Following on from Answers to Questions About My Life in India #1, here are some more points of interest that I’ve been asked about lately.
1) What are Indian women and men’s reaction towards you and how do they differ in their reactions? Generally, I find that Indian women are more interested in me as a person, whereas Indian men are more interested in what the image of a white woman is. When I meet Indian women, they usually ask me dozens of questions about myself, ranging from what I do during the day to what I eat. They want to get a glimpse into my life. Indian men don’t ask many questions at all. They behave in rather male manner. Sometimes, they’ll want to have their picture taken with me, or they’ll make unwanted advances, or will try and impress me. I think part of the reason why I was attracted to my husband was because when I met him, I found him so enjoyable and easy to talk to. It was a rare thing for me!
2) Do you find Indian men treat you differently to Indian women, and if so how? Indian men are more likely to want to try and please me. I find that in my daily dealings with Indian people, the men are likely to “adjust” in my favour, whereas the women won’t. Indian women aren’t as influenced, impressed, or intimidated by me. On the other hand, Indian women are very inclined to look after me and mother me. They also don’t expect me to help out as much, like they would an Indian girl. Decent Indian men will also treat me very well. My male friends are quite protective of me even.
3) Lastly, what do Indian people really think of western girls? The general preconceptions that they have of western girls, that is. Unfortunately, the stereotype of western girls is prominent in the minds of many Indian people. They think that western girls go around having sex freely with lots of men, western girls are immoral, and western girls have lots of money (which is the perception about white people in general). They also often expect that western girls won’t know how to cook and keep a house. It’s these last couple of preconceptions that bother me the most. The others I can understand, because most of the views that Indian people have about western girls come from what they see in movies. However, I was actually quite shocked (and dare I say, even a little offended) to discover that people thought I’d wouldn’t be able to cook or clean. What Indians don’t often realise is that having servants is not a part of everyday life in the west. It’s only a privilege that the extremely rich enjoy, because the cost is very expensive (unlike in India). Some working couples may have a housekeeper that comes once a week to clean, but we don’t have cooks, drivers, and other home help. We do it all ourselves.
Keep the questions coming!
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Shaunak, I am shocked at the venom that has come out of you!! For someone who is supposed to be espousing “Hindutva” and advocating so called proper action/dressing on the part of others, especially females, is this how you ‘spout off’ at other human beings and guests ( athithi)?
Shaunak chal nikal as Sharell can say! hopefully we wont be seeing you again here!..PS..Hope I dont see you in Pune else you will have a hard time kid. You have lot to see and learn.
Sharell, love the part above where you said it in Hindi! That’s so cool.
Plus, sorry about Shaunak saying all that about you. You don’t deserve it. We all are very very sure that you’re a very sweet clear hearted person who has worked really hard to be where you are. Hope you don’t take to heart that boy’s comments.
Awww, thanks. You know when Hindi speakers often turn to English when they really want to get their point across… I do the opposite.
Why am I not surprised? His lack of respect and manners for others in this blog was quite evident early on. It was only a matter of time he insulted the host. Anyway, lets forget him and move on, no point beating the dead horse.
Sharell,even I luved ur Hindi,although it shudve been tang aa gayi hu.But still,it was just so sweet.Do add a li’l Hindi here n der in ur posts
Oh, thanks Suhani and thanks for the correction too. I definitely should write more Hindi so people can help fix my mistakes. I have a bad habit of literally translating from English to Hindi and using the wrong expressions. Half the time my husband doesn’t even bother to correct me, because he knows I’ll start asking aisa kyon?
Sharell..Curious to know if Shaunak still kept sending comments??
Hey Viksdes, yes, he’s apologising and asking for reconciliation. He wants to be allowed to keep posting.
… and will you give him another chance?
I don’t think so. Vo bahut batameez hai. (He is very ill mannered). He has developed a bad behaviour pattern of saying what ever he wants, then apologizing. Mere khyaal se he crossed the line with his last deeply offensive comments.
Definitely, you should use a little bit of Hindi in your posts. It can also help me learn some
Hota hai,hota hai!
I was just lyk u wen I was learning Bhojpuri.Half da tym I used 2 get confused so much between Bhojpuri & Hindi words & I used 2 mix dem up awfully.Dis often lead 2 utterly disgusting situations 
wherein my hubby used 2 give me expressions lyk “I’m gonna kill u if u say dis again! 
” Also,I had da bad habbit of sayin “Arrehhh yaaaaaar!” Smtyms e1 wyl talking 2 my in-laws I usd 2 say arreh yaar! & my hubby usd 2 hit his head wid his hand!Den he started saying “Suhani” in a very angry tone wenevr I did dat.I used 2 get so embarrased in frnt of my in-laws dat I stopped sayin it 
Suhani, you’re so funny! Can’t believe you were one of those “arrre yaaaar” people!!
