A couple of weeks ago, there was a very important function in the family that my mum even came all the way from Australia (her third time to India) to attend — the wedding of my oldest nephew. It’s hard to believe that I have a nephew of marriageable age. However, my husband’s sister got married young and had him when she was still a teenager.
Of course, the question many of you are probably wondering is, “Was it a love marriage?” The answer is yes! It was the third love marriage in the family (apart from my husband and his brother) and also to someone of a different community. She is Gujarati.
In testament to how “progressive” my husband’s family has become, the marriage took place without any fuss or opposition. The happy couple fell in love during college and she started making appearances at family functions over a year ago — indicating that she’d been accepted as my nephew’s girlfriend (although she was always referred to as his “friend”) and it was a serious relationship. My sister in law has always been rather broadminded though, and she was the one my husband turned to when he wanted to convince his parents to support his marriage to me.
The wedding was also the largest and fanciest one in the family to date. There was a sangeet, along with a reception for around 1,000 people held at one of the huge outdoor wedding grounds that appear side by side along a road in Borivali.
Of course, all this meant that I had to buy some new saris — one for the wedding and one for the reception. And, of course, this meant hours and hours of deliberation over which saris to choose. As I’ve mentioned previously, selecting a sari is not as simple as just picking a colour and design that you like. Over the years, I’ve learned that there are a lot of subtle differences in choosing the right sari for the right occasion in India. It’s the same as choosing the right dress for the right occasion in the west, be it a cocktail dress, a formal dress, a party dress, or a casual dress. The sari material, and the amount of embroidery, sequins, and other detailing are all factors that need to be taken into account.
As is typically the case with weddings in India (and very different to the west), the wedding ceremony is attended only by family and close friends. The sari should be conservative but formal, and without a lot of bling. Silk is a good choice of fabric. I finally settled on a fancy brocade cream silk sari from Cbazaar online. (I rarely shop in stores anymore, as I find the overwhelming attention from sales assistants makes it so difficult for me to make a thoughtful decision).
I dressed my mum in my silk maroon sari. It’s the first sari I ever owned, and which my husband bought for me in Kolkata not long after I’d met him.
Mum and me, at the wedding ceremony.
Funnily enough, my mother in law was wearing a sari very similar to the one my mother was wearing. And yes, it was also a gift from Kolkata from my husband! (Bless him, his mother was happy with the sari, so he thought it would be good to give me one like it).
Husband, mother, and mother in law.
The wedding reception is time to dress up and flash some bling around. Sheer fabrics with sequins and crystals, and lots of jewellery, are the go. I chose this red chiffon jacquard sari, again from Cbazaar. It’s fine to wear red, the bridal colour, to an Indian wedding as long as you don’t outdo the bride! (And there wasn’t much chance of that as she was dressed in a stunning green, red, and purple lengha that she’d designer herself).
At the wedding reception.
A bit of bling.
Having fun posing with my youngest sister in law and her neice.
And last but not least, a picture with the hubby.
Just for something different, height reversal!
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{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
This is such a sweet post. I love the picture of your mum and MIL, they look like sisters. And I must say you look more and more Indian yourself <3
Funnily enough, I’m getting that comment a lot lately — that I’m looking more and more Indian. Even my mum said so.
My mum and mother in law were really excited to see each other. It was lovely.
So happy to hear this
Maybe you look Indian because now you have the auntie attitude
You look Fabulous my dear !!
God Bless you
Thank you sooo much. Bless you too!
You look so pretty! You and your husband are a really beautiful couple. I love how the new bride is smiling at her husband. Put a huge grin on my face and reminded me of my own wedding!:-D
That’s so sweet of you to say, thank you!
It was a really happy day… the bride was extremely happy to be getting married. She told me that she’d been in love with him for a long time before they ended up getting together. So, it was a fairytale romance how it all worked out in the end.
What a Beautiful wedding!! Everyone looks so happy and you all look like Bollywood stars!!
I am so happy that your Mum was able to come and join in the festivities~ You married into a Very special family as well! x
Mubarak for the young couple and to you Sharell!
Such a nice post.
My quest of love http://anshidiary.blogspot.in
Rockin’ that sari again Sharell!
