Dbals- what great memories! I can picture …

Comment posted Moving On Up by motoakijane.

dbals- what great memories! I can picture this mischief on these terraces as well as the moon-light dinners. Sounds like Sharrell will get a whole other room to her place. I know you are in Oz but how about the neighborhood around the house and the transportation options? Though I wont have the chance to really try them I enjoy your write-ups of the different hang outs and night spots nearby. I really need to sit down with a map of Mumbai and figure out where you have been, where you are, etc. Being from a farm town and living in the mountains, I have no concept of space or time in a huge city… But alas, enjoy your vacation home.

Recent comments by motoakijane

• The Rigors of Education in India
  Sharell, as for you, one thing you can do is send your child through the elementary, middle, and high schools in India and then in their last one or two years of high school send them to Australia so they can be available to (and adapted to) going to an Australia Uni without the worry of the entrance exams for uni. I’ve had friends who did that (with the UK and US) because their parents were worried about the stress of uni exams in Japan. They sent them off to grandparents or other relatives houses and visited them during breaks. My cousins in Haiti also did the same thing but that was because their parents were worried about the lack of higher education in Haiti. The brother went to live with his grandmother but the sister lived with us. My American family has also hosted numerous home stay high school students and some of them have had this motive.

  And of course, the children were given the choice to go to uni back at home if they really wanted to. Out of about 15 friends, one did decide to pursue uni in Japan. He just used a gap year to study for the big exam. That way you can raise them in the core values you enjoy in India and yet relieve the pressure a bit.

• The Rigors of Education in India
  And suicides are common. Or, sometimes worse, a total sense of giving up. Kids realize that they wont be able to do well on the test so they just take on a total rebellious attitude and get lost in the system. In America I was extremely slow in math and did miserable on the ACT in math and science but was able to get into a good school due to high marks in English and a strong record of community service, work experience, and club involvement. The same for people with learning disabilities.
• The Rigors of Education in India
  One thing I see being lost in such situations is free thought. In America we are not graded on tests, tests, tests but tests and reports, speeches, creative projects, etc. In a lot of my science and history classes we had the choice of taking a test or completing a project like science fair or a paper on a certain era of history. I think this was helpful in training us to handle various work situations- we developed skills other than memorization. However, in Japan where I teach the teachers only worry about tests. Students go to school from 8am-6pm and then go to juku- cram school- to be drilled on all subjects. Often juku will last until 10pm at night- and when I taught English in Juku I had children as young as 4 or 5 years old. Their parents were desperate for them to get into a private school or certain program- a feat that could only be accomplished through a test. You ask a kid what he did over summer break and most likely the answer is study or go to some cram school. What is worrisome is that the students can’t do things like dramatic reading or creative writing in class- I would love to show films, put on plays, read novels, etc in English class but we are forced to do drills, memorized dialogues, and spelling tests day after day. When I worked in the cram school my branch boss was always encouraging me to introduce creative thinking into my lessons since she thought that would help the students to actually speak the language. But always the parents would come back and argue that they wanted us to just drill practice tests since the students weren’t there to learn conversation- again, at a language school. I was just reading an article about a daycare worker who, at age 30, wanted to go back to school to become a teacher. Since she had not been in school for a few good years, she had to kind of start over, since there was no way she could get into a college without taking the current test and since there was no way that she could ever match up to the current high school students who had been studying 24/7. She had to move home and study 10 hours by herself followed by nights at cram schools.

  On the flip side, my coworkers are extremely good at “facts” in math and science- stuff I long forgot after I passed out of those classes. There has to be an in between.

• A Tale of an Indian’s Adaptation Abroad
  “We human being are very good at creating our own hells and no hell is quite like the (self inflicted) isolation of a western small town/suburb.”