Suhani you said ‘yaar’ to your in laws?
ROFL! 
No Ramit!I usd 2 remark “arreh yaar!” (lyk how many of us remark oh man! ,lyk dat in da villages many say”Hay Ram!” or “Baap re!”)I never called any of my in-laws yaar! Marna nai tha mujhe
Wenevr smtyn wud go wrong,I wud say dat & my hubby wud get really angry :X But nw,if smtyn goes wrong,i immediately say “hay,hay!” I dnt knw hw,bt nw da arreh yaar! has given way 2 hay!hay! 
Its hard even for me smtyms 2 think hw much my lyf has changed!Indeed,once upon a tym I was 1 of dose ‘arreh yaar!’ types,bindaas,befiqar college girl,2 happy 2 b in my own world!I was quite tomboyish,right frm childhood.N now,lukin at me,no1 wud say dat I had a “mast” past of dat type!
Ufff, if only I could understand anything of what you people are saying there in Hindi
But I am learning bit by bit…
call me an outright pessimist but india is one of the worst countries and your blog and experiences prove it
im living in mumbai and have lived here though out my life.
everything is the opposite here
most common and basic example is when u go to a shop, the shopkeeper instead of serving and helping the customer considers himself as the king and thinks of himself as a great rich guy helping the low class needy people
as much as we call germans,english,south africans and aussies(also) racist, india is also (inherently) racist and according to me on the top of the list of the most racist countries in the world, fairness creams,love for white skin etc etc of course you know it better
everything seems to be wrong with this country which is why im dying to get out and get into some university, probably in netherlands or scandinavia.
great blog by the way but how have you settled in India is beyond me infact moving from one of the developed nations to a poverty rut area is like moving from heaven to hell , my dad has a friend who moved back to india from delaware (richest state in usa and mind you they had settled well) to pune , he has two children who curse him everyday lol
Hi Rohan, it definitely is a challenge! I remember my first year in Mumbai was especially tough. I wanted to go home so many times! If it wasn’t for the fact that I loved my job so much, I admit I probably would’ve gone running back to Oz and dragged my husband with me! I’m glad I stuck around though. It’s getting easier, although there are still plenty of things that irritate me! I do get worn down by it all at times. I find experiencing a different way of life really interesting though.
Just landed here, and I am shocked see the crap you have to put up with, Sharell! If I were you, I would have had a hard time getting my emotional balance back. Why do you allow such fanatic idiots to be around on your page in the first place?
fanatic idiots?
who are you talking about , yourself?
people are on her page to share opinions and talk about culture,traditions and life style of india etc
if you want some attention go make your own blog (jealous creep)
I totally understand the cooking/cleaning misconception!….I’m from New Jersey, and I was talking to a friend in Mumbai just last week who was completely surprised that I’ve been cooking since I was 11 (i’m 18 now), can cook anything, and that my sister and I split all the cleaning and laundry. And on the other side, I was completely surprised to find out that he has a maid and a servant – had no idea that was still common for upper middle class in mumbai!!
Hi Sharell,
You have a very interesting Blog, thank you for your insight into a foreigner’s daily life in Mumbai. I’ve been thinking about working in India at some point in the future but, I don’t know how life for a NRI would be out there.
Keep up the blog!
Kirtesh
Hi Kirtesh, some NRIs do okay and stay, but some don’t cope well and go back abroad. Here’s an article about one of them: http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/2011/10/does-living-in-india-turn-you-into-a-bad-person/
Needless to say, you can expect some adjustment problems. It will be different for you than a foreigner too, because of the different perceptions about NRIs in India. Foreigners can also remain as foreigners if they wish (and not trying to get involved in Indian culture) but it’s harder for NRIs to figure out where they fit in, especially if they’ve gotten used to aspects of western culture and might not find Indian culture so agreeable anymore. It all depends on your mindset I guess!
Best wishes for a tough decision.
Hi Sharell,
As you can see India needs a lot of mother Teresa. Hope you will also become one and help people out here.
Hi Dennis,
I agree India needs help (like many other countries). Sharell is helping with her website.
But you should do some research on Mother Teresa.
Sharell is a much much much better person than Mother Teresa, IMHO.
So are most of us . And I am NOT kidding. I really mean it. See the forum (questions).
Probably a western woman with really high moral values was Princess Diana. She helped children selflessly. Or Angelina Jolie – she adopted orphans.
Not Mother Teresa.
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