What a beautiful wedding!
I like the crowns the newly married couples are wearing also, I’ve never seen that before (and I go to a lot of weddings!)
Who is that Bollywood ‘A list’ couple in the last 2 pics?
Hey, welcome back! The crowns are an Oriya wedding thing. I believe Lord Jagannath from the temple in Puri also dons a crown when he’s taken out for the Rath Yatra festival. As for that couple in the photos, they look kind of like us on a really spectacular day.
Weddings are always joyous occasions; things to do and people to meet. Nice photos. You look lovely in a saree. We never had love marriages in our family but you never know.
Thank you! Yes, you definitely never know… up until around six years ago, there hadn’t been any love marries in my husband’s family either. The first one was strongly resisted… but now there’ve been three! No one seems phased anymore. Even my mother in law’s eldest sister, who didn’t come to the other love marriages, came to this one.
Hi Sharrel,
You look like you are about to burn up the wedding pandal with your flaming red sari. You always look stunning in saris, but I guess you floored me with the red sari.
Hi Sharrel,
The pose that you stuck was very “bollywoodish” . BTW, did you indulge in bollywood dance at the wedding. Your makeup seems to be inspired by bollywood too. I had always you, you have a great career in bollywood.
I just follow instructions and do what the photographer and others tell me to. I’m hopeless at posing on my own! I might look okay in photos but I’m terrible at showsha and all that stuff in real life. I’m an introvert who doesn’t like the limelight. Unfortunately there was no dancing at the wedding… it all happened at the sangeet.
Another example that your are turning into an Indian “Showsha” very Punjabi like “Roti Shoti”. “Car Vaar”. You enjoy dressing up in Indian outfits and participating in the ceremonies of your in laws because you love them. It shows on your face.
You are hopeless posing on ur own ?!!! i dont believe this. i have always liked your expressions and poses when u see carts and cows in india…lol it was very natural….
Haha, of course, they are funny natural poses for me. Glamorous poses are not.
Here you go, this is my fav… oh look at that joy..hahaha like a child….
http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/IMG_7511a.jpg
cheers
Oh, thanks for digging that up! What fabulous memories! It was on the road approaching Mysore, if I remember correctly. I was overjoyed to have all those things in one photo.
Hi Sharell,
You look very pretty and stunning. wishes for your nephew and partner!!!
I love INDIAN WEDDINGS.. Full of joy, colours, enjoyment, chit chats, foods., etc etc etc!!!
Very pretty!
you look amazing Sharell, really carry the sari well!
Both of u look stunning! ur hubby’s smile matches the dazzle of ur red saree, watt for watt! U have very good taste. even the cream saree is appropriate for the ceremony during the day. Wishing you both a very long and happy married life!
amar
Absolutely stunning!
Gorgeous photos! There is just something lovely about women in sarees.
Now where to start from, i googled about “oiling ur hair on daily basis” and came across ur article about oiling ur hair!
after a litle reading i paid some attention to the comments below, especially to Mr.Ray’s comments nd then i read Urs! Now i must say “decent white girls” must be a dying breed but they are not completely dead! Any way ur husband’s an indian, i m an indian that makes us brothers! So namaste bhabhi ji nd welcome 2 India(even though u came here a long time ago, so sorry for greeting u late) nd bydaway last pic is my favourite! Ur blog goes 2 my bookmarks tab! 
you have actually started looking like an indian……. its even harder to point out the difference when u wear a saree….. even your mom looks so good in tht saree…. very sweet post
secretsofmissdaydreamer.blogspot.in
I’m thrilled to hear that!
It seems you had a lot of fun!
Bling gave me a bling too..:)
Keep smiling! Stay Blessed!
Hey, all nice pics! You look truly Indian in that saree.
Thank you for sharing the photos- everyone looks beautiful and happy!
