Being away from India for a while has been interesting. This time, I’ve started noticing how living in India has moulded and shaped me. On previous occasions when I came home to Australia, I was keen to experience what was “normality” to me. However, “normality” doesn’t exactly feel normal anymore.
I’ve changed!
In particular, I often feel like telling people to relax and loosen up. This shocks me. I used to be a meticulously organised person. One of those “control freaks”. I didn’t deal at all well with India’s “sab chalta hai” (anything goes) attitude.
An interesting email from one of my Indian readers helped me discover why. One of his observations about the West was that people always need to be “switched on”. Western society is transaction based, and one’s worth is measured according to convenience and entertainment value to others.
No wonder I felt like I constantly had to present my “best self” to people.
In India, I found this very difficult to do, especially with people often knocking on the door uninvited and unannounced. It caused me a great deal of anxiety. Horror of horrors if someone saw me wearing my maxi nightie, undressed and without makeup! I wasn’t looking my “best”. What ever would they think of me?!
But, as I visited more homes in India, I started realising something. It was common for women to remain in their maxis all day, even if they were expecting visitors. They didn’t feel the need to superficially impress others at all! It didn’t matter if they were busy doing something. Everyone pleasantly adjusted.
While, I’m really enjoying the space and fresh air in Australia. Even after five weeks here, life doesn’t quite feel normal. It does feel like something is missing — the spontaneity and warmth of India!
It’s good that I feel this way though. I think I’ve finally reached the point where I can appreciate both cultures, rather than trying to recapture my own.
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Ramit ji, sometimes its best to have a backup during emergencies as such, if you know what I mean.
Mary, yeah in America things have turned into who does the best transaction, who is the most entertaining, ultimate pleasure seeking, etc. I noticed those changes a while ago.
I think it all comes down to that nasty ole thing called “the ego”. Instead of us getting our self worth and love from inside us, the ego drives us to look for it from external sources. The culture of the west reinforces the belief that we’re separate to everyone else (rather than all connected to a higher intelligence), and when we die we come to an end. As a result we view life as a competitive exercise. And we seek validation from external sources. We need to have more than others, and prove ourselves better than others. Rather, we should be striving to re-connect with ourselves and our purpose in live. Then we might figure out that real peace and happiness doesn’t come from consumption and “more is better”.
Hmmm. Let’s see what my neighbors do wear to bed. I do see most of them early morning at about 6 or 7 AM when they all come out of their houses to collect the newspaper blah. blah.
Hmmmm. Kurta Pj’s, Tee and Pj’s, One old man wears a lungi and nothing on the top, fat guy too, guts hanging out, eeeeks, some women wear maxi’s, some suits, kids in track pants, it’s 7 degrees in Delhi, no shorts for the kids too this time of the year.
Must notice more now. Tomorrow morning, I’ll post myself outside at 5:30 AM and duly record everyone’s night clothes and report back to you!
Impressive observation skills, Ramit.
Your enthusiasm would be well directed to joining the Hindu moral police. Have you read this hilarious post by Neo Indian?
http://neoindian.org/2009/02/16/why-being-a-hindu-moral-police-is-harder-than-your-tech-job/
Geeez just read that. It’s funny. I like being what I am. No pink panties for me!
Which reminds me, it’s almost February now. Gear up folks, collect all the pink you got! We must send it this year too!
I hate valentines day cause love shouldn’t be shown just one day, it should be shown everyday. Showing it just one day like a public ceremony is kinda fake and hypocritical.
Couldn’t find a date, could you dude?
Dats so sweet of u Indian American!Ur beloved is a lucky gal!
Ramit, I already have a girl. She’s the best. You must’ve thought why I hate valentines day Its just another day guru. Imho everyday should be a valentines day.
Suhani thank you, I am so glad that I have her. Just thinking about her keeps me happy.
So, you just think of her? That’s it. Lucky you. And here we have to live it out everyday!
Ramit ji, some women are absolute angels when they get all the praise and attention. One day of not praising them would be = cyclone during a clear and sunny day so we must praise them everyday to make sure we are healthy.
In some situations, before marriage. My dear you look so handsome and sexy. You are the finest guy I’ve ever seen. After marriage, dear you look old with grey hair, and beard, how come? Even amitabh bachan looks younger than you baba. Promise me that you will start applying dye to look younger in public.
Oh my God! That’s so true!
Been there, done that, seen that!
Ramit, some arguments end up becoming another Kurukshetra Yudh. In my case, I become Dhritarashtra and act like I cant see a damn thing so I am an innocent person. Its not my fault that Gandhari is mad at me. I’ll blame all the problems on Shakuni uncle.
ROFL!
Oh God Indian American, I’m still laughing!
I think I should change my screen name to Dhritarashtra instead of Indian American. But I am afraid, if I do that I’ll become another Hypocrites.
@ Indian American
Jai Ho!Kya uchch vichaar hai aapke!Subhan-allah!
Dat Dhritarashtra-Gandhari thing is jst so funny!
By da way,u hav ‘Pakka Indian Aadmi’ k saare lakshan..
Jab ji kia tab Majnu ban jao:”I am so glad that I have her. Just thinking about her keeps me happy.”
Aur ji kia tab Dhritarasthra:”act like I cant see a damn thing so I am an innocent person.”
Bahot na-insafi hai! lol
Just kidding!From wot uve written,u really luv her a lot.Good 2 know dat u’ll do anythin 2 make her happy!She’s lucky & must b proud as well!