  *Church/Temple
  *school sports events/theater productions/open houses
  *dance/fitness classes at the local gym
  *neighborhod BBQs
  *town parades
  *local bars and coffee shops
  *book clubs, country clubs, poker clubs, etc

  How do these not value community? And I would argue that these are more inclusive for the immigrant and newcomer than an area that has many families living with multiple generations. My parents moved to a new town away from their parents and soon found numerous “adopted” parents- people they met in the grocery store, people who lent them their snow blower, etc. The same for my grandmother who was left with an empty house when my father and uncle moved away- she found neighbors, young couples at church, and plenty of children to be a mother too.

  My fiance who is Japanese and is used to seeing 3 generations in one household was shocked by the amount of people who made small talk with him at all of the different shops/stores/gas stations. Neighbors who call out to each other, people at the local McDonalds who know my name (and his no doubt), newspapers filled with births/deaths/marriages/achievements. He was also interested to see that during holidays my cousins couldn’t make it but that about four or five neighbor families could. He is baffled that our wedding will have over 300 people because in a small town everyone invites everyone.

  Then again, I am from Iowa and as the Kevin Costner movie said…
  John Kinsella: Is this heaven?
  Ray Kinsella: It’s Iowa.
  John Kinsella: Iowa? I could have sworn this was heaven.

• A Tale of an Indian’s Adaptation Abroad
  @honjaku
  “If you want community, participation, if you like to invite people over for dinner and like to be invited yourself then these southern hemisperic countries are not for you. Communal dining is a big part of life in Asia – a few big pots of food set in the center of the table, everyone to take what they like and a cacaphony of voices. In general you can’t invite an Australian to a dinner like that they would be baffled as to how to eat, how much to take. If you have Australians over for dinner, if say your table is going to seat four and you are preparing carrots, you must prepare carrots in multiples of four so your guests can know how many to take, if you don’t your guests will feel confused and or offended. And there is no expectation of reciprocity. if you were the host and now expect to be a guest you may well be waiting forever.. ”

  -How many western homes have you eaten in? In every western home I have ever eaten in (American, Aussie, German, Danish, British, etc) you get one of two choices. Either the food is passed around the table in large bowls and you are allowed to take what/how much you want or the food is set out buffet style in the kitchen and you fill your plate before sitting at the table. How is this not as social as eating from the same pot? And in some ways this is more inclusive.

  I have a friend who is constantly turning down invitations to nabe (a Japanese style of eating where you put all of the food in one large pot and people pick out of it) parties because they have allergies and dont want to be a bother to everyone else by asking everyone to not include favorite foods.

  I have another friend who avoids these parties as well as, due to religion, they cant eat food with pork and they dont want to cause a fuss by insisting these foods or broths are not included. I dont know the details but it is also a matter of food being cooked in the same proximity.

  Another friend who is working in Japan but saving every yen to pay off school loans and to help her single mother back in the US avoids going to izakayas (a type of restaurant where dishes are ordered and then shared in the middle of the table) with Japanese people. She loves the food, doesnt have allergies, and doesnt mind sharing- but in this situation the bill is split evenly (cause there is no way to split the cost of one shrimp, two spoon fulls or gratin, etc) and she is afraid she wont be able to pay. So while Japanese people assume she is anti-social she sits at home feeling depressed. Whereas when the foreigners (non-Japanese) go with her to izakaya, we let her pay a smaller fee and she just orders and eats off of one dish.

  In America, on the other hand, I have had all walks of life and creeds eat at my mothers table. Vegetarians and religious friends avoid certain meats by not being passed those dishes or not picking them up in the buffet. And no one bats an eye. People with allergies or dietary restrictions are taken care of because my mother “prepares each plate/dish/serving” according to who is coming and who eats what. If that is not hospitality and inclusion, I dont know what is! AND MY HOME TOWN IN AMERICA ONLY HAS A POPULATION OF 1600 PEOPLE!

  Also, as for “no expectation of reciprocity” I dont invite people over for dinner because I want something out of them, I invite them over because I like to host, my fiance likes to cook, and it’s a nice thing to do. People who come to my table might not have the means or the space to host in return. Or maybe it is just not their thing. Im not going to “not invite” them because they don’t invite me back- I include everyone!

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