Following on from Answers to Questions About My Life in India #1, here are some more points of interest that I’ve been asked about lately.
1) What are Indian women and men’s reaction towards you and how do they differ in their reactions? Generally, I find that Indian women are more interested in me as a person, whereas Indian men are more interested in what the image of a white woman is. When I meet Indian women, they usually ask me dozens of questions about myself, ranging from what I do during the day to what I eat. They want to get a glimpse into my life. Indian men don’t ask many questions at all. They behave in rather male manner. Sometimes, they’ll want to have their picture taken with me, or they’ll make unwanted advances, or will try and impress me. I think part of the reason why I was attracted to my husband was because when I met him, I found him so enjoyable and easy to talk to. It was a rare thing for me!
2) Do you find Indian men treat you differently to Indian women, and if so how? Indian men are more likely to want to try and please me. I find that in my daily dealings with Indian people, the men are likely to “adjust” in my favour, whereas the women won’t. Indian women aren’t as influenced, impressed, or intimidated by me. On the other hand, Indian women are very inclined to look after me and mother me. They also don’t expect me to help out as much, like they would an Indian girl. Decent Indian men will also treat me very well. My male friends are quite protective of me even.
3) Lastly, what do Indian people really think of western girls? The general preconceptions that they have of western girls, that is. Unfortunately, the stereotype of western girls is prominent in the minds of many Indian people. They think that western girls go around having sex freely with lots of men, western girls are immoral, and western girls have lots of money (which is the perception about white people in general). They also often expect that western girls won’t know how to cook and keep a house. It’s these last couple of preconceptions that bother me the most. The others I can understand, because most of the views that Indian people have about western girls come from what they see in movies. However, I was actually quite shocked (and dare I say, even a little offended) to discover that people thought I’d wouldn’t be able to cook or clean. What Indians don’t often realise is that having servants is not a part of everyday life in the west. It’s only a privilege that the extremely rich enjoy, because the cost is very expensive (unlike in India). Some working couples may have a housekeeper that comes once a week to clean, but we don’t have cooks, drivers, and other home help. We do it all ourselves.
Keep the questions coming!
Related Posts:
- Answers to Questions About My Life in India #3
- Answers to Questions About My Life in India #1
- Adjusting to Having a Maid
- The Difficulty of Being Married to an Indian
- India Photo: Inside the Mumbai Local Train
- Readjusting to Life in India
- The Changing Face of Arranged Marriages in India
- Indian Boys Dressed Up As Girls
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Once we’re done with that, we can have Mr. Goshwami make his own blog about his experiences in Russia with his Russian bride. Something in the lines of desirussianjamai.com
And, as I mentioned some other time, he can count on me as one of his blog’s daily visitors!
desirussianjamai! ROFL!
Dear Abdullah ,
Why should I become a Russian “Gharjamai” . The Indian society is traditionally male dominated and hierarchial . I have my ancestral house in New Delhi . My parents live in New Delhi . I am the only child of my parents . I have no brother or a sister . So it becomes my moral duty and responsibility to look after my parents in their old age .
I will marry a Russian girl and bring her to India with me . A Russian woman will follow the love of her life any where . Inspite of the heavy western influence in Russia , I being an Indian would be able to carve out a ” niche ” for myself in Russia . One of my father’s friend does business in Russia . That friend of my father has a Russian daughter in law . Also my father’s friend has two grand children . I must admit that Indo-Russian kids are very cute . They have fair complexion , green/blue eyes and light brown hair . Russian women are exceptionally beautiful , intelligent and adaptive . They ( Russian women ) make good companions. In my opinion any man will consider himself lucky if he marries a Russian lady .
Abdullah , I am an Indian and India is my identity . Ihave great respect and admiration for Russia and Russian people , but then at the same time I cannot forget that I am an Indian . My all dreams begin and end with India . India is my ” Janmabhumi ( Birth place ) ” and ” Karmabhumi ( Work Place ) ” .
Sharell , please don’t delete my post . I do not mean to insult anyone . The views expressed are completely arbitrary and reflect only my opinion . I was only answering Abdullah’s queries regarding my being a Russian Gharjamai .
Try reading that again. I said ‘jamai’, not ‘gharjamai’.
Most Russian women would hate to live with you or in a society like yours. They might be curious or interested in India but not to the extent of being told to change the way they behave or dress. Russian women are also Orthodox Christians, which will not go down very well with your RSS-Hindutva persona.
Why not an Indian woman? Perhaps you reject them for the very thing you claim in this blog as ‘virtues’ of a woman.
Your ‘respect’ for Russia is only a desire for Russian wife, not because you love the country or its culture. If Slavic women had olive skin, dark eyes and dark hair, you wouldn’t have given two hoots about Russia or Russian people.
