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can i marry my brother in law (sister husband)


9:05 am
October 5, 2012


New Member

posts 1

My name is Ramya. I am 25 years old. My sister is 5 years older than me.
She had married before 10 years ago. She has no child. Doctor confirmed
that she can't be carry a child. They suffered a lot without having a
child. I am not interested in marriage although my family compelled for
my marriage. But I refused it. Two years ago, one day my sister came to
me and cried a lot for not having child. She asked me to give birth a
child for her husband. First I refused her. After that she came daily
and cried lot. My family also suggests me to do that for my sister since
you are not going to marry, then why you can't carry a child for your
beloved sister. Then I agreed to carry a child only through artificial
insemination. We consulted a doctor. She checked my body and I am good
condition for artificial insemination. But the cost of charge she told
in lakhs. We are poor family we can't pay that amount. We have also
consulted two three doctors but the result is same. My sister started
weeping. This time she becomes very serious since she has a faith having
a child by me and it suddenly broken. She was affected mentally and
physically. I feel pity of my sister. I can't able see the condition of
my sister. she didnt eat for a week. i went to see her. by seeing her
condition i asked what you want. she asked to promise to gave birth a
child by sex with her husband. then only, I accepted to my sister to
carry a child for her husband by having sex with her husband. I thought
for one day only we have to sex with him.she also told me just one day
only you have to sacrifice. But the condition is different. i am not
pregnant after having sex. we consulted a doctor. The doctor told that
you can't be pregnant by one day. At least you have to sex for one
month. then my sister told me you have entered half well, please fulfill
it. then I have sex with my brother in law for one month. After that I
have become pregnant. then i came to my home, but that time i starved
for sex. After some months I gave birth to a female child. doctor
adviced me to give milk for, I have been in my sister's house
for this 1 year to feed the child. oneday, my sister husband came one
night and asked me for sex. I also allowed him because I also started
loving him since we have lived as husband and wife also i am starving
for sex for one year. Now only I understand about marriage. i told my
brother in law, that i cant imagine other than you to sex with me. My
sister husband told my condition to my sister and she told to my family
members. All consulted and told me let you marry my sister husband. My
sister also accepted since she had only done a sin to me. I also in a
mind to accept this. I know I can't be a legal wife. But since we are
sisters there will be no problem with us. What I have to do.

5:46 am
October 6, 2012

Ravindran Nair

New Zealand


posts 291

Post edited 5:52 am – October 6, 2012 by Ravindran Nair

I am lost for words….


My head has just exploded reading that post.


Well who am I to judge, to each his/her own I guess.

8:10 pm
October 6, 2012



posts 1365

Post edited 8:17 pm – October 6, 2012 by Manny

What are you looking for here? Approval?


Polygamy is illegal in almost all  civilized socieities.  On the other hand if social approval is  not what you are looking for, what happens between two  (In this case three) conensiting adults is y'alls own business.  


But Its going to be difficult for you to get the larger social approval… yes even from Gories and Goras. This is generally not a  socially acceptable behavior  even in western countries. 



11:13 am
October 7, 2012

Tamasha the Choto Rani

Choto Rani
Choto Rani

posts 653

Post edited 11:18 am – October 7, 2012 by Tamasha the Choto Rani

Namaste Ramya,

First of all, the doctor who told you that you must have sex with a man for a month to get pregnant is incorrect. A woman is only fertile for 1 to 2 days of her monthly cycle.

Second, if your sister and her husband do not have enough money to pay for artificial insemination & your medical care during the pregnancy & after the pregnancy- then your sister & her husband do not have enough money to raise a child. 

I would insist that your sister & her husband pay for artificial insemination as well your prenatal & postnatal care (medical care during pregnancy, medical assistance & hospital fees at the time of birth, medical care after the pregnancy). If your sister & her husband can not afford to pay for all of this then they can not afford to pay to care for a baby properly.

Please be aware that pregnancy is NOT without risk, your body will NEVER be the same as it was prior to giving birth. Possible complications of pregnancy are strokes (blood clots or deep vein thrombosis), gestational diabetes, severe high blood pressure, pelvic girdle pain (can last for years), varicose veins, and hemorrhoids to name a few. 

Are you aware that 20% of women who have given birth suffer urinary incontinence (they leak urine constantly)?

About 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage- Are you prepared to suffer a miscarriage? Can your sister & her husband afford your medical care in case you miscarry? Do you know that if you suffer a miscarriage you most likely will have to undergo a medical procedure to remove the dead fetus?

What if you require an expenseive procedure at the time of birth such as a 'Cesarean section'? About 32% of women require this surgery at birth- are your sister & her husband willing to pay for a Cesarean section? How about your hospitable care to recover from this surgery?

What if there is something 'wrong' with the baby?

Will your sister & her husband be prepared to pay for any treatment to correct whatever deformity the baby may suffer? (If the deformity can be treated?) An example would be a deformity such as a heart defect, a cleft palate, spinal herniation- treatable through an EXPENSIVE & prolonged series of surgeries on the child.

If the baby suffers some deformity that is 'not treatable' will your sister & her husband still care for the baby? (Examples of birth defects include mental retardation such as Down's Syndrome, cerebral palsy, limb defects.)

Will your sister & her husband be able to afford the 'special care' of a baby that has problems?

Will your sister & her husband even accept a baby with some sort of defect or will you be left to care for a 'special needs' child?

Overall, there are a lot of risks to consider when having a child- both to mother & baby. It doesn't matter how young or healthy you are these risks are still very real.

I'd give this a lot of thought. 

If your sister & her husband are not willing or able to pay for your medical pre & post natal care and the artificial insemination procedures- I'd say they are not able to afford to raise a child at this time.

I'd also say your sister & her husband are quite selfish putting their emotional needs & wants above your health & well being. 

I'd tell your sister & her husband to improve their financial situation before even thinking about having a child- obviously they aren't taking into consideration the money necessary for your medical care nor the child's medical care.

You are an adult woman, you can make your own decisions, you control your own body- just be certain you are aware of all the risks, responsibilities, and potential consequences of your decisions.

Take care, 



1:11 pm
October 7, 2012

Sharell शारेल

Mumbai, India.


posts 894

It sounds like the medical advice has been dubious all round. A simple internet search brings up information, from what's reputably one of the best infertility clinics in Mumbai, that says a simple and straighforward artificial insemination costs only 3,000 to 8,000 rupees (not lakhs and lakhs)!! See here.

5:48 pm
October 7, 2012

Tamasha the Choto Rani

Choto Rani
Choto Rani

posts 653


I was wondering about that too. 

I wonder if she is confusing Artificial Insemination with In Vitro fertilization?

IVF can cost around 200,000 INR.

Either way, if her sister & husband are unwilling or unable to pay the expenses required for the pregnancy – I'd say they aren't able to afford ANY child at all.

There's also a reputable surrogacy program in New Delhi also, 'New Life Fertility Clinic'. But that requires lakhs & lakhs also.

7:26 pm
October 8, 2012



posts 1365

Post edited 7:27 pm – October 8, 2012 by Manny

"I'd say they aren't able to afford ANY child at all."


People who can least afford children seem to have the most number of children in this world.

3:17 pm
October 9, 2012



posts 771

I think you must find a way to have an official status for you and your child. Now you seem to all have a good relationship but who knows what the future holds ?


Isn't it possible for muslims to have several wives ?

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