say what exactly is the culture of india bsce before the british there was no one country called India. India before 1800 was a sub-continent having differnt countries, kings, languages, currency etc. Nepal still continues to be independent and refuse to join union of india. You put a hindi, tamil, marathi, kandadiga in one room and u will realise they all have differnt kings, languages, culture, cuisine and they all need english in higher education and private sector jobs to keep the unity of India. So its difficult to sat that culture is the reason they are not well mannered or civilised since they dont have one culture which can be called indian.

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