Suhani ji, one thing she likes about me is my sense of humor. She says, I make her laugh more than anything else. I tell her, I purposely dont do it, it just comes out of my dimaag. So mere ko maafi kar, dont blame me for being an indirect joker.
Keep up da good work Indian American!
Jo aagya mere behan, dhanyawaad.
ROFL you two!
Well,I dunno da Hindi word for dis,so I’ll stick 2 u r welcome!
Yeah even I don’t know what “You’re welcome” is in Hindi.
It’s “swagat ho” or “padhariyey”. As if Ramit , the great hindi pundit
didnt know that!!!
Vandana,’v r not talkin bout da ’swagat’ wala welcome,v r talkin bout da thank u ka jawab welcome.Thank you is dhanyavad/shukriya,dnt knw wot’s welcome.
Lol Vandana ji I did not think of that! Thanks!
What we mean is the answer to thank you.
As Suhani said it above.
How come I didn’t know the meaning of welcome in hindi? All this while I thought aapka swagat hai was you are welcome.
Indian American, what is it that you take issue with – that I was sexually harrassed in India, or that I have sunbathed topless on beaches were it was safe, culturally acceptable, and LEGAL to do so?
I really don’t understand your beef with me dude. Get over it.
Happy Holidays!
“I really don’t understand your beef with me dude. Get over it.”
NRI Not just me, nobody would stand your fake personality or your lies. A month ago you claimed to be a white caucasian, then gori devi, then hypocrites who has a black boyfriend, now you claim to be a non resident Indian. You are full of crap and why would anybody respect you for all the crap that say? If you want to get your point across, be honest with others. The fact of the matter is that you are a sad and lonely person right? Nobody here would trust you cause of your crooked attitude. Admit it, its better to say it as it.
Om Shanti, Om Shanti…
Merry Christmas.
Indian American ji, don’t bother with Non RELIABLE Indians. They’re all the same!
Ramit ji, since its the holidays its my duty to bring out the holiday spirits in them. Thats why I say it as it is and make them true to themselves as well as others.
Merry Christmas mere yaar.
@Suhani, Correct me if I’m wrong but generally when someone says “dhanyabaad” in hindi, I usually respond by “koi nahin” if the person is close, else one can use the terms that comes closest to ‘you’re welcome’ like ” yeh toh meri khushkismeti hai”, ” yeh to mera bhagya hai”, ” mujhe sharminda na kijiyey” etc.etc. I can’t speak for others, but in my family normally, we (my parents/kids/husband) don’t say thanks to each other, so you’re right, the exact hindi response to “thank you” does not come easily to mind
Vandana ji, 10 on 10! That’s the best answer ever! That should have come from one of us Indians who are living in India!
I do not believe this. Suhani and I could not say this but you said it in the exact Indian spirit!
Amazing! Thanks Vandana ji. You truly rock!
shouldn’t it be koi baat nahin? koi na or koi nahi sounds too punjabi…of course vandani ji knows better.
@Vandana
Dats so true!We keep sayin dese things,so v dnt really knw wot ‘welcome’ wud translate to in Hindi.Anyways,da expressions v use r as “polite-sounding” as da word welcome.Even in my parental family,its said dat kids in general shud not thank da elders,since it is believed dat wotever da elders do for us is a part of der duty.Dats sucha sweet tradition,really!
@Ramit
I completely agree wid u!She’s absolutely right & has said it in da most appropriate manner.
What about the American tourists? I see them dressed up in shorts even in springs and autumns.
Maybe that could be because Indian men have.
I’d guess traditional Indian Muslims and Hindus would find them offensive, as their culture emphasises a woman’s body covered up. It can also vary between cultures.
People who pose nude for art or photography are proud of their bodies. Think of it this way – being requested to pose for a nude photograph or art by a serious artist is one of the highest compliments of a person’s beauty.
Indians view life as a competitive exercise as well, they just have different approaches. For example, pushing children to overachieve themselves academically is nothing more than an exercise of the competitive spirit between Indian parents. Or for that matter, the tendency of Indians to tear down someone in their community who is more successful, more attractive or more popular than they are.
I was really surprised to see an Indian woman wearing shorts the other day in the new locality where I live!
Maybe a monkey ran away with half the leg of her pants.
Ramit ji, I never knew monkeys had a habit of stealing pants. Maybe its a new trend among our primate friends.
IA, These are new age monkeys! Special edition 2010. They even read blogs. That’s how they get ideas! *wink wink*
Did you train them to steal pants?
I was really surprised to see an Indian woman wearing shorts the other day in the new locality where I live!
Hahahahaha……does she had nice legs???………
Yes, damn it. I think most Indian women have nice legs because they have an instant tan! Plus Indian women tend to carry their weight around their middles not their thighs!
Plus Indian women tend to carry their weight around their middles not their thighs
Nice observations……..i made the same observations many years age….haha
Correction…….
it should be………. “many years ago”
Even Indian men tend to carry a lot of weight on their bellys. I guess the feeling of carrying a big belly is just like that of a pregnant woman, hard to walk around with one cause of the gravity pulling down all that extra fat.
I agree. Tanned legs are simply delicious…err…ehem..beautiful.
Legs look better a little full than being spidery. Belly fat is an absolute turn off. No, no, not allowed.
They want to make a ‘belly entrance’. Their bellies enter the room before they do.
“They want to make a ‘belly entrance’. Their bellies enter the room before they do.”
Abdullah yaar you are killing me. I want to know what Ramit has to say about it.
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