Hello, longtime lurker first time posting. This story kind of comes along with my situation. My husband and I eloped in the United States (and it made the paper. Funny story, really) his mother was on the line that day saying feb 14 was a very auspicious time for marriage. Little did we know, and still went to the courthouse anyway. My question is we are heading back to Hyderabad in late May before he starts residency. Where are some good areas to check out in AP and have you been around that area? Of course he’s promised to take me up to Agra, he knows I am a big animal lover and a trip to Gujarat to see the lions might be in my future. Who knows though, considering this will be the first meeting of his family, and I doubt this will be my first and only trip to the subcontinent. By the way I love the photos. I’d post mine, but they are already over the internet. (wasn’t my intent)
Hi there, welcome to the comments section!
Unfortunately, I’m not really familiar with AP. I’ve been to Hyderabad but that’s about it. Hopefully some of my readers from that area will be able to give you some input. End of May is a bit difficult weather wise in India — it’s the end of summer before the monsoon starts in early June. It’s very hot and humid, so you might want to head for the mountains. Hope you have a fab visit though.
Hello Mrs. Sikharam, it wasn’t too hard to find one of your wedding pics and you both are looking great. If you are a nature lover, hill resorts are a good idea like Sharell suggested, but there aren’t any in AP where you can avoid the heat. You’ll have to head to the Western ghats, if time permits, Munnar, Ooty, Kodaikkanal etc. Or even go further from Agra to the Himalayas. AP has way lesser attractions like Araku valley and nearby Borra caves, another cave system called Belum caves in an even more arid area. But all these are not advisable during summer, heat stroke guaranteed.
I hail from AP but can’t bear the summer heat there after getting used to So. Cal. weather. So I would advise you to stick to places in and around Hyderabad which your husband will know pretty well and travel will be minimal.
Why art thou so cruel? your cruelty hath no bounds.
but really, beautifu photos Sharell. I hope your mother enjoyed the occassion?
Many congratulations on your nephew’s wedding. You all look so amazing. Your husband and mom and mother-in-law are all living up the occasion.
Sorry, I don’t get to post much these days. Be assured I keep checking your blog from time to time, but my new work with the start-up has totally been sucking up my time.
Lots of love and good wishes! Muah!
Hey, welcome back! It’s good to hear from you. I know how crazy life gets and its so hard to find balance at times (I’ve been like that lately, as I’ve been travelling a lot, I’m finding it hard to get the time to post here even)!
Hi Sharell,
Do you know of any good websites for Indian/clothing online that ships to the US? I’m new to an Indian family and am trying to expand my wardrobe! So far I have a few salwar kameezes but I’d love to get some comfy kurtis and a saree or two. So far I’ve just been prowling around on ebay. Would love some recommendations! It looks like the site you used is in India only.
Also do you have any fashion specific posts on the blog? I’d love to read more about dressing appropriately/wardrobe selection/your favorite things to wear, etc.
You always look so lovely in all your posts! I hope I can be an equally pretty white girl in a saree
Cooool ..indian wedding kya baat hai yaar!
Do women look most graceful in a Sari ? You do look very elegant, Sharell !
Hello Sharell!
Hope all is well with you and your family. I just saw one of your saree photograph from your nephews’s wedding. You and your family look lovely! I apologize for the unsolicited advise, but couldn’t hold back since a lot of tall people do not get that idea. Its up to you if you want to take it or not.
I noticed that your saree (one you wore to reception) length is wee bit shorter and shows your footwear. A saree should sort of hide your foot wear but not drag on the ground. My mom and I often face the same problem – my mum stands 5f 9.5″ and I’m 5f 8.5″
The solution? Well, mum sews 4-5 centimetres fabric (left over scraps; she sews) to the top part of the saree (if you are looking lengthwise). The fabric attachment starts from the non-pallu side (not sure what is it called) and end where you think your pleats would end. For this you have to wear the saree and mark it. Its very simple! Mum does zig-zag instead of straight stitch so that the loose threads are locked from ripping the fabric. You can buy a small piece of plain colour fabric — ones used to sew saree blouses – and use it.
And yes, hard to believe you have a nephew of marriageable age!
Thanks for the tip, V. You are both quite tall, similar to me (I’m 5’9″).
These photos are beautiful Sharell! Thank you for sharing them with us. I love Indian weddings!
Your husband looks really cute in the first photo. I love the shirt he’s wearing.
Nice sharrell love your big goofy smile