Comment posted Answers to Questions About My Life in India #1 by Ajay Kini.
Hi Sharell, Thank you so much for your response. Well as far as PIO for my wife is concerned well I guess it is too late 
for her to apply now since I think it is given only to spouses of Indian citizens (we missed the train on that one since my Indian passport is already cancelled and I am a US Citizen now) She should have applied for a PIO before I became a US citizen I guess (we didn’t know at that time). So I guess she is stuck with 10 year tourist visa for now. May be there is a way to get her a PIO card we just don’t know that yet who knows I will have to look into that in the future. After all it is our India anything is possible (it is as we say in Hindi “Paisa bolta hai” 
everything is money there sad but true). Actually I was going to apply for OIC (Overseas Indian Citizen card) but changed my mind at the last moment since I have heard that ruins the chance of working for the US government. So I decided on PIO (By the way PIO is more expensive then OIC I have no idea why but anyway that is another Indian mysteries for us) As far as EBay goes Oh okay you still manage your banking from Australia now that makes sense and that is why you don’t deal with RBI. For an ordinary Indian like me (before I came to US) we just could not buy anything from foreign catalogues or online cause they were to be paid in $US and hence a person would have to deal with RBI as all foreign exchange were dealt by them at that time. Since we earned money in Indian Rs Since you work with a US company I guess you get paid in $US and so the transactions easy to deal with. Yep here in the US I use EBay a lot and of course pay by pay pal. Well since you still bank from Australians banks I guess it is easier to be paid in $US. Cause ordinary Indians I don’t think still can buy anything out of internet as it has to be paid in $US and it is such a hassle dealing with RBI and all that. WOW you never had to pay any duty on items from US? That is so cool. I am so happy for you. Ummm…I guess those guys at Indian customs only look for Electronics items you know like DVD’s CD/ Players etc etc. Okay question time 1) So will you be living in Mumbai forever or are you guys planning settling in Calcutta in the future? Since you guys are renting an apartment in Mumbai for now. 2) With your best guess how many inter-cultural couple live in Mumbai as per your estimation? I guess that is it for now.
AJ 
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- • Hello Sharell, Glad to know you and your hubby are feeling better:-) and as far as lice’s are concerned they don’t go easy do they?. Anyway first of all thank you so much for answering my questions I really appreciate it. I was really not expecting a separate post just about my questions WOW that is so nice of you. Thank you so much now I feel special:-). Well that is good you don’t have to travel on those trains everyday that would just be torture. In 2005 on my wife’s first trip she really wanted to try the trains and so what we decided was we take her in 1st class at off peak time with me, my dad and my cousin just formed a circle around her so there are no “ accidental touching” by the men on the train. We don’t want “sorry madam/memsab crap:-(” if you know what I mean. The staring stuff really bothered my wife too but after 40 days on her first trip to Mumbai she later told me she was getting used to it in fact later in her trip she was staring right back at them. The funny part is when women tell their husbands and they even pointed in our direction as to “ what is an Indian guy and his family doing with the foreigner” I swear to you most of the people thought I was a personal guide for a blonde girl:-). On her 2nd trip I think she was pretty comfortable with the stares she knew how to handle the situations but still she really gets upset and really does not like it at all. You really handle shopping well. Since you live there on a day to day basis now they really know you after all not many white girls come to stores in Kandivali. In case of Melodie I think her pointing to item just works for us for now. Oh yeah when she walks in a store to buy or browse she is offered cold drinks/ coffee and when I go alone I am not even offered water go figure amazing isn’t it? Anyway Question time by the way Sharell you really don’t have to answer any of my questions if you think they are too personal or if you are not comfortable answering them. If you can’t. I totally understand. No biggie. Please use your discretion. The reason I am so interested in what you face everyday is cause may be down the line (don’t know when but I am guessing in the next few years) me and my wife might have to settle in Mumbai for couple of years you know since my parents will get really old then and also I might have to return to India to help my dad close our company (I know what a sad day that will be:-() and hence all these questions.
• 1) Do you need a special Indian visa to live in India? Or are you on a tourist visa? How long is a person allowed to stay on a visa at one stretch? Melodie and I are both US citizens (US passports) she has a 10 year tourist visa for India and I have something which is called a PIO card (person of Indian origin) Yeah I know Indian government cancelled my passport since India does not allow dual citizenship. I don’t know how it is for Australia any thoughts?