And please Shaunak, no more “Russian women” please. Have some manners, don’t hammer on what people in this blog are not interested in. If you really like Russian women so much, try a blog/site devoted to the topic.
Dear Shaunak, I agree with Abdullah here, generally Russian women belong to the ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN church and may not allow her children to be brought up within the hindu-fold. Won’t that cause friction within your marriage if you have the mind-set that you do?
Mr Vice President Ji, those Russian Orthodox women wouldn’t care about your belief or your culture so stick with your own and marry a nice Hindu woman.
Nah, not necesarily, IA. It depends on how a woman might think and what religion means to her. I am Orthodox and would marry outside my religion for love.
“Nah, not necesarily, IA. It depends on how a woman might think and what religion means to her. I am Orthodox and would marry outside my religion for love.”
You’re right Claudia. Love overcomes differences and other barriers.
Dear Sharell ,
I humbly request you to please allow my comments on your blog .
Shaunak, they are not relevant.
Dear Sharell ,
I was answering Vandanaji’s queries about my relationship with a Russian girl .
I know, but I’m not publishing anything more that’s Russian related.
Dear Sharell ,
Please allow my comments this time . I promise you that from next time I will stick to the topic and not stray away from it .
ROFL!
Chup raho, Ramit. Yeh bahut buri baat hai!
Shaunak, no! You can’t seem to keep your promises about sticking to the topic. No more Russian related comments (or comments personally insulting other people)!
Dear Sharell ,
Didn’t Abdullah insult me in first place by telling me to mind my manners . He ( Abdullah ) has no right to tell me what I should do and what I should not .
Secondly , why are you so narrow minded when it comes to Russia and Russian people . I was only politely replying to Vandanaji’s comments . Honestly , Sharell I didn’t expect this from you .
Dear Sharell ,
I take objection to your comments . If you consider yourself to be a fair , reasonable person then publish my comments . The readers can decide for themselves . It is very bad on your part to ” gag ” others .
Sharell , please publish my comments if you have learned any thing good from India .
Shaunak! Bas hogaya. Mein bilkul tang hogayi hoon. I’m not narrow minded at all about Russia or anything else. Can’t you comprehend that this blog is not about Russia or your passion for Russian women. Neither is it a forum for the discussion of these things. I wish I could say that I don’t expect you to keep going on about all things Russian (after you’ve apologised for it on numerous occasions), but unfortunately I do. That is why I’ve gagged you and will continue to do so. Most people are not interested in coming to my blog and reading your Russian related comments. The readers have decided for themselves that they are not interested in your comments, and they have repetitively drawn this fact to my attention. You say I should publish your comments if I’ve learned anything good from India. Well, what I’ve learned from India is not to give in to the demands of Indian men. So no, I won’t be publishing any derogatory comments, or comments mentioning Russia. Samjha?
Okay Ramit, you can start rolling around on the floor laughing again now.
Dear Sharell ,
I defended you when Kolapatty Rao spoke against you . But now I realise that I was wrong . You are as spiteful as any white British or American woman . Sharell , you are a biased , narrow minded Australian woman .
Sharell ,You have rotten guts . You are also a partial moderator as you defended those idiots – Abdullah and Viksdes . Abdullah is no one to comment on me . Abdullah’s forefathers were kicked out of Egypt and if that fool ( Abdullah ) doesn’t mend his ways , very soon his family will also be kicked out of India .
Sharell , your marriage with an Indian man is not going to last very long. You are not worthy of living in India . It is better you pack your bags and leave for Australia .
Also if you have one bit of shame left inside you please publish all my posts .
Haha, no I am completely baysharam and you are offically banned. I’ll publish this comment of yours though so everyone can see what you’re really like, and the reason why I’ve banned you.
Shaunak, although I understand you wanted to defend your opinions against Vandana, I have to admit Sharell is completely right. We all have stated this blog is not about Russia and she should do something about it and now that she did, you should understand and move on to other topics. Please be reasonable, brave, mature and let’s discuss about India, that we all here love. And never forget it’s Sharell’s blog, it’s hers to do whatever she wants with it. She has been kind enough with the multitude of irrelevant comments that many of us have posted.
Shaunak, please be a gentleman. Don’t speak like that to a woman who respected you and who was understanding enough to publish most of your comments so far, irrelevant or relevant, on her personal blog.
Shaunak, I am shocked at the venom that has come out of you!! For someone who is supposed to be espousing “Hindutva” and advocating so called proper action/dressing on the part of others, especially females, is this how you ’spout off’ at other human beings and guests ( athithi)?
Shaunak chal nikal as Sharell can say! hopefully we wont be seeing you again here!..PS..Hope I dont see you in Pune else you will have a hard time kid. You have lot to see and learn.
Sharell, love the part above where you said it in Hindi! That’s so cool.
