Adjusting to Having a Maid

by Sharell on January 13, 2010

in Adjusting to India,Daily Life in India

A week ago, I did something that I didn’t really want to do. I gave in and got a maid. Having home help was something that I’d been considering for a while. However, I previously couldn’t justify it living in a small one bedroom flat. I was also concerned about the intrusion on my privacy.

In my new living environment, I felt a much more pervasive pressure to get home help. Three levels of home to keep clean. A more active social life. And neighbours who have staff.

When my neighbour negotiated with his maid to come and clean my floors for 500 rupees a month, I said okay. She’s been working in his house for around six years, and apparently is trustworthy.

Anyone who’s Indian will likely find getting a maid no big deal. Many people have home help in India. However, it’s rare in the west. Only the rich can afford to employ a cleaner, a cook, or a driver. As a result, I’m not sure how to manage my maid.

I’ve discovered that the maid’s presence in the house is quite enjoyable. However, she’s already started talking to me about upsetting things. Money. Her husband who can’t work. Her tiredness and fever. She only speaks to me in Hindi, so I don’t always understand the detail of what she says. And indeed sometimes, I pretend that I don’t understand what she says.

I’m already feeling guilty. Guilty that her life is so difficult. Guilty that she works so hard and earns so little. Guilty that she has few pleasures, while I have so many. I could take a spiritual view, and think “this is exactly how it has to be in the world”. However, I want to tell my maid to go home and rest instead of cleaning my house. “You can’t do that though”, I’m warned. “She’ll start taking advantage of you”.

So, I offer her chocolate, juice, and water. She’s so friendly and hugs me. I wonder what sort of behaviour I could be encouraging from her though. Will she start asking me for money? Or favours? Or not turn up to work? I’m aware that I need to set boundaries with her, but I don’t want to be like many people that I’ve seen ungratefully barking orders at their staff.

Any suggestions?

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{ 108 comments… read them below or add one }

Abdullah K. April 16, 2010 at 3:58 pm

@ Sharrell’s Celebrity Doppleganger – “I couldn’t find a place less than 2,000 ruppees per month rent and that was the very upper limit of what I could afford.”

You count have tried a one room hut at the slums, they come around that rate.
 
Seriously, who do you think you’re kidding?! Even if you quadruple your budget, you can’t get a decent house in a troubled African capital. This is the 21st century honey, not 1951.

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Sharrell's Celebrity Doppleganger April 16, 2010 at 11:51 pm

I wasn’t looking for a “house” – just an old “flat” or even a room in a family’s house with a separate entrance but shared bathroom. Couldn’t even find THAT in Delhi for 2,000!

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Abdullah K. April 17, 2010 at 10:13 am

Thats bunkum. If you were looking for a shared accomodation (popularly known as ‘paying guest’ in Delhi), you can find one in the student areas of Delhi in the whereabouts of your budget.
 
If you’re looking for a proper flat, you can’t get one for less than 20,000 even in Luanda, Angola.

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Victor V July 11, 2010 at 9:18 am

Having maids is common in the West too, out here in Boston we use a lot of home help services like Landscaping, Cleaning etc. There is a lot of cheap immigrant labor available and for like $50 they clean your house. I live a busy life and it is easier for to hire a maid service to do the cleaning and maintain my lawn rather than me having to do it after coming home from work tired.

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Sacha August 16, 2010 at 9:18 am

Having a maid in India is a frustrating Luxury:-) It is one of those wonderful benefits of India that make living here a housewives dream. That is only if the maid you have co-operates. I recall my frustrations of having a maid. My friends back home in South Africa think I am living a dreamy life, but little do they know the drama of having a maid in India……. By the way thank you Sharell for all your advice on the topic of domestic bliss in India. Worked for me!

Sacha

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Sharell August 16, 2010 at 11:15 am

Hi Sacha, you’re welcome. ;-)

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Mohit Gupta cloudnine.blogspot.com August 16, 2010 at 1:54 pm

@ Abdullah K

“If you’re looking for a proper flat, you can’t get one for less than 20,000 even in Luanda, Angola.”

———————————————————————————————-

Hey !! Luanda is Worlds Most expensive city foe expats in the world rite now as per Forbes Magzine.Average Rent for a furnished flat is $6750 per month.

As for Delhi , someone ,who is looking for either a flat or a room in Delhi is really ignorant about the real estate prices.

A 3BHK Flat in Delhi/NCR ranges from Rs 10,000 to 5,00,000.Even paying guest cost something around 4,000 to 15,000, depending upon the area.

Delhi beeing the most expensive and Gurgaoan, Faridabad, Ghaziabad and Gr. Noida to follow.

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Abdullah K. August 16, 2010 at 10:17 pm

@ Mohit Gupta – “Hey !! Luanda is Worlds Most expensive city foe expats in the world rite now as per Forbes Magzine.Average Rent for a furnished flat is $6750 per month.”

Blame it on Angola’s booming economic growth (10% – 25% per year). At the moment, Angola is one of the best countries to do business in, if you know the game.
 
Finding a 3 bedroom flat for 10,000 Rs. in Delhi is pretty much a treasure hunt. The going rate is 25000 upwards.

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