• 2) Don’t remember where but somewhere on your blog I read that you like to buy your jeans pants from here in the US over E-bay? Ummm… I am a little confused so do you pay in $US? It has to be $US cause I am sure we don’t accept Indian Rupees here ummm…. may be the RBI (Reserve Bank of India they handle all foreign exchange) has relaxed it rule it was not like that when I used to live there. Also when you get these pants does India charge you customs/duty on it? The reason I am asking this is cause in 1995-1996 my best friend sent me a Michael Jackson CD from here in the US and on the US custom slip he declared the value as $US100 guess what I still remember getting a call from the courier service in Mumbai that if I wanted the CD I had to pay 100% duty/Indian custom for its release and it was Rs 3000 ( wow US$ was Rs30 back then) I was shocked in spite of it being a gift and this was 1995-1996. Of course I paid and got it released and told my friend never to send me anything EVER. He was so pissed I had to pay. I guess that is about it for now. You both take care of your health as my mom says health is wealth.
AJ
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Hello Sharell, How are you today? How is Mumbai treating you? Have you gotten rid of your lice menace yet? Hope so. How is your hubby feeling? Good I hope. WOW those colorful tablets (medicine) remind me of my childhood. Things have not changed that much since I came to the US. In 2005 on my visit to Mumbai I fell sick and I remember my parents called our family doctor at our house and he gave me some really colorful tablets and those suckers were huge too. I remember breaking the tablets in 2 (cause you can’t swallow these tablets on one shot) Anyway I have read your blog for almost 2 weeks now and know a little about your life as a white Indian housewife. Once again just can’t believe you live in Mumbai on a day to day basis. Just amazing:-o . Okay now for some questions.
1) Do you use the local trains in Mumbai? I hope not. (oh my god they are hell I remember for almost 6-8 years I used to travel on them and mind you I had a 1st class pass but we both know it does not mean a thing I was hanging at the door all the time:-o.)
2) When you walk the streets how do you ignore strangers staring at you constantly? I kid you not before the trip I was so worried about my wife and the attention she would draw from the beggars and even shopkeepers. Being a blond she really sticks out in a crowd not to mention she’s tall too compared to most Indian people.
3) How do you shop there? (We all know when a white person walks in a store the prices automatically double or quadruple) I remember in 2005 my wife’s first visit to Mumbai the prices were always different for her then for my parents or when I shopped alone hence we decided that she just point what she liked and we did all the talking.
I guess these are some of my questions I can think of for now. Oh believe me I will have more. I will post more later. You take care and take care of your hubby too.
AJ
Hi Andrea COOOOL you are from Green Bay too?? Nice. Oh my are you a packer’s fan too? My wife is just crazy about the packers (well not just her the whole family is) she has jerseys, Mugs, sweaters even a Cheese Head that she wears when the packer game is on. Even our outside grill is not spared it has packers grill cover on it. So you live in France?? Nice. My wife and I were planning on going to France (Southern France to be exact Cannes) this year but then choose to go in the Caribbean island since we have a big trip next year to Mumbai India we need all our vacation days for that.
Hi D.JAIN. You live in Northern VA too? That is so cool. May be someday we can all get together( I am sure there are more people in our area then just 2 couples who are inter cultural) and we can call it a National Inter cultural day or something. I am really new to this blog stuff. I found Sharell’s blog just recently I will check out Gori Girls blog in time too. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. - Bright Coloured Pills
Hello Sharell,
First of all let me begin by saying just a week ago by luck I came across your blog online when I was looking for some material on (inter cultural stuff) and Indian guys married to white girls and boy I am so glad that I found your blog. For the past week or so it has been a non-stop entertainment for me. Thank you. I am having so much fun with the material you are posting, the pictures, your day to day problems (not that it is fun but the way you handle it that is amazing). It just brings back my memories of my old place. My parents still live in Goregaon and my dad owns a company in Bombay Central (I am sure you know where these places are). I have so much to cover on your blog it is really informative and good source of guide for my wife. All I can say is it is really impressive and my hats off to you. Keep up the good work. Just cant believe that you live in Mumbai. Wow still cant get my head wrapped around that thought.
Allow me to introduce myself my name is Ajay (or AJ for locals) and I was born and raised in Mumbai lived there for 25 years in Goregaon came on a student visa to the US got my MBA in IBM (International Business in Marketing) and just this year I became a proud US Citizen. Well my wife’s name is Melodie. She is white and an all American girl. Born and raised in Green Bay, WI. She has a Bachelor in Fashion Merchandising. Just wanted to give you some background on us that is all. Oh we live in Northern VA it is just outside DC. WOW I have so many questions for you and will ask them as I am reading your blog as time goes by. We are coming to Mumbai next year well mine 5th trip since coming to the US and my wife’s3rd trip until then keep on posting.
Your new reader
Ajay
Ps: how do you make/insert those smiley, confused or sad faces?? I am used to the chat forums but this blog stuff is really new to me. Hence the stupid question of registering and all that did not know this gets posted instantly like forums. I was thinking you have to authorize a post or something like that. Anyway this is so cooooooollll. Now back to reading your blog. - More Fun and Games in the Garden
Hello Sharell,
Just a quick question how do I register myself to your blog?
Thanks.Ajay Kini
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He is half Russian, if i am not mistaking
That makes him an objective observer and commenter since he didnt defend the Russian nation, as we could’ve expected 
Carly: “Im rather “padded”and in my early 50’s so Im not too worried about getting much unwanted attention! lol”
Don’t LOL, Carly, it’s no laughing matter. Indian men have an “auntie fetish” and a 50 year old, well-padded lady is the stuff their fantasies are often made of (for real).
I can almost guarantee that you WILL be groped. Be careful.
CG, re: staring…
If an entire family – both male and female members, are staring at you, it’s innocent curiousity.
When a whole group of men are staring – it’s not.
I don’t wanna scare you off from travelling to and around India, but you must be EXTRA EXTRA cautious.
Generally, you will see 1 woman for every man in the busy, crowded streets and public places.
Don’t get on a train coach that is packed with men only.
It’s such an icky feeling when you have like 40 sets of eyes staring at your chest just waiting for the train to go over another bump.
I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it. Having flashbacks.
“Generally, you will see 1 woman for every man in the busy, crowded streets and public places.” SHOULD READ:
“Generally, you will see 1 woman for every 40 (forty!) men in the busy, crowded streets and public places”.
Hi Sharell, Thank you so much for your response. Well as far as PIO for my wife is concerned well I guess it is too late
for her to apply now since I think it is given only to spouses of Indian citizens (we missed the train on that one since my Indian passport is already cancelled and I am a US Citizen now) She should have applied for a PIO before I became a US citizen I guess (we didn’t know at that time). So I guess she is stuck with 10 year tourist visa for now. May be there is a way to get her a PIO card we just don’t know that yet who knows I will have to look into that in the future. After all it is our India anything is possible (it is as we say in Hindi “Paisa bolta hai” 
everything is money there sad but true). Actually I was going to apply for OIC (Overseas Indian Citizen card) but changed my mind at the last moment since I have heard that ruins the chance of working for the US government. So I decided on PIO (By the way PIO is more expensive then OIC I have no idea why but anyway that is another Indian mysteries for us) As far as EBay goes Oh okay you still manage your banking from Australia now that makes sense and that is why you don’t deal with RBI. For an ordinary Indian like me (before I came to US) we just could not buy anything from foreign catalogues or online cause they were to be paid in $US and hence a person would have to deal with RBI as all foreign exchange were dealt by them at that time. Since we earned money in Indian Rs Since you work with a US company I guess you get paid in $US and so the transactions easy to deal with. Yep here in the US I use EBay a lot and of course pay by pay pal. Well since you still bank from Australians banks I guess it is easier to be paid in $US. Cause ordinary Indians I don’t think still can buy anything out of internet as it has to be paid in $US and it is such a hassle dealing with RBI and all that. WOW you never had to pay any duty on items from US? That is so cool. I am so happy for you. Ummm…I guess those guys at Indian customs only look for Electronics items you know like DVD’s CD/ Players etc etc. Okay question time 1) So will you be living in Mumbai forever or are you guys planning settling in Calcutta in the future? Since you guys are renting an apartment in Mumbai for now. 2) With your best guess how many inter-cultural couple live in Mumbai as per your estimation? I guess that is it for now.
AJ
Hi Chee Chee, i really will be so cautious, thanks so much for all the advice! It is greatly appreciated
P.S. Hehe… i was trying to picture the image of the 40 sets of eyes looking at my chest as the train goes over bumps and it literraly made me laugh
But i wouldnt laugh as hard if i was in that situation 
Ajay, my husband works for the Navy here in DC and hasn’t been told that it will be a problem to have an OCI card. He is getting US citizenship soon (interview and test in two weeks!). If he gets a permanent position with the Navy, he’ll have to give up his Indian passport though. He already has a “Secret” security clearance even just being a green card holder. You might want to check into it.
Also, I’m pretty sure that your wife could still get a PIO card. She doesn’t have to be the spouse of an Indian citizen, just the spouse of a person of Indian origin.
No. I am an Indian.
Hi Ajay, D.Jain is right. Your wife should still be entitled to a PIO card. The rules are as follows.
I’ll answer your questions in the original post.
I travelled just once in a mumbai local train and that was it for me, everytime i’m in mumbai now i always take a taxi.
Chee Chee, why don’t you post a picture of yourself or post a blog? The way you describe yourself and the way men react to you, you must look something like Aishwarya Rai.
I do have a sneaking suspicion that you are just some old, over the hill pale white woman though
Hey Sharell..yes, I totally know about the staring thing. OMG, people would almost get into the auto just to look…they couldn’t figure out if I was Punjabi or Middle Eastern…the hazel/green eyes confused them I guess. It is very unnerving…and I found myself doing the same thing..waving and at them.
Yeah Laureen the starer!
The Indian staring habit is an annoying one even when it is not lecherous. I have caught myself doing so and I have reflected on it a lot, it is almost a reflex I would say, we can’t help it.
Only explanation I give to myself is that in Indian society every one has a role to play, whenever you meet someone you have to place him somewhere in your matrix to set your behavior. Is the other person older than me, is in higher/lower caste, status, is he from same region as me, etc. So a “prejudice” element is always present which can be unnerving (violation of privacy), harassing (lecherous staring) and even assuring (not in public but in familiar setups). There is this always an evaluation to set the social behavioral protocol. One has to embed every thing in the her/his context. This goes for a toss when a white person is seen (or for that matter any one who seems outsider or non-familiar) and this prolongated evaluation makes people stare (the harmless ones, who don’t have bad intentions)
This is what I think about the phenomenon. I don’t support/disdain it but now I proactively try not to stare at people.
Hi thequark, I like your explanation about Indian society and everyone’s roles — it’s so true people don’t know how to react when they can’t slot someone into their appropriate place in the matrix! It can be quite amusing sometimes to see their confusion.
hi Sharell, this is sachin, i do live in delhi, well i also keep thinking about the same problem that u told here on this website. i have good relation with a girl, she is from russia, now we r thinking to marry, but the problem is same, though my family, relatives, and society everything is cool , all r open minded, all r ready for our marriage, but the problem is that, when i think how we both will go to market, what will be the reaction of simple rikshaw wala, taxi driver and shopkeeper, i just do afraid of it, i can manage with her, i m ready to protect her , but still i worry a lot about her security, he speak russian and english, she is trying to learn hindi also, and i m trying to learn russian language, the problem is not my family,, indeed the problem is this cheap society, she has visited to india once, and i noticed that everyone stare at her as they never seen a girl, its very pity for indian society, i can understand how could she think that time, but i tried to make everything normal, but sometimes, it was really hard for even me to neglect the looking way of other people, i had fight also, ahah but with who who i can fight, i mean i cant stop others to not to stare at her, and when i think about it, i feel so sad, anyway, i want to know some indian marriage procedures like how to register her as indian citizen or like that, plz do help me, thanks in advance
Hi Sachin, I understand how you must be feeling, and the situation with the men in Delhi seems to be particularly bad. It makes me glad I live in Mumbai.
No doubt it will be a big adjustment for her, and you will feel inadequate to protect her from it all. It’s a tough situation. No matter how you try, you just won’t be able to make everything normal. She will have to do most of the adjusting and accept India how it is, unfortunately. It will be difficult to start off with, but will get better as she gets used to it here.
As for marriage, you’ll need to have civil ceremony at the Registrar of Marriages in your area. You’ll need to apply at least 30 days in advance of the date you want to get married. It’s not possible to become an Indian citizen so easily. I think the person has to be living in India for 9 years. The first year after marriage, she will be entitled to an X visa (a residential entry visa, without the right to work). She can then register herself with the Foreigners Regional Registration Office and get a Residential Permit. Then after one year of marriage, she can apply for a PIO (Person of Indian Origin) Card — it’s valid for 15 years and gives her the entitlements of an Indian citizen, except for voting rights and the ability to buy agricultural land.
Here’s a link to more information about getting married. http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/2008/05/how-to-legally-marry-an-indian-in-india/
Hope this helps!
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