Plus, sorry about Shaunak saying all that about you. You don’t deserve it. We all are very very sure that you’re a very sweet clear hearted person who has worked really hard to be where you are. Hope you don’t take to heart that boy’s comments.
Why am I not surprised? His lack of respect and manners for others in this blog was quite evident early on. It was only a matter of time he insulted the host. Anyway, lets forget him and move on, no point beating the dead horse.
Awww, thanks. You know when Hindi speakers often turn to English when they really want to get their point across… I do the opposite.
Sharell,even I luved ur Hindi,although it shudve been tang aa gayi hu.But still,it was just so sweet.Do add a li’l Hindi here n der in ur posts
Sharell..Curious to know if Shaunak still kept sending comments??
Oh, thanks Suhani and thanks for the correction too. I definitely should write more Hindi so people can help fix my mistakes. I have a bad habit of literally translating from English to Hindi and using the wrong expressions. Half the time my husband doesn’t even bother to correct me, because he knows I’ll start asking aisa kyon?
Hey Viksdes, yes, he’s apologising and asking for reconciliation. He wants to be allowed to keep posting.
… and will you give him another chance?
Definitely, you should use a little bit of Hindi in your posts. It can also help me learn some
Hota hai,hota hai!
I was just lyk u wen I was learning Bhojpuri.Half da tym I used 2 get confused so much between Bhojpuri & Hindi words & I used 2 mix dem up awfully.Dis often lead 2 utterly disgusting situations 
wherein my hubby used 2 give me expressions lyk “I’m gonna kill u if u say dis again! 
” Also,I had da bad habbit of sayin “Arrehhh yaaaaaar!” Smtyms e1 wyl talking 2 my in-laws I usd 2 say arreh yaar! & my hubby usd 2 hit his head wid his hand!Den he started saying “Suhani” in a very angry tone wenevr I did dat.I used 2 get so embarrased in frnt of my in-laws dat I stopped sayin it 
Suhani you said ‘yaar’ to your in laws?
ROFL! 
I don’t think so. Vo bahut batameez hai. (He is very ill mannered). He has developed a bad behaviour pattern of saying what ever he wants, then apologizing. Mere khyaal se he crossed the line with his last deeply offensive comments.
Suhani, you’re so funny! Can’t believe you were one of those “arrre yaaaar” people!!
No Ramit!I usd 2 remark “arreh yaar!” (lyk how many of us remark oh man! ,lyk dat in da villages many say”Hay Ram!” or “Baap re!”)I never called any of my in-laws yaar! Marna nai tha mujhe
Wenevr smtyn wud go wrong,I wud say dat & my hubby wud get really angry :X But nw,if smtyn goes wrong,i immediately say “hay,hay!” I dnt knw hw,bt nw da arreh yaar! has given way 2 hay!hay! 
Its hard even for me smtyms 2 think hw much my lyf has changed!Indeed,once upon a tym I was 1 of dose ‘arreh yaar!’ types,bindaas,befiqar college girl,2 happy 2 b in my own world!I was quite tomboyish,right frm childhood.N now,lukin at me,no1 wud say dat I had a “mast” past of dat type!
Ufff, if only I could understand anything of what you people are saying there in Hindi
But I am learning bit by bit…
call me an outright pessimist but india is one of the worst countries and your blog and experiences prove it
im living in mumbai and have lived here though out my life.
everything is the opposite here
most common and basic example is when u go to a shop, the shopkeeper instead of serving and helping the customer considers himself as the king and thinks of himself as a great rich guy helping the low class needy people
as much as we call germans,english,south africans and aussies(also) racist, india is also (inherently) racist and according to me on the top of the list of the most racist countries in the world, fairness creams,love for white skin etc etc of course you know it better
everything seems to be wrong with this country which is why im dying to get out and get into some university, probably in netherlands or scandinavia.
great blog by the way but how have you settled in India is beyond me infact moving from one of the developed nations to a poverty rut area is like moving from heaven to hell , my dad has a friend who moved back to india from delaware (richest state in usa and mind you they had settled well) to pune , he has two children who curse him everyday lol
Hi Rohan, it definitely is a challenge! I remember my first year in Mumbai was especially tough. I wanted to go home so many times! If it wasn’t for the fact that I loved my job so much, I admit I probably would’ve gone running back to Oz and dragged my husband with me! I’m glad I stuck around though. It’s getting easier, although there are still plenty of things that irritate me! I do get worn down by it all at times. I find experiencing a different way of life really interesting though.
Just landed here, and I am shocked see the crap you have to put up with, Sharell! If I were you, I would have had a hard time getting my emotional balance back. Why do you allow such fanatic idiots to be around on your page in the first place?
fanatic idiots?
who are you talking about , yourself?
people are on her page to share opinions and talk about culture,traditions and life style of india etc
if you want some attention go make your own blog (jealous